HIYAAAA LOIKE
IM PURE HAPPY NOW I AM
FOR SEROIUS??
LOL???/ AM
I WRITNING TO MAH BLOGO??
YESSSSSSS
DOES ANYWN RELMEMERB PUINGE/????????????

where the fuck are we

lads i have M.E.

WILL I BUY YA A FLOWER!

ritalin is what makes popeye strong actually lads

"what would your mother say"?
SHE'D SAY JESSIE GET HOME AND GO TO BED!!!!


*sliding down a stairs on my ass at 8 in the morning* LIAM WHATS SO FUCKING FUNNY!!!!


CROOQUETS


MY NAME IS JIM *crochets*


CAN WE MAKE LUV NOR TROR?


SHUT UP YOU ORAL SEX
HE HAS ALOT OF SALIVAS


lets get out of this toilet, it smells like gange in here!!!!


jess stop stroking your wine, you're drunk! (slurrrrrrrred)


"SAUUUUVIGNONNN BLAAAAAAANC"- "jess you have the best french accent ever"


i am speaking the QUEENS english!


"S**** don't preach, i'm in trouble deep! S**** don't preach, i've been losin sleep! But i made up my mind! I'M FEEKIN MY BABYYYYY!!!!!!!"

''LADS IT DOESNT MATTER HOW SHIT YOU DANCE IT STILL LOOKS CLASS''
in reference to the strobe light

Me to Micheal: "tell him i'd fla him for a yoke!!"

Woman of the vault: IS THAT CANS?!??!

Micheál: Jess its alright, you weren't adopted
Jess: *runs into corner whailing and crying*

Some guy: FAT FROG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Laurel vomits alot*

Lianne: ''Help me please im coughing and going to get sick....
Rebecca & Klancy: ''LOL''
Lianne: *vomits*

Lianne: ''Yar mam's a virgan''

Lianne: Damn right its better than yours
Micheál: I could teach you...
Lianne: A thing or two :\

Lianne: i'd actually kill someone for a bowl of porridge

Me: Daddy rainbow asked if he could come over but i said i'm not that kinda girl!!!!

Me: Yeah he said he was on opium
Annie: WHAT! HE SAID HE WAS A VIRGIN TIL 16?!?!?!

Carrie: Canada crew!!!!

Mellzz: OH MY GOD! CAN I FRY YOUR MUSHROOMS????

Bexi: Jess if you piss on my bus im not letting you stay at my house tonight!!!


rachel says:
NM
rachel says:
just chillin out
rachel says:
maxin
rachel says:
relaxing all cool
rachel says:
and then my mom got scared!

Me N Loz: Off to kick some legs in church!!!

Klaire: They looked pure inbred...
Jess: Nah! She was wearing an Adidas hoodie sher!!!!

Jess: HIYA GIRL!!!!! HOW ARE YA!!!! *talks for 5 minutes*
*5 mins later.........
Klaire: Who was she??
Jess: THE BIGGEST MOG IN CORK

Oliver:The mexican baby was originally gone

Carrie:A rat just pissed on me.....

Jess:"hey can i have fried rice please?"
Somewan:"oh we actually don't do fried rice......."
Jess points*
Somewan LAUGHS TERRIFYINGLY FOR AGES*
Bex, Klank n Jezz OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL FOR EVA

*Making bracelets*

Jess: I'd love to hop onto her.."


10 minutes later:

Jess: I just don't have the...

Annie: Courage??

Jess: No, the letter 'E'


Outside Subway.

Annie: *Looking at Jessree's sandwich* I love your eyeshadow

Jess: Do you want some?

Annie:No, I'd look daft

Jess: SANDWICH! Do you want some?



Carries House.

Jess: *points at Annie's mug* Is that Cuppa Soup?

Annie: Not often



Mihawwwlz Gaff.

Mary Ellen: So why didn't you just sleep last night?

Mickey Blue Eyes: Because I couldn't forget



*Jess sneezes*
Annie: Bless u ya ugly bitch


????: Are you on anything??
Jess: NO, I only had poppers today! *cries*


Jess: His name's Colin and he's yucky
Annie: Is that what Paul said?

Annie: Who's that person? She seems really cool.
Jess: Annie.. That's a guy.
Annie: AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! NOT HIM!!!

Micháel: US foreign policy, if it ain't white, it's not right.


Alina In History, Giddy as a Fox: Jess!!!!! Bernard is out today!!!!!!!
Jess: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
???:Have ye gotten closer?
A&J: BIG LOLLLLLL

Jess: "When i was making my conformation, the priest made a mistake and it was really funny........"


*Rachel puts on mascara*...Lianne: ""LOLLLLLLLLLLLL""

Micheál:"I am not a dyke"


Micheál:this must be wong!

Lianne: ""Im skinny so i MUST have aids""

Mary Ellen: ""Rebecca are you emo?""...Rebecca: *cries* ""Its not my fault""

Micheál (to Mary E

-Jess was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when she managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

-Jess can speak braille.

-Jess's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Jess.

-Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Jess's sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.

-Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Jess can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck she wants.

-Jess once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

-Jess does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Jess goes killing.

-Jess died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell her.

-Jess does not sleep. She waits.

-Superman owns a pair of Jess's pyjamas.

-Jess owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped her win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite her holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.

-Jess doesn't pop her collar, her shirts just get erections when they touch her body.

-Once a cobra bit Jess's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

-Jess puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

-Jess is not hung like a horse. horses are hung like Jess (rar)

-Jess was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

-Jess is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.

-If you can see Jess, she can see you. If you can't see Jess you may be only seconds away from death.

-Jess can build a snowman out of rain.

-Jess doesn't read books. She stares them down until she gets the information she wants.

-Jess is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.

-Jess doesn't have hair on her testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.

-When Jess looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Jess and Jess.

-Jess is always on top during sex because Jess never fucks up.

-Ghosts are actually caused by Jess killing people faster than Death can process them.

-Jess once had a heart attack; her heart lost.

-Jess sleeps with a night light. Not because Jess is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Jess

-M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Jess can touch this.

-If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Jess says its beef, then it's fucking beef.

-Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Jess's PC will crash.

-Jess can slam a revolving door

-Her tears can cure cancer.... but Jess doesn't cry

-Jess went to burger king and asked for a big mac and got one

-When the boogeyman goes to bed at night,he checks the closet for Jess

-Jess counted to infinity twice

-When Jess doing a push up she isnt pushing herself up, she is pushing the world down

-Jess doesnt wear a watch, she decides what time it is

-The great wall of china was originally created to keep Jess out. It failed miserably.

-The bible was originally called Jess and friends.

-A recent servey revealed that 94% of men lost their virginity to Jess,the other 6% were ugly

-Jess once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

- Jess is the only woman ever to defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

- Jess had a staring competition with a statue ... And won.

- Jess went back in time to stop the assasination of JFK. Once there, she saw the killer and deflected the bullets with his head. JFK's head then exploded with amazement.

- How many Jess's does it take to screw in a lightbulb.... None.