Helen

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Pumps over Stilettos/Hos over Bros...they're just better friends
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  • life is a pizza

    I cried today. God its been a while. The first Friday night to myself in months and I thought ‘hmm what am I gonna do? so I did it..i just went for it…grabbed a box of Pringles a glass of wine and settled down to watch one of the best films ever – The notebook.

    I know I sound like a single 35 year old woman but I don’t care. Im not embarrassed to say that yes sometimes I really really like having my own space and my own ‘helen time’. I mean don’t get me wrong I love going out and having a good laugh and a great time with my friends but sometimes just you know once in a while a girl needs a little TLC.

    Why is it that girls love chick-flicks so much? Because we’re jealous? Coz it makes us hope that one day we can all get our very own happy endings? Because we can laugh at how ridiculous they looked in that 90’s film? Because we can relate? Because we’re all still serarching for our very own Mr.Darcy?Because we would literally kill for that Philip Lim dress?

    To be honest im not sure but I think I’d put some money on the idea that it’s a bit of everything….i mean in my dream world…well no wait lets not go down that road coz I could be here for days, and you know it!

    If you think about it there is a reccuring theme in all these chick-flick films. The importance of friendship. I mean I don’t think I could name a single chick-flick which doesn’t have a group of friends in it…come one think about it..name me just one??? Legally blonde?nope. Bridget Jones? Nope. Notting Hill? Nope. P&P? nope……see? Its impossible.

    And I think in our own little personal chick-flicks its important to have and chersish good friends coz we all know that some time sooner or later our little Mr.Darcys are going to end up being pricks anywyas so we need someone to pick us up when we fall. After all the friends are the ones with all the chat and the witty one liners. They’re the ones that you can rely on. Not that daft English ponce that desperately needs a haircut and who’ll make you soon after one blink of an eye..nope not them…yer pals. (well who are we kidding here? Hugh Grant???yes please!)

    What these chick-flicks don’t pick up on is how hard it can be to keep up good friendships. Its hard….i mean I like to think about everything in food or clothes terms… and in this case its pizza. Life is one big pizza. We are the bases…some people are more cooked than others and some are still a little undercooked (and im not talking about tans here) im talking about self-esteem, maturity and determination. If the base is right then it doesn’tmatter what the hell you throw on top of it..its bound to taste and feel just right.

    Then you have your tomato sauce and in my head that’s my family. I know many of you reading this don’t have the conventional family lifestyle (but hey, conventional is relative and totally subjective, right?)but who’s saying there’s anything wrong with that? Come on its almost impossible to find a plain tomoato sauce these days in sainsburys they all have herbs or garlic or a little something extra to make them jazzy so in a sense…you pick the sauce that suits you or you just kinda put up witht the one yer folks shove on yer base. Either way – you cant make a pizza without tomato sauce. That’s a fact and you just have to accept that, ok? So the sooner you learn to love the tomatoes in your life and look after them the tastier your pizza will be.

    Then you have the cheese. This (in my opinion) are your friends and your friendships. There are soooo many different kinds of cheeses its hard to pick your favourite! Personally I like Camembert. Quite a tough crust but soft and kinda creamy on the inside…that’s what all my friends are like – camembert… tough , strong, independent, determined people with a heart of gold inside. This cheese knows what it wants and it wont quit until it gets it….thats why I love my friends….

    And then the toppi

    1 commento 344 giorni

  • HUGS and everything about them that you'll ever need to know

    Yes today's topic is the art of the hug!
    A very important and cruial aspect of our daily lives.
    This week I have been confronted with various dilemmas concerning hugs and I have decided to exclusively publish on bebo “Helen’s Guide to Hug Happiness’. I will not go into any specifics about my hug-dilemas this week as I do not feel like sharing with the group my problem this week! Hahahahahhahaha (guys im soo sorry about this but I have to get myself out of this hole I’ve dug for myself this week!)

    There are basically 4 steps: The Move, The Grip, The Time and The Aftermath.

    Ok so lets get started (please remember to take this as seriously as you can!)

    Step 1: The Move. It is of vital importance that your co-hugee understands and gets the message that you are going in for a hug. Make sure that your hug is always at the end of a spoken sentence. OK so to begin, step in with your right foot then stretch out your right hand (in a two o’clock position) and your left hand (in a 7 o’clock position). Then bring your left foot forward next to your right foot in order to establish balance. Then gradually bring your hands together behind your co-hugee’s back. You should now have formed a kind of criss-cross with your co-assignee. The first step is now complete. Well Done. Please progress to step 2.

    Step 2: The Grip: Three are obviously different levels of grippage. I will explain them and you can decide which seems most appropriate to the different scenarios you are faced with.

    Scenario A – “the average”. Should only last 4 seconds. No more. No less. If you have a little bit more beef than the rest of us (ya lucky bastards) then use that to your advantage! For example, boobs/bellies/mobs are all added bonuses when it comes to the art of the hug! A hug is no time to feel self-concious.

    Scenario B – “the new person/polite hug” should last 2 seconds. Don’t use too much grippage and certainly NO SWAYING, ok? You have to remember that everything lies on the first hug so if you fuck it up then there’s no recovering. I’d personally make sure my face was facing in, do you know what I mean…Because that is seen as quite a personal thing…I’d give it about 3 to 6 months before you get to that stage.

    Scenario C – “the couple hug” Obviously you have the right as a boyfriend/girlfriend to hug your bf/gf for as long as you want. Remember too long=too clingy, too short=you don’t give a shit or your partner is homosexual. Just be careful with this one, I’ve known a lot of couples that have split due to a difference in hugging preferences.

    Scenario D – “the i-hate-you-hug” sometimes in life we are faced with having to hug people that we do not like. (in my case ‘dickboy’ although I have no intention in getting anywhere near 10 metres of him). So as I was saying, ‘the I-hate-you-hug” is failry simple just give them the ‘half hug’ – only use one arm, make sure it last no longer than 1-2 seconds and definetley do not snuggle your face into his/her neck. Make it quick. Get In and get out. Ok? No faffing and get the message across to your co-hugeee that you are not interested in them and that you’d rather eat the shit off of they’re shoes than be near them again. Right ok, time for my favourite…..
    Scenario E – “the first hug”. This is the hug of all hugs. If it goes wrong then maybe he/she isn’t good enough for you. Remember hugs can tell everything you’ll ever need to know about a person!here’s my checklist for all you first huggers out there waiting for the big moment. Check the smell near the neck area (if its shit then ditch him/her, he/she clearly doesn’t shower or give a shit), then check the grippage (if its quite tight then he/she is interested and/or will protect you and feel safe around you) then check muscles[for man-hugs] so if there’s guns there then you know you’re getting a full package if not then ahhwell…it’s not the end of

    4 commenti 392 giorni

  • Introduction to Helen hahahaha

    I have decided to start writing a blog for many reasons.

    Firstly, I am not some closet emo or anything I just feel that since I am quite a chatty person it would be good for me to start getting shit out in writing. I am also gonna do this for future reference so that when I’m old and wrinkled and living in a house that floats in the air with my NHS 24 electronic nanny I can read my blog whenever ‘loose women’ or ‘Jeremy Kyle’ is on repeat.

    So basically it’s a personal thing. There’s also the fact that there’s lots of other things going on in my life at the moment: I have just finished school and started university, just started a new job, making new friends, found out that my dad has cancer, coping with being unbelieavably skint etc etc etc….so I’m kinda using this as therapy as I said before I have no money therefore can’t really afford a therapist and really can’t be arsed spilling all the juice on my life to a tight-arsed middle class bitch from Plymouth. So you guys are just gonna have to do.

    Right so let’s start with leaving school. Last year was a pretty mad year for me as I was voted head girl and was therefore mostly running around the school like a manic headless chicken trying to keep things running smoothly. I think I gave it an allright go considering being stressed is what im best at. I think people just work at their best when they are under pressure. That’s my work ethic, whats yours? I think thats why I chose to do law at uni because I work harder and faster when I have more to do as I have no time for pissing around or bebo-stalking.(yes another one of my many hobbies….)

    Where was I? oh yeh S6. Soooo basically, I went to this school in the west end of Glasgow called Notre Dame. We’re known as the walking jobbies, not because we resembles human faeces but because our uniform is an extremely flattering shade of chocolate/mocha brown which does look like the bottom of yer wellies after a day at Mugdock Country Park.

    It’s a pretty great school. 900 pupils. All girls. Fab teachers and yer usual shite school dinners. The great thing about going to an all girls school is that from S1-S5 you actually don’t give a shit about how you look…its like…who have I got to impress…?? Robert the jannie…nah I don’t think soo…he was well past his prime in the 70s…so as you can imagine we all look pretty rough up until about sixth year when you start getting heavily interested in shit like Heat magazine, BB, Sex & The City, Desperate Housewives blah blah blah…so you actually start making an effort….?!?!Anyways seen as I look more like the bottom of yer wellies than the model on the front cover of ELLE you can see how I didn’t give a shit and still don’t really…..God I have got to start fecking looking after myself! Lol….i’m such a lazy arse man!Uni is such a hassle for me now its like..make-up? oh for fuck’s sake!!!!hassleeeee lol..-->Guys 1 Girls 0

    Anways…..i had a lot of good times at NDHS(Notre Dame High School – for all you who don’t know what abbreviation is [basically people who left school after p5]) there was the trolley dashing down the corridors, the karaokes, the snow fights, the swearing at the teachers in PE (or any class to that fact), the screaming at the hot firemen every 3 fucking weeks when the fire alarm went off, the bitch fights, the YMCA-ing at EVERY school disco (which , yes, to answer your questions was also all girls) and of course who could forget….The teacher chat? It was epic.
    e.g.
    “Sir , how old were you when you went bald?” [Helen Stewart - S5]
    “ehhh blind sex with David Blunkett? I’m not really sure how the technicalities of that what work?!”[Mr.Martin - S6]
    “Helen, can you please get off me now?”[Mrs.Scrimgeour -S4]
    “Miss, my bra strap has just snapped can I please be excused?”[Helen Stewart - S5]
    “Sir, can you shove it up a bit?”(just to clarify too all you sick bastards out

    1 commento 399 giorni

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    • The Hive
      The Hive

      This Thursday October 15th is Silent Headphone Disco!! Thursdays have gone a bit bangers & mashed - our new student night has got off to a fine start with packed bodies each week, and cut up boys (ministry of sound) recently playing. Details on our profile.

      Bargain? Room 1: Electro/R&B/Chart. Room2: Embarassing Cheese/Eighties/Classic Rock&Retro Hits. Bangin\'? 1.50 DRINKS / 2.00 SHOTS / 7.50 PITCHERS all night

      Check the sexy beasts we call regulars & sign up for details at clubhive.co.uk - guestlisters wanted - get paid to invite your mates to our nights!

      As ever.. Fridays remains Misfits: Twisted alt. disco of indie/electro/pop/rock. 1.50 drinks.

      2009-10-12 22:12:30

      6 settimane fa
    • Elvis Hunter Gatherer Extrodinaire
      Elvis Hunter Gatherer Extrodinaire

      que pasaaaaaaaaaahhhh ! x

      7 settimane fa
    • Neekola.
      luv Neekola.

      Heeeey Helen! :D

      How r u? What u been doin with yourself over the summer? :)

      Might be seeing you around campus come Sept :P I got accepted into the BEd Primary Teaching course at Glasgow :D

      xx

      13 settimane fa
    • Manic.
      Manic.

      heyyyy Sorry I Never Text Back Last Night :L !
      I Did Have Plans Just Like You Asked.. & I Was Going Out With Some Friends Lol :D ... !

      But I Had A Good Day.. Although Tbh Kinda Did The Usual.... Before I Went Out Lol. I,e .. Be Lazy And Watched Tv :L :L !
      So Youv Been Working Your Little Cotton Socks Off Then eh? :) .. Think Of Allll The Money.. Im Sure It'l B worth It Come Payday..

      you Started Driving Lessons Yet?.. Im Sure You Can Afford It Now Lol :P !
      Im Dreading Going Back to Uni.. The Old Paranoia Worrying Rachael Has Reappeared :L .

      Anyways Hope Your Doing Welllll.. I Shall Hopefully Cya Soon.. :(
      I miss The Banter..
      Luv Ya xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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      16 settimane fa
    • Laura
      Laura

      i know hes so fucking hot in it as well, oh my just thinkin about him my heart rate goes up!
      hahaha im really good thanks you?
      just went to see bruno - hilarious!
      yeah got a dress for my bday .. which you better be at love:D
      xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

      17 settimane fa
    • Laura
      luv Laura

      i do believe that the beach is on film four some time sooon my dear
      you must go check leoooo :D xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

      17 settimane fa
    • Giulianna Di Mascio
      luv Giulianna Di Mascio

      oh the weather has got really good :D but im away on tuesday and i think i may have a slightly hotter sun :D :P
      and woo :D you'll ace your driving test ! I cant wait to drive :D Giancarlo said he will take me out in his car once i come back from holiday to start practicing so im excited for that :) . Oh ano small world ive been in Zara i saw you but you were busy so i just left it cos i didnt want to stand in the queue as i wasnt buying anything just passed to see if you were in :P but yeah ! Erin comes in my salon i was like Ahh erin works in Zara!! ill ask her when im washing her hair if she knows helen ! and she did lol but ill defos pop in when im back from my holiday and ill probs be spending so ill say hey defos :) hope you enjoy your summer holiday as you have a long time off and thanks :)
      love love x x x x

      20 settimane fa
    • Giulianna Di Mascio
      luv Giulianna Di Mascio

      lolol Welcome back to the lovely weather of glasgow :D haha its soo shit!. aww Rose mcGintys big sister? cant really remember her but i know who yur talking about :P aww glad yous had a good time :D i cant wait to get some sun shine :D lol .. Did you get yourself a driving instructor! you so should learn over your 5 months off :D ! i cant wait to drive lol will get lessons in november when i turn 17 :P . . oh a bob ! nice one :D its giving me flash backss of me getting mines done lol i loved it but im in process of growning it out :L i loved it and all but miss my long hair :D im too lazy lol hope you have pics of your holiday ! aw i will do :D ill be looking for this bob ! lol x x x x

      23 settimane fa
    • Giulianna Di Mascio
      luv Giulianna Di Mascio

      Sorry me to i am sending a late reply not on it much either :P aw i have facebook but not quite worked it out yet :P oh from reading your comment your away already!!! hope your having a fabby time i know you will be anyways :D is it Catherine capaldi?? or another catherine? 5 months !! that is amazing! wish that was me lol im just off to italy for 2 weeks with my mum and 3 wee sisters im going a holiday for cheapooo this year :D not going away with any friends lol need to save my moneys for a bit :)
      im just working in mak hairdressing its just off argile street on glassford street training up there which i am doing just to have the skill of it :P ...

      Oh do you im in zara quite alot aswell ! well not the kiddies bit but next time im in ill have a wee wonder and say hiya! :) x x x x x

      24 settimane fa
    • Emma Rice
      luv Emma Rice

      hey baby fanx 4 addin me :) see u thursday sexy cheeka :D xxx

      24 settimane fa
    • Aimee L
      Aimee L

      how was your beach party?
      enjoy your holiday!!
      x

      25 settimane fa
    • Giulianna Di Mascio
      luv Giulianna Di Mascio

      Oh hiyaa :D
      aww ive been goood! yourself ???
      lol rubbish haha no kidden its quite good just the fact of work everyday lol can get sick of that one you at uni just now? hows things with yourselff?? x x x

      27 settimane fa
    • Eva Bland
      luv Eva Bland

      i cant wait till there over :D
      Todays just been horrible, been at the library and did fuck all :'( xD

      NICEEEEEEE ONEEE (Y)
      that sounds awesome - good chat :D
      Paco ... pool guy? I will be checking him out immediatly - tanned, toned and tall HES GOT IT ALL

      Aww thanks :) i told my friends about the attidude and they are all gonna tell the exam where to go before beating the crap out of it ... with their knowledge of course :)

      Talk to you soon xxxx

      27 settimane fa
    • Eva Bland
      Eva Bland

      haha aww thats nice of them :) But hey any exuse for a party mate :P but i suppose it was a party - you did have balloons after all

      oh man, can wait till exams are over - non stop partying till i got back is the plan cuz i got a full week. weyhey :D

      ooooh next saturday. its a bitch you get them on the weekend D= good luck x

      Got plans for the summer?

      xx

      28 settimane fa
    • Justin
      Justin

      thanks i learned in minutes lol
      yeah i am, eh north glasgow college but their not doing my second year so i might be going to pasiely uni or stow college i dunno yet lol
      hows uni? what is it your doing? you enjoying it?
      nah am not driving lol but i hope to learn in the summer...hopefully lol

      28 settimane fa
    • Domalomalomalom
      Domalomalomalom

      nice vauge group posted bebo'n. aye im grand what you been up to? i didnt see you at the Lourdes dinner, bad chat....

      28 settimane fa
    • Justin
      Justin

      lol yeah my spanish has developed very well dont you think. lol
      yeah we should meet up, be well good!
      yeah am getting on well....college..work...and the usual lol but yeah what have you been up to?

      28 settimane fa
    • Bad.Romance
      luv Bad.Romance

      Happy Birthday!:)

      Sorry for the late replyyyyy!!!

      YEAAAAHHHH im goooood!:) :) ...really enjoying uni!:P ...tend to spend most of my time shopping rather than lectures but hey ho eh??:L ....Only got 1 exam to sit...got my 2 chemistry exemptions and stats one! So its not too bad!! :D

      so how about you??

      Hows uni? Life???

      HOW THE HELL ARE YOU?? :D


      xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

      28 settimane fa
    • Neekola.
      luv Neekola.

      Hey Helen!

      So nice to hear from you, we all just seemed to drift apart :(

      Bit stressed out about Higher English just now. Hopefully all going well with English(B!) I will be doing Primary School Teaching at Glasgow if not then could be Strathclyde who want a C in English for Primary. Can't believe nearly finished school ... I will be so upset! Think im more scared though :O

      Hows things with you? When do you stop for summer? Any holidays planned?

      xxx

      28 settimane fa
    • Eva Bland
      luv Eva Bland

      you'll be fine aswell ya wee clever clogs you :D

      btw

      HAPPY BIRTHDAY WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
       OOOOOH!!! get up to much?

      and yeah spanish men in kilts - the business

      28 settimane fa