1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better." This will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.

2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. If she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really, really hard until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.

3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed up.

4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is, say "you better be." Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care.

5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every girl needs some improvement.

6. Recognize the small things; they usually mean the most. Then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. Because jewelry is for pussies and Asian ladies.

7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. When she is, stare into her eyes, mouth the words 'fuck you,' and grab the other girl's ass. Girls love competition.

8. Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard. When she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because I can."

9. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick". Women love those special nicknames.

10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.

11. Warm her up when she's cold... but not by giving her your jacket, because then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say, "If you don't stop bitching about the cold right now, you're going to be bitching about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear.

12. Take her to a party. When you get there she'll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the party's dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.

13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. Why shouldn't girls?

14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! Repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things. Like basketball.

15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.

16. If you care about her, never ever tell her. This will only give her self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.

17. Every time you're in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way she'll go crazy.

18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she's about to order interrupt and say "No, she's not hungry". Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.

19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then clock her one. Girls love a spontaneous guy.

20. Give her one of your t-shirts... and make sure it has your smell on it. But not a sexy cologne smell. A bad smell. You know what I'm talking about.

22. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she'll think you're mysterious.

23. Remember her birthday, but don't get her anything. Teach her material objects aren't important. The only thing that's important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get

REMEMBER WHEN...getting high meant swinging on the playground...when protection meant wearing a helmet..when the worst thing you could get from boys were koties and the worst thing you could get from girls was a cold. Mum was your hero and there was no place higher than dads shoulders. Your worst enemies were your siblings...Race issues were about who ran the fastest...war was only a card game...the only drug you knew was cough medicine... wearing a skirt didnt make you a slut... the only thing you smoked were the tyres on your bike...the only thing that could hurt you were skinned knees...the only thing that could be broken were your toys and goodbye only meant untill tomorrow.
Life was so simple and carefree....What i remember most was wanting to grow up and now all i want is to be a kid again!!

A - You like to drink.
N - You are absolutely beautiful.
T - You're loyal to those you love.
H - You have a very good personality and looks.
O - You are one of the best in bed.
N - You are absolutely beautiful.
Y - One of the best bfs/gfs anyone could ask for.

J - Fantastic in bed.
O - You are one of the best in bed.
N - You are absolutely beautiful.
E - Damn good kisser.
S - Easy to fall in love with.

A- You like to drink.
B- You like people.
C- You're wild and crazy.
D- You have one of the best personalities ever.
F- People adore you.
E- Damn good kisser.
G- You never let people tell you what to do.
H- You have a very good personality and looks.
I- You have a fine ass
J- Fantastic in bed
K- You are really silly.
L- You live to have fun.
M- Success comes easily to you.
N- You are absolutely beautiful.
O- You are one of the best in bed.
P- You are popular with all types of people.
Q- You are a hypocrite.
R- Fuckin sexy.
S- Easy to fall in love with.
T- You're loyal to those you love.
U- You really like to chill.
V- You are not judgemental.
W- You are very broad minded.
X- You never let people tell you what to do.
Y- One of the best bfs/gfs anyone could ask for.
Z- Always ready.