There's a hundred years of history
and a hundred before that
All gathered in the thinkin'
Goin' on beneath this hat.


The cold flame burns within him
'Til his skin's as cold as ice
And the dues he paid to get here
Are worth every sacrifice.


All the miles spend sleepy drivin'
All the money down the drain'
All the 'if I's' and 'nearly's,'
All the bandages and pain,


All the femail tears left dryin'
All the fever and the fight
Are just a small down payment
On the ride he makes tonight.


It's guts and love and glory,
One mortal's chance at fame.
His legacy is rodeo
And cowboy is his name.


By
NICK JORAMO

Poor Jack
>>
>>After a night of drinking, Jack crept into bed beside his wife Ann
>>who was already asleep. He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell
>>asleep. When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of
>>his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. "Who the hell are you?"
>>demanded Jack, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?"
>>
>>
>>The mysterious man answered, "This isn't your bedroom. I'm St.
>>Peter."
>>
>>Jack was stunned, "You mean I'm dead! That can't be! I have so much
>>left to do. I haven't even had a chance to say goodbye to my
>>family. You've got to send me back right away."
>>
>>St Peter replied, "Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a
>>catch--we can only send you back as a dog or a hen."
>>
>>Jack was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his
>>house he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later and
>>he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the
>>ground.
>>
>>"This ain't so bad," he thought until he felt this strange feeling
>>welling up inside him.
>>
>>The farmyard rooster strolled over and said, "So you're the new
>>hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?"
>>
>>"It's not so bad," replies Jack, "but I have this strange feeling
>>inside like I'm about to explode."
>>
>>"You're ovulating," explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've
>>never laid an egg before."
>>
>>"Never," replied Jack.
>>
>>
>>"Well just relax and let it happen."
>>
>>And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds an egg popped
>>out. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions
>>got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first
>>time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was
>>overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the
>>best thing that had ever happened to him!
>>
>>
>>The joy kept coming, and as he was just about to lay his third egg
>>he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his
>>wife shouting, "Jack, wake up you drunken bastard! You're shitting
>>all over the bed."
>>
>>
>>