You ever realize when their just a moment in time... just a sudden realization...
My life has been nothing but I need her... I want her I have to have Her and all i could do is just think about was who do i go for next what possibly person can i go for next.

But ive finally realized after all this time and all this wonder and waiting and praying for the day i've finally found you...
The following pepole have influnced me the most...


Zach densmore taught me somthing today... It's ago to be different it's ok to be yourself let pepole love you for who you are.
I'm Always afriad on how pepole will react on how i act...and how can i impress this person to like me even better..I'm hardly ever myself..always being fake...always pretending...

Well im done pretending i'm going to start living my life the way i want to run it...
I have been nothing but Hiding away from everyone else... Not letting the real me express him self..

I just want to say..

Holly i love you.. you are my everything you do mean the world to me and i want to be with you My life has been so much better sense i met you.. I love you..


Zach Man thank you so much for being such a inspration to me.. You help me realize that I just need to be me that there is more than life than Letting others control you r life

Josh Thank you for everything you listen to me when hardly anyone ever does...
you are like a brother too me and i thank you for our friendship

These are the pepole i respect the most they have changed my life in ways i could never imagine..

So you can talk all you want... You might hate me for this.. you might be moved by these peice of writing... the decsion is yours...

It's

time
To
Stop
pretending....


and im just going to be...
Me....

MY life is a curse... nothing but a lie....
i cause saddness where ever i go
and its all my fult.....


Every day it's the same...putting on a happy face to
satisfy the world...when really they don't care... When
reallly your dieing inside..your soul screaming for a
life of joy and happiness..when knowing that the sad truth
it will never happen.





You love her with all your heart with the fact that you know
that you will keep her forever. But can't help thinking that
you are failing her in some way. That your not good enough
for her.. and yet she still deserves better. Each day her life
never gets better and you try to bring her hopes and dreams up
when really you are taking them down in a mess.





I am a lost soul..a lost cause... a lost hope....
I am worthlesss
I am pointlss
I am nothing,....

~jaque barr~

Somtimes i wonder if i am enough.....
just a constant worrry in her life.....
a fake....a loser....a liar..






you know what lies you keeep inside too save her from
the saddness that you already contain.....





I'm sorry if i am a failure and yet i feeel as yet as if this is alll my fult.....



i guess the only thing i can do is say... i love you