Are we all the same?
Are we all different?
Are we all the same because we are different?
Or are we all different because we are the same?

Are we all important?
Are we all insignificant?
Are we all important because we are insignificant?
Or are we all insignificant because we are important?

Are we all the same because we are important?
Are we all different because we are insignificant?
Are we all insignificant because we are the same?
Or are we all important because we are different?

"Jammy donuts are so self centred" - Ruth

"two tarts and a fudgecake!" - Mum

"while I was sitting on the toilet this morning I sneezed and out came a shit" - someone who wishes to remain anonymous

"rabbits don't lay eggs!?!" - a confused me at 7 in the morning having been up since 4

"my eyebrows keep my hair out of my eyes" - Josh

"life is full of choices - I choose to be dumb" - me

"have a balanced diet - 5 portions of chocolate and cake a day" - dad

"..........,and therefore I'm right" - Philip

"Magic!" - Amy

"this is me, can you see me? I'm a phsyco" - Natalie

"I was reading her t-shirt!" - Philip (we know what you were really doing )

"as camp as a tent" - Neil

"I can hold 3 balls in my hand, but I've only ever needed 2" - Natalie

"your a dick" - Natalie

"you've got crumpet bum" - Mum

"I want to be a tractor" - wee Andrew when asked what he wants to be when he's older

"Let us get down to business..." - Prof Osipov

"naughty functions" - Prof Osipov

"your dinner is in the microwave incase a butterfly farts in Africa" - mum's intellectual approache to chaos theory

"I want it to be floppy when it comes back out" - Josh's preference when dunking biscuits in hot choc

"can a gay man play for a women's football team?" - Ruth

"stop playing with your balls... play with me instead" - Natalie

"love is like an onion... yeah it stinks!" - Josh

"you balls are really fast!" - Natalie

"be good, and if you cant dont get caught" - Dad (the best piece of advice he ever gave me)

"how many elephants is 3 tonnes? sorry I only work in elephants not 3 bedroom semi-detached houses" - Ruth

"everyone's treating me like a mushroom" - mum

"we shall attempt world domination again...after I've had a shower" - Josh

"she treats me like the imbecile I am though" - Dad

"you're really starting to get on my tits...can't you see them flying about in rage?!" - Josh

"you know cake better than you know yourself" - Kilbirnie

"you're not good, only upper mediocre" - Kilbirnie

"this experiment is all lies!" - me

"you can never have too much lubrication" - Jill

Employ a teenager while they still know everything.

I am never wrong - once I thought I was but I was mistaken.

those of you who think you know everything - are annoying those of us who do