Add any if you have the time

KTM-
Krap Thunder Muffin
Keep This Mobile
Kool Tossers Mobile
Keep Trousers Momentum
Kick the Mongral

Honda-
Hold On 'nd Dont Ass-arround
Help On 'nd Do Asasanate
Happy Old Nomes Drive Antelope

Suzuki-
Some Un-educated Zolos Under Kare Invest
Same Un-developed Zink-carbon Under Karige Inside

Yamaha-
Y all men allways have a.....
Yell At Mountains Apon Hearing a......

Polaris-
People Onely Love Anybody Rich In Scotland

Quad-Zilla-???????

BMW-
Bought My Wife
Burnt My Wheels

BRP-
Brilliant racing potential
British racing proof

Being a Farmer
you know your a farmer when....................

Your front carpet is muddier than your drive.

you have animals living in buildings more expensive than your house.

You can remeber fertiliser rate seeding rate herbicide rate and yields on a farm you leased 10 years ago but cannot recall your wifes birthday.

You need a *licence* before leaving the house.

Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife.

You fibbed to a mechanic about how often you greased a piece of machinery.

Your whole family falls instantly silent when the weather comes on the news.

You cant help picking up stones and throwing them to the edge of the field.

If you see a bit of string in a feild you pick it up and put it in your pocket.

You put a jacket on over your overalls to look smart.

You take an instant dislike to anyone wearing a suit walking into your farmyard.

You use baler twine as a dog lead.

You talk to every cow you see even if its not your own.

Your daughters dont bring new boyfreinds home for fear of dad asking them if they can drive a tractor.

You have a friendly rivalry with the farmer next door.

Getting up at 7am is a lie-in.

You get more letters from DEFRA than you do from friends and family.

You can't drive along a road anywhere in britain without studying everyone else's crop's and livestock.

Drilling does not mean putting holes through interior walls.

Your 4x4 acctually goes off road.

You get frustrated by people calling straw "hay".

Your most valued possesion is your pen knife.

A lamb follows the children into the kitchen and no one thinks its unusual.

You confidently walk arround the supermarket in wellies.

You open a bale and discover an old mobile phone.

You drive your new telehandler repeatedly past your neighbour's yard until someone appears.

You feel naked without baler twine in your pocket.

You've run over your own cat in a tractor

When someone says they live on an estate you think of fields and woods rather than a barratts development

You tut at people in tesco buying danish bacon and french bread

You don't sit down to a single hot meal in august

You fall asleep with-in 3 minutes of sitting down in front of the t.v

Your sun tan ends just above the elbow in the summer

You've had a live lamb in your aga

You only take the kids to the seaside when it rains

There is small heaps of grain outside the back door of the house every summer

Dress sense means cutting down on nitrogen applications

Your ideal holiday is to visit other peoples farms

Your hands look like they are made with the same material as your boots

Your bag on your hoover is full of grain from july to september

The faint (but agreeable) smell of disel never leaves you

Your lawn includes hundreds of cattle hoof prints

Your alarm clock is set to farming today, even though you hate it now

You've got the RPA's number on speed dail in your phone

When you listen to radio 4's the archers and think how happy all the characters are

A good holiday is a week in the west coast in november

Track and field has nothing to do with athletics

Mummy--
Daddy--
Big Sister--Lisa C
Little Sister--Fiona B
Big Brother--William
Little Brother--Cameron S
Evil Twin--
Ace Twin--Olivia J
My Everything!--
Auntie--
Uncle--Amelia
Cousin 1--
Cousin 2--
Grandma--
Granny--
Nanny--
Grandpa--
Grandad--Samir
Son--
Daughter--
Wife--
Fairy God Mother-- Lisa G
shit head--
Cooking partner--
Devil-
Angel--
Bad Angel--
Best friend--
partner in crime--Andrew R
Hottie--
Girlfriend--
The whore--
Pedo--
Stalker--Helen H
Good enemy--
Show partner--
Shooting partner--
Random that i have never met--Judo
Motor Biking idiots--Steven Paul