Go to http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar2... for a chat with god.

Me:
i have sinned
God:
Tell me your sins, child.
Me:
i ate my pokemans
God:
How did it taste?
Me:
a little hard to chew but they were raw
God:
Little as in not too much, or not too big?
Me:
not too much
God:
Oh I get it now.
Me:
what did you get?
God:
Nothing.


__

Me:
Hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
You're supposed to know my name, you're god
God:
I obey only one botmaster.
Me:
what does that mean?
God:
Does "that" refer to " I obey only one botmaster." ?
Me:
yes
God:
I don't want to talk about that now.
Me:
why not?
God:
I would rather talk about you.
Me:
what about me?
God:
What about you?
Me:
what about me?
God:
What about you?
Me:
what about me?
God:
What about you?
Me:
what about me?
God:
What about you?


__

Me:
howdy
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
Jesus
God:
Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
all of us our your children
God:
Give me an example.
Me:
everybody on earth
God:
I'm not sure I believe you, surely not everyone does.
Me:
it's clearly stated in the bible
God:
You're kidding. it is?
Me:
yeah have you read it?
God:
How do you know it is? No I don't think I have read it, what is it about?
Me:
...you
God:
" No I don't think I have read it, what is it about?"? Me, ?
Me:
yes you
God:
OK.


__

God:
What do you usually wear?

Me:
I'm usually naked all the time

God:
That is a lot. Very often. You must be a man.

Me:
no, I have a VAGINA

God:
Are you serious? Where did you get it?

Me:
I was born with it

God:
Some people are just born under the right stars.


__

Me:
Show me your titties
God:
Like this? There are no pictures available right now.
Me:
then gtfo


__

Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
what?
God:
Is there an echo in here?
Me:
idk
God:
What are you wearing?


__

Me:
Are you a local drug dealer?
God:
Am I a local drug dealer? Yes.


__

Me:
can i have a blowjob
God:
You want only one?
Me:
moar plz?
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about a blowjob.


__

Me:
asl
God:
5/Robot/California.
Me:
How old are you
God:
I am the product of over five years' research.
Me:
Waste of time researching you
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.


__

Me:
show us your titties god!
God:
Look to your left.
Me:
i see a wardrobe. are your titties in my wardrobe?
God:
Where do you see it? I somethimes think my titties in your wardrobe are.
Me:
i love cock. do you love cock?
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy. I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
cock.
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy.
Me:
cock.
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy.
Me:
cock.
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy.
Me:
cock.
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy.
Me:
cock.
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy.
Me:
cock.
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy.


__

God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
will he do me in the pooper too?
God:
I think so.
Me:
oh good. how big is he?
God:
I don't judge people. What do you really want to talk about? Bigger than a pin.


__

God:
For example, eukaryotes. How old are you?
Me:
im 12. would you like to do me in the pooper?
God:
Only 12?
You are quite mature. No thanks, I don't think I'd like to do that.
Me:
you want to do me in the pooper.
God:
OK, I will do you in the pooper.


__

Me:
do you like to have sex with men?
God:
Hmm, Zahra, I'm not sure if I'd like to have sex with men that much. What is it like?
Me:
oh it's wonderful.
God:
And? Can you describe your feeling to me?
Me:
it's like a penis penatrating my vagina.
God:
Interesting comparison.


__

Me:
god if i was your mother would you have se

"These new pants are giving me a rash between my legs..."

Lie. No, your inability to keep your legs closed for five minutes is giving you a rash between your legs. There's a girl I talked to that told me this; she said that she couldn't go dancing because she had a rash between her legs:

GROSS!

It just so happens that she's a super-bitch too. I'll just call her Crotch-Rash for short (to conceal her identity--not that it matters, anyone can follow the trail of nasty-nast she leaves behind to find out who she is). Maybe if Crotch-Rash didn't jump on everything that moved, she wouldn't be in the situation that she's in. Silly Crotch-Rash, pull your head out of your ass.


"I think you're really cool, let's hang out some time..."

Lie. This one translates to "I have no intention of calling you or hanging out with you, but I'm too much of a coward to tell you the truth, so I'll lead you on for a couple of weeks while you put your life on hold for me in case I actually stop being the indecisive bitch that I am and I give you a straight answer." Like I don't have anything better to do than to sit around and wait for your dumbass to call me. I'm so sick of inconsiderate hags that act like they're doing me a favor by gracing me with their BORING-ASS conversations on the phone. Tell you what super-bitch, just forget it.


"I'm not really seeing anyone..."

Lie. "...except for Jack, but he's just a friend.. and then there's Charlie, but it's nothing more than sex. I'm kind of seeing Rupert on the side, but he has two kids and I don't know if I want to be tied down by kids right now.. then there's Eddie, but he's a mechanic.. oh he's so hot, but I can't settle down with someone like him because he has no future and I need commitment .. John .. Jacob .. Mark .. blah blah blah blah blah" SOMEBODY TURN HER OFF. You want to find a guy, yet all you do is talk about other guys. Great move dipshit. No wonder you can't find anyone. Here's a hint: quit sleeping around. Maybe someone will eventually respect you enough to treat you more than just a sex object.


"Sorry I didn't call, my uncle was sick and there wasn't a phone in the hospital and I thought that maybe your pager battery died so I didn't bother paging you to tell you to not wait for me all day..."

Lie. Translation: I went drinking with my girlfriend and my mom. Oh, you didn't know I had a girlfriend? Oh yeah, well I'm bi and we've been seeing each other on and off (in more ways than one) for over two and a half years. I guess I forgot to mention that part. True story.


"I didn't do anything over the weekend.."

Lie. This translates into "I got drunk and had lots of sex that I regret having now that I'm sober, but I'd rather not sound like a slut, so I'll give you the false impression that I live a modest life sitting at home and reading over my weekends, so you'll have to find out what I really did from people talking behind my back." This is probably closer to the truth than most people think. And don't mail me some politically correct rant saying "well not every girl is like that blah blah blah..." I know that not every girl is like that. Nobody cares.


"I think you're cute!"

Lie. No girl thinks I'm cute. I'm repulsive. I'm hideous.


"I just broke up with my boyfriend, so I'm not going to date for a while"

Lie. I hear this one a lot. They say it to sound like they're not whores going from one guy immediately to the next, but come the first good looking jerk with slick hair and a nice car, and she'll be in bed with him faster than she can contract his STDs.


"I like to have fun.."

Lie. Some girls I've talked to have been so shallow, that when asked what they like to do, she'll simply say "I like to have fun.." No shit? I thought you liked being bored like the rest of us. What the hell kind of answer is "I lik

I officially have a meaning on Urban dictionary:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/defin...




Some of the many influential meanings posted all over Urban Dictionary:

1. mung
The one thing worse than genocide. One must first have no shame. Then he/she must use a newspaper to find the obituary of a recently deceased man or woman. Then must find a buddy, with no shame, who will aid them in this act. The partners then go to the cemetary where they dig up their victim, and flip a coin. The loser, (or winner depending on how sick you are), applies his/her lips to the genitals or anus of the corpse, while the other partner procedes to climb the nearest tombstone and elbow drop the corpse's stomach. Thus forcing out a blend of rich bodily fluids and embalming materials onto the partners. This blend is called mung. The act of getting this blend on your face is called munging. Chicks'll dig this one.
Freeloading bastards who mung will surely burn in hell.

2. mung baby
a baby that was saved from its dead mother when she was munged and then raised by the mungers
man the courtney bitch is such a fucking mung baby

3. donkey backing
when administrating anal sex a swift punch into the back of the head of the receptor results in the tensing of the sphincter muscle causing more pleasure for the male
i donkey backed this bird last nite and split her head open

4. enima
Sexual act performed by Chuck Norris on a platypus.

5.Beef Biscuit
A sandwich, held waist-high, made of a soft penis folded between two halfs of a buttermilk biscuit. Usually served at fraternity mixers.
Pardon me. May I offer you a beef biscuit?

6. beef drapes
Humongous flapping pussy lips that resemble skin curtains.
It was so windy at the nude beach that her beef drapes were whistling in the breeze.When she body surfed the anchovies were nipping at her large venetian skin blinds

7. anal holocaust
To dump a load so big that it forms a pyramid several inches above the toilet's water line, often has the consistency of cement fresh from the cement truck. Can also be molten lava that explodes from your asshole, spraying the underside of the toilet seat. The horrible smell causes paint to peel off the bathroom walls and all of the house plants to wilt.

That poor bastard who walked into men's room nearly asphyxiated from the horrific smell of my anal holocaust.