The following Sunday after Russ suddenly left us. I was sitting in Church listening to our Preacher talk about Russ. "He said even though Russ took his own life. It still does not give us right to judge him. He said only God knows what he was going through and we still need to pray for Him.

As I was praying I asked God for his blessing on him and guide him through. I turned the page on the hymn book and this is the hymn I came across.

Lead, kindly Light, amid the encircling gloom,
Lead thou me on:
The night is dark, and I am far from home,
Lead thou me on;
Keep thou my feet, I do not ask to see,
The distant scene; one step enough for me.

I was not ever thus, nor prayed that thou
Should lead me on;
I love to choose and see my path; but now
Lead thou me on.
I love the garish day, and spite my fear!
Pride rules my will;
remember not past years.

So long thy power hath blessed me, sure it still
Will lead me on,
O'er moor and fen, o'er crag and torrent, till
The night is gone;
And with the morn those angel faces smile
Which I have loved long since, and lost awhile.

Later that night I went to bed and turn a page to my daily bread booklet. I turned to a page that read "Blessed are the poor in Spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. There was a message in this story that read "Nobody knows the trouble I've seen, nobody but Jesus." Over time I have learned to respect, and even long for the future rewards Jesus has promised.

Let me go for earth's fond pleasures
Soon will vanish and decay;
But the soul has richer treasures
Shining bright as cloudless day.

Dark trials will be rewarded by bright crown.

Dedicated to you Russ....missing you!

These past few days has been so hard. We all have mixed feelings as to why Russ took his own life. No one in particular to blame or blame themselves for what has happened, but each one of us can learn from such a tradegy. We need to recognize that our Creator is talking to us and letting us know that each one of us has to make changes for the better.

The following is a letter that I had written before all this tradegy took place and planned to read at our next Chief & Band Council meeting which was supposed to take place last Monday. But the meeting was post-poned to another day. Not because of neglect, but due to Health issues.

As a concern community member there are some things I notice in this Communuty that can be prevented, if only each one of us took the time to recognize them. "Everyone must submit herself/himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. He who rebels against authority is rebelling against what God has institued, and those who do so will bring judgement on themselves."

Therefore, a sign of danger to death should not be ignored, let us not sit back and watch it happen by passing judgement on others...and say "their parents are probably doing this and that. That is why this child or person is like this". I have heard these words so many times. For instance, our Mom was one that has not touched alcohol in her lifetime and, yet all of brothers and sisters have tried it some time or another. Both our mom & dad never did drugs and yet, some us family members have. Our parents had rules for us to follow, but there comes a time in age, when we as youth turn rebellious toward our parents. Therefore, let us take time to help one another and be parents of all children not just our own.

To make our Community a safe living environment to live in. Let us take the time to report into the Police Station, any kind of abuse, whether it be physical abuse, sexual abuse, or verbal abuse. And when someone is drinking and driving, whether it be a family member, or a friend of ours. Consider the what if this person flips over? or what if hits someone on the road? This person can go to jail for a long time or this person can kill one of our members or even their own family member. Do not consider the useless talk of what if the Police don't do anything? What if this person jumps on me, turns against me, destroys my property? etc. If you see a minor drinking or doing something daring take the time to call the parents, other family members or report it to the Police. We all know the legal age in Quebec to be able to consume alcohol is 18. Why should we let our community members ignore this law? Again consider the What if?

We are all human and are entitled to mistakes, do not be offended when someone corrects you. If we know of someone, whether it be a child, youth, parent, or even Leaders that have authority over us make a mistake take the time to confront them and let them know of their mistake. Rather than saying mean hurtful words about that person. I notice as a human being this is one of my weaknesses that I need to strengthen.

As First Nation's people we have all learned from our parents that it is better to confront others that critize their disutable matters. I am certain all of us heard this saying "do not critize others unless you have walked a mile in their shoes. "Again this was taken from the Word of God from our parents, grandparents and others. We should never underestimate the other. Each one of has weaknesses and strengths and there is no one better that the other.

There comes a time in everyone's life when we become really upset of what has happened, especially if it is to one or two of our family members. You feel the urge to step in and take sides. This is when this human desire to hurt others takes over. Useless talk comes out of our mouth that show disrepect to others, or even to to the point to do so

Since the passing of my Baba on September 18, 2005. I have had a different outlook on life. A few days before his passing, he told me the most important thing in life is God and His Word.

As I look back to the kind of life, he has lived I know from my heart. He lived by the Word of God as he showed repentence of foolish ways he lived his life. He made changes in his life to the good to be a good parent and desire only the best for his children, grandchildren & jabans.

You see our Baba never knew how to read the Bible, but listening to my Mama reading it in Cree helped him alot. He knew how to change his ways, pray and ask forgiveness for his sins.

We are all children of God, therefore let us not put things in our growing bodies to destroy our being. Let us walk in a healthy Spirit by loving, forgiving, helping, sharing, etc. Do you feel you could never be close to God because you have something terrible? God can and will forgive you of any sin.

There is another verse that follows this saying Key bible verse: "If your forgive anyone's sins, they are forgiven. If you refuse to forgive them, they are unforgiven". John 20:23

NEVER LET GO OF YOUR FAITH ON THE ONE WHO LOVES US. He loves unconditionally and will forgive us whenever we ask for it.

It is our Father's amazing plan to offer us eternal life and happiness through faith in His son Jesus Christ.

Salvation is God's plan to provide all people with an escape from sin and death. The Bible reveals this plan.

Never underestimate yourself...we are all important to God. If you have changed one thing to the good...it's a good start... Be thankful to God!

WE ARE ALL HIS CHILDREN! HE CAN NOURISH OUR GROWING BODIES, MINDS & SPIRITS IF WE LET HIM.