A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Mom: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with Ahmed and he is so nice-even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Mom, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Ahmed taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Ahmed can get better; he sure deserves it!! Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grand children.

Your daughter, Judith

PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

did you lose your virginity in your own bed?
Yes I did

How old were you when you first smoked weed?
Lol 21!

Have you ever lived with your girlfriend/boyfriend?
Yeah what a disaster

Have you ever taken someone back after they've cheated?
Hell no but they have taken me back

Have you ever peed while on the phone?
Yeah and for some reason I always decide to tell them whilst im peeing.

Are you taller than your mom?
I am now cos shes shrinking

What are you planning on doing after filling this out?
Going to sleep or reading Twilight

What would happen if you had a baby with the last person you kissed?
Id kill myself

Are you dating the last person you kissed?
God no thankfully

When did your last kiss take place?
Lol about a week ago

When was the last time you got butterflies?
About 4 years ago

Would you ever live with anyone on your top friends?
I do! I live with Jade shes my wee sis

What do you have to do tomorrow?
Get up go visit the grand parents then go to work BOO! And finish my reasearch investigation.

What were you doing at 9 this morning?
Sleepin Well I woke up to pee actually then went back to bed

How's your heart?
It's ace

Do You Have a Crush On Anyone Right Now?
I dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Ever kissed Underwater?
No I might drown

Ever Had Ridiculous Drunken Sex?
haha a few times.......

Do you Flirt a Lot?
I flirt with everyone and anyone

Longest Relationship
3 yrs

Have You ever Kissed 2 People in One Day?
Yeah those are the good nights

Do you have a lot of ex's?
Ex girlfriends no ex boyfriends yes

Are you a slut?
Not at all

Are you liking how you look today?
I thought I looked ok

Are you a very stressed out person?
Yeah but I have valium so its ok

A girl walks up to you and says: "stop staring at my ass" you say...
But I like it

What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
fizzy laces and anything lying in martas table lol

What does your last text message say?
Lol way to long to type out it was from a very cute excited N.Irish person who just met Ruth Larenzo lol

The last song you listened to?
Something in Polish

If you hated someone and got put in charge of their funeral music, what would you play?
Big Girl u are beautiful and prob something by slim shady.

What did you do yesterday?
Went to the pub with my homo then went to visit my losber wife helena

Pick a scar on your body, how'd you get it?
One on my lip from a cold sore I got

What teacher have you hated most and why?
Miss Slessor - fuck she hated me but i hated her just as much grrrrrrrrr

How old is your mom?
41

Who do you trust with your life?
My wife, my soulmate and my homo

If you could change your name to anything what would it be?
Sammy

How often do you swear?
All the time - i love it

How many times a day do you log into bebo?
Depends wot im doing usually once a day

What's the first thing you would do with five million pounds?
Go shopping and buy someone to drive me everywhere

Whos number four on your topfriends?
My sexy Helena

What's the next thing you'll spend money on?
The Torry Bus min

What's one toy you remember having in the 90's?
A lady bird pram

Look through the nearest window, what do you see?
People having a party in the flats across

Who's someone you drifted from that you wish you were closer with again?
Erm...... Laura lobster

Who's the last person that you felt was stalking you?
Probably my stalker

What's your favorite breakfast food?
Bacon sandwhich

If you could get any piercing where would it be?
My tounge

If you had to live somewhere else where would it be?
Northern Ireland or Hollywood rar

What's the last four numbers of your phone number.
6172

How many hours did you sleep last night?
About 12

Where will your next car ride be to ?
My grandmas or the bookies

Your boyfriend/girlfriend leaves you for their ex, what do you do?
Put a curse on them

Last person you had a sleepover with?
Charlotte - and I swear it will be the last time ever.

Last person you held hands with?
Emma when she was helpin me outta a crowd of drunks

The tenth person in your phonebook wants to hook up, you do what?
Lol no he's gay

Last thing that really pissed you off?
That I woke up late for college

Who was the last person you yelled at?
Michelle at work - but that is nothing unusual

Who were you with Saturday night?
My adopted family and a chinese hehe

Is tomorrow going to be a good day?
Yes tomorrow will be the best day ever.

Do you trust people?
I give everyone the benifit of the doubt

What were you doing at midnight Saturday night?
sleeping cos i'm so hardcore

Who did you go to the mall with last?
Just me cos i'm the best person to go shopping with

Are you separated from any of your parents?
No lol

Enemies?
No, no enemies not today anyway

What does your 5th text message in the inbox say?
'Hey Sam, do u know we are meant to sign into classes we don't go to anymore? I have to go to a meeting about it on Thursday'

Miss someone?
Emma

What do you like to do when you're in a car?
Listen to Kelly Clarkson full blast along the motoway dancing

What are you doing tonight?
Bloody working grrrrrrr

Where's the closest hoodie to you right now?
Dunno prob hidden in 'the pile' on my floor

What do you want right now?
Someone to make my dinner and for my work to call and say the building has burned down;

Who did you last get in an argument with?
Michelle lol

What's bothering you at the moment?
That I have to get up and make dinner, that I have to work and my dreams

You just won the lottery jackpot, what do you do?
In all honesty I would probably go to Asda and buy heaps of expensive foods I never would have before - but I wouldn't tell anyone I would just carry on like normal and say oooooh I've saved up all my tips from waitressing and look at this house I managed to buy with it and this porch and I'd buy my Helena anything she wanted.

Are any of your friends cheerleaders?
Me! Give an S!

Who was the last person you texted?
Charlotte.

Would you ever dye your hair red?
I DO! All the tiem It'c ace

What did you wear today?
Well nothing until about 9 when I woke up and now it's 2.30 and I'm still in my dressing gown

When were you last on your phone?
Last night to my mum

what shoes did you wear today?
my feeties

Do you like maths?
nooooooooooooooo maths is evil

When was the last time you saw the 6th person on your top 8?
erm....... last Thursday at college

What did you do today?
Got up. Fell back asleep. Got up again, came online, watched into the west and now sitting thinking about what to do next.

Been drunk in the last week?
St Paddys

Wallpaper on your cell phone?
My sisters and my bro all dressed up at a wedding

Where was your default picture taken?
In a hotel that reminded me of the Shining

Who was your last text from?
Jane

What are you listening to?
The sound of the running buses outside and my heater

Whats the last thing someone said to you?
In person? See ya tomorrow. But right now Vanessa - ok mate speak to u later.

Who/what do you hate/dislike currently?
Getting up in the mornings, my dreams.

Who makes you happiest right now?
Everyone everyone is ace.