WHEN WE GIRLS DRINK TOO MUCH............

1. We have absolutely no idea where our purse is.. and for some reason, that's ok.

2. We believe that dancing with our arms overhead and wiggling our butts while yelling "WOO-HOO" is truly the sexiest dance move around.

3. We've suddenly decided that we want to kick someone's ass and honestly believe we could do it too.

4. In our last trip to pee, we realize that we now look more like a homeless hooker than the goddess we started out at just 4 hours ago.

5. We drop our 3am submarine sandwich/pizza slice on
the floor, pick it up and continue eating it like its nobody's business.

6.We start crying and declare to everyone we see, including people we barely know, that we love them SOOOO MUCH.

7. We get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new song comes on because "OH MY GOD, I LOVE THIS SONG!"

8. We're suddenly full of profound spiritual wisdom... and
>so is the geek next to us.

9. We don't see anything wrong with making out with >profs/co-workers/boss should they be around

10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, get up on the table or bar and start to sing or dance becomes strangely overwhelming to us.

11. Our eyes just won't seem to stay open by themselves, so we keep them half closed and think it looks incredibly sexy.

12. We've suddenly taken up smoking and we believe we're really good at it

13. We yell at the bartender who we believe has cheated us by giving us just orange juice, but that's just because we can no longer taste the vodka.

14. We think we are in bed, but our pillow feels strangely like the floor.. or like the mop.

15. We start every conversation with a slurred "Don't take this the wrong way but..."

16. We fail to notice that the toilet lid is down before we sit on it.

17. Our hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.

18. We are tired, but we are troopers so instead of going home, we just sit on the floor wherever we are standing and take a quick nap.

19. We begin leaving the buttons open on our button fly jeans to cut down on the time we're in the bathroom away from our drink.

20. We take our shoes off because a) they're ridiculously impractical... but soo beautiful! b) We believe it's the shoes' fault that we can't walk straight.

21. No matter what got broken, thrown up on, stolen, no matter who said what or who went home with whoever else - we ALWAYS call each other the next day

The weekend has landed, All that exists now is clubs, drugs, pubs and parties. I've got 48 hours off from the world man. I'm gonna blow steam out of my head like a screaming kettle. I'm gonna talk shite to strangers all night. I'm gonna lose the plot on the dancefloor, the free radicals inside me are freaking, man! Tonight i'm Jip Travolta, I'm Peter Popper, I'm going to never never land with my chosen family man. We're going to get more spaced out than Neil Armstrong ever did. Anything could happen tonight, you know? This could be the best nite of my life! ive got 73 quid in the backburner and im gonna blow the lot mate!!