A lot of football success is in the mind. You must believe you are the best and then make sure that you are. In my time at Anfield we always said we had the best two teams on Merseyside, Liverpool and Liverpool reserves.

If you try that again, I'll kick the shit outta ya

If I knew I was going to a barmitzva, I would have bought my fuckin skull cap

Oh the rangers are shite

Without fans footbal is nothing

Im the Holy goalie The holy holy Goalie

I Hate Rangers And Their Fans

'I'm not the kind of guy who likes to spend his nights on bebo or myface'

When I grow up I wanna be a principal or a caterpillar

[Ralph] Miss Hoover, Miss Hoover!
[Miss Hoover] What is it Ralph?
[Ralph] My cat's name is Mittens!

I flushed a potato down the toilet, now we have to live in a hotel.

Pffffff, English, who needs that? I'm never going to England.

I should have married a businessman! Then I'd have nice things..

Doh!!

Homer: 'From now on, there are three ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way'

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

Don't worry Alan. At least you'll be able to play close to a great team (After Alan Ball signed for Everton)

He couldn't play anyway. I only wanted him for the reserve team! (When Lou Macari snubbed Liverpool to join Man Utd)

Liverpool without European football is like a banquet without wine

If Everton were playing at the bottom of the garden, I'd pull the curtains

It feels as if I have been on a permanent honeymoon since I arrived here, I am on a cloud and I feel as if with Liverpool I have found the love of my life

YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE!!!

A kid asked me on Wednesday if I would have liked to play for another team; Straight away I said Liverpool. First of all, I would have loved to play with Steven Gerrard and second I like the club and their fans. There's something about Anfield that you can't explain.I love it when you step out of the dressing-room and you see the Kop, the scarves, and
[hear people] singing You'll Never Walk Alone. Just that, that would do it for me

I'm so happy it's frightening! I'm just so chuffed - that's all I can say. Obviously since I have left, deep down I have always wanted to come back and it has been a long time but I'm glad to say I'm back now (on his return to the club)

Liverpool was made for me and I was made for Liverpool

Take that bandage off. And what do you mean about YOUR knee? It?s Liverpool?s knee!

Football is my oxygen

It is incredible because the Liverpool fans have given me so much support and I know that they have even been supporting Spain and this is something I will never forget and I thank everyone for that

How can I think of leaving Liverpool after a night like this?

What a fuckin legend

Liverpool are magic, Everton are tragic

We get the boy from sunny spain he gets the ball he scores again, fernando torres liverpools number 9

This is Anfield, they say you'll never walk alone? it's true

(when asked if Nick Barmby would become a recluse following his move from Everton to Liverpool) He has not changed his religion

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh You Beauty! What a hit son, What a hit! You would take a tap in these circumstances but what you have seen is a Champions League strike as good as anything the competition has produced in this and many a season. Well you don't need me to explain it, just watch this and let the pictures tell you everything, this is special. He didn't want to wake up on Thursday morning in the Uefa Cup and with one swing of his gifted right foot, Gerrard says Champions League Knockout stage, here we come!!!

Talk to carra, if you can understand him you can understand anyone

If you remove the English Army tomorrow and hoist the green flag over Dublin Castle., unless you set about the organization of the Socialist Republic your efforts will be in vain. England will still rule you. She would rule you through her capitalists, through her landlords, through her financiers, through the whole array of commercial and individualist institutions she has planted in this country and watered with the tears of our mothers and the blood of our martyrs?.

Well it's not real fur, it's actually made of bald eagle, and it's weather treated with a mixture of whale's skin oil and childrens tears.

'I just smoked a whole bunch of crack!!!'

Hey you know what's funny? I always thought that dogs, um, laid eggs, and I learned something today

Are you sleeping on the job? No, there's a bug in my eye and I'm trying to suffocate him.

[BOSS] 'Where do you see yourself in 5 years time' (Peter looks at boss's family photo & speaks in his head) Don't say doing your wife, don't say doing your wife (Peter finally speaks) Ummmm... doing your son

Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'
[Brian] Peter, those are Cheerios