what a legend, thanks Anthony (I'm just being lazy!)
Oh no! If Marge marries Arty, I'll never be born!

Marge: Lisa, welcome to love. It hurts. I love a guy so much, it hurts. Homer: WHO IS HEEEEEEEE?

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achille's heel, if you will.

Ah, the college roadtrip. What better way to spread beer-fueled mayhem?

All right, brain. You don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.

All right, let's not panic. I'll make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one.

America's health care system is second only to Japan... Canada, Sweden, Great Britain... well, all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!

And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless.

Awww, 20 dollars?!? I wanted a peanut.

Bart, a woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one!

Bart, you're saying butt-kisser like it's a bad thing!

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.

Black, marbelized with a liquid center. The Stealth Bowler. The pins don't know what hit 'em.

Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You

Dear Homer, IOU one emergency donut. Signed Homer. Bastard! He's always one step ahead.

Do I know what rhetorical means?

Do you want to change your name to Homer Jr.? The kids can call you Hoju!

Does whisky count as beer?

D'oh!

Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them.

Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow! Well, good night.

Don't mess with the dead, boy, they have eerie powers.

Don't worry, son. I'm sure he's up in heaven right now laughing it up with all the other celebrities: John Dilinger, Ty Cobb, Joseph Stalin.

Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?

Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!

First you don't want me to get the pony, then you want me to take it back. Make up your mind.

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

God bless those pagans.

Good drink... good meat... good God, let's eat!

Ha ha! Look at this country! ?You are gay!? Ha ha! (The country is Uraguay)

Heh Heh Heh! Lisa! Vampires are make believe, just like elves and gremlins and eskimos!

Here's to alcohol: The source of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

Hey, I asked for ketchup! I'm eatin' salad here!

I am so smart, I am so smart, s-m-r-t... I mean s-m-A-r-t.

I bet Einstein turned himself all sorts of colours before he invented the light bulb.

I can't believe it! Reading and writing actually paid off!

I don't want to go, so if he asks me to go, I'll just say, 'Yes!'

I guess you might say he barking up the wrong...bush.

I hope I didn't brain my damage.

I know what you're saying, Bart. When I was young, I wanted an electric football machine more than anything else in the world, and my parents bought it for me, and it was the happiest day of my life. Well, goodnight.

I know you can read my thoughts, boy: Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow.

I like my beer cold...my TV loud...and my homosexuals flaming.

I promised my boy one simple thing: lots of riches, and that man broke my promise!

I saw this movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode! I think it was called, 'The Bus That couldn't Slow Down.'

I think the saddest day of my life was when I realized I could beat