DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT


A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

1. Money isn't made out of paper; it's made out of cotton.

2. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp paper.

3. The dot over the letter i is called a "tittle".

4. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and
down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.

5. Susan Lucci is the daughter of Phyllis Diller.

6. 40% of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.

7. 315 entries in Webster's 1996 Dictionary were misspelled.

8. The spot on 7UP comes from its inventor, who had red eyes. He was albino.

9. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents, daily.

10. Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine are brother and sister.

11. Chocolate affects a dog's heart and nervous system; a few ounces
will kill a small sized dog.

12. Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing up into the
sharks stomach from underneath, causing the shark to explode.

13. Most lipstick contains fish scales (eeww).

14 . Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't
wear pants.

15. Ketchup was sold in the 1830's as medicine.

16. Upper and lower case letters are named 'upper' and 'lower'
because in the time when all original print had to be set in
individual letters, the upper case' letters were stored in the case
on top of the case that stored the smaller, 'lower case' letters.

17. Leonardo Da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the
other at the same time, hence, multi-tasking was invented.)

18. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War
II were made of wood.

19. There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.

20. The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan; there was
never a recorded Wendy before!

21. There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with: orange,
purple, and silver.

22. Leonardo Da Vinci invented scissors. Also, it took him 10 years
to paint Mona Lisa's lips.

23. A tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion will make it instantly go
mad an sting itself to death.

24. The mask used by Michael Myers in the original "Halloween" was a
Captain Kirk's mask painted white.

26. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can't
sink in quicksand (and you thought this list was completely useless.)

27. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law,
which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider
than your thumb.

28. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market
was the Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola.

29. Celery has negative calories! It takes more calories to eat a
piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with. It's the same with apples!

30. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying!

31. The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.

32. Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most
often stolen from Public Libraries.

33. Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space
because passing wind in a space suit damages it.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself... The only thing fear has to fear is Simon Galligan and his law degree

Simon Galligan doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.

Simon Galligan is not a beast, Simon Galligan is THE beast.

Simon Galligan doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."

Simon Galligan tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Simon Galligan does not sleep. He waits.

The chief export of Simon Galligan is pain.

When the Bogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Simon Galligan.

Simon Galligan died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

Simon Galligan counted to infinity - twice.

Simon Galligan sleeps with a night light. Not because Simon Galligan is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Simon Galligan

Simon Galligan can slam revolving doors.

At birth, Simon Galligan came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Simon Galligan but Simon Galligan

Simon Galligan is allowed to talk about Fight Club.

Simon Galligan receives 20% from the taxman himself.

Simon Galligan can divide by zero.

Simon Galligan once went on Celebrity Jeopardy and answered, "Who is Simon Galligan?" to every question. It was the first and only time in Jeopardy history that a contestant answered every single question right.

If Simon Galligan is late, time better slow the fuck down.

If at first you don't succeed, you are obviously not Simon Galligan.

Simon Galligan once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but
Simon Galligan says its beef, then it's fucking beef.

Simon Galligan has only one hand: the upper hand.

Simon Galligan can speak Braille.

Simon Galligan, Vin Diesel and Arnold Schwarzenegger have all died and are in Heaven. Each of them hope to occupy the seat next to God. God asks Vin Diesel why he thinks he should have the seat and Vin replies, "I believe... I should have the seat because of the virtuosity in my toughness and pride." Arnie says, "I believe... that I should be the one sitting next to you because of all my achievements." God then turns to Simon Galligan, who replies with, "I believe... you are sitting in my seat."

As a child, Simon Galligan played Hungry Hungry Hippos with real hippos.

Most men are okay with their wives fantasizing about Simon Galligan
during sex, because they are doing the same thing.

Simon Galligan is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Simon Galligan.

Simon Galligan never gets brain freeze. Slush Puppies know when to back the fuck off.

Simon Galligan refers to himself in fourth person.

When Simon Galligan was in primary school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is Courage?" Simon Galligan received an "A+" for writing only the words "Simon Galligan" and promptly turning in the paper.

Simon Galligan only uses one chopstick.

Water boils faster when Simon Galligan watches it

You are what you eat. That is why Simon Galligan's diet consists entirely
of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children

The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an
immovable object" was finally solved when Simon Galligan punched himself
in the face

Simon Galligan sold his soul to the devil for his ability to never feel
pain and unparalleled strength. Shortly after the transaction was
finalised, Simon bounced the devil before dumping him on his ass and
taking his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay
mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker
every second Wednesday of the month.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself... The only thing fear has
to fear is Simon Galligan

Similar to a Russian Nesting Doll, if you were to break Simon Galligan
open you would find another Simon Galligan insid