When nemanja vidic does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

The chief export of nemanja vidic is Pain.

If you beat a team containing Nemanja Vidic in Pro Evo it will cause your PS2 to blow up.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Nemanja Vidic could use to kill you - including the room itself.

Nemanja Vidic once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For

Nemanja Vidic, each testicle is larger than the other one.

Nemanja Vidic grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

Nemanja Vidic once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. It made him blink.

Nemanja Vidic played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Nemanja Vidic puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

Nemanja Vidic hates The Beatles; two to go.

Nemanja Vidic crossed the road. Nobody has ever dared question his motives.

Nemanja Vidic died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

Nemaja Vidic once woke up in a foul mood. The result was the Yugoslav wars.

Some people get lucky and kill two birds with one stone. Vidic once killed four birds with half a stone. What's that? You say there's no such thing as half a stone? The four dead birds didn't think so either

Fergie didn't drop Darren Fletcher, Nemanja Vidic dropped Darren Fletcher.

Nemanja Vidic doesn't mark players, he permanently stamps them.

Nemanja Vidic once turned up for training late - Fergie fined the rest of the team for being early.

Nemanja Vidic doesn't head the ball away, the ball heads the other way.

Nemanja Vidic can slam revolving doors.

The 'big bang' was a Nemanja Vidic tackle

won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.

Nemanja Vidic calender goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Vidic.


Superman wears Nemanja Vidic pajamas.

...and on the seventh day Nemanja Vidic said, "I'll take it from here."

Nemanja Vidic and Superman once arm-wrestled. The loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his trousers.

Nemanja Vidic can leave a message before the beep.

Since the Asian Tsunami, Nemanja Vidic no longer farts while swimming in the Pacific Ocean...

Nemanja Vidic has counted to infinity....twice.

Nemanja Vidic lost his virginity before his father did

None of Bigfoot's friends believe him about his picture of Nemanja Vidic

Nemanja Vidic's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Jesus's bumper sticker says "WWNVD?"

When Nemanja Vidic jumps in a pool, he doesn't get wet, water gets Vidic

Nemanja Vidic sells his urine canned. It is marketed under the name "Red Bull."

Nemanja Vidic sorts his washing into three piles - Whites, Colours and Bloodstains.

Giraffes were created when Nemanja Vidic uppercutted a horse

hunger strikers


The hunger strike member's where
Bobby Sands
,Francis Hughes
,Patsy O'Hara
,Raymond Mc Creesh
,Joe Mc Donnel
,Keiran Doherty.
,Kevin Lynch
,Martin Hurson
,Tom Mc Elwee
,Micky Devine
thats them all they lasted over 50 days al of them. +R . I . P+

Founded: 1878
Turned Professionel: 1885
Limited Company: 1907
Former Names: 1878-1880 Newton Heath LYR
1880-1902 Newton Heath
Nickname: Red Devils
Stadium: Old Trafford
Capacity: 76,000
Pitch Size: 116 yards x 76 yards
Address: Manchester United Football Club,Old Trafford,Sir Matt Busby Way,Manchester M16 ORA,England.
Sponsors:Nike,AIG,Budweiser,Air Asia,Audi,Century fm
Chairman:Sir Roy Gardner
Chief Executive: David Gill
Manager: Sir Alex Ferguson
Assistant Manager: Carlos Queiroz