1) grainne walkin n2 2 green bins.

2)louise whilst wearin a sling got tripped up n da seatbelt of elaine's car nd fell flat on er face nd just managed ta miss da dog shit

3)louise fallin up arlene's stairs

4)louise slidin dwn da stairs n da brewery........hence da sling

5)me fallin dwn da steps (only 3) in envy thanks ta ailish collins

6)louise fell dwn da steps n da clarance nd managed ta pull dwn sum fella's trousers...bita sex

7)me nearly being throwin ot of da clarance twice robbin drink 4 kieran mc (well der woz no1 behind da bar soo wot else woz i ment ta do???)

me pretendin ta throw an umbrella sat wayne but nearly hits a car instead. oooops

9) wayne fallin asleep in arlene's hallway

10) grainne gettin sick n2 a saucepan... a fiver falls n2 da pan nd gud oul grainne tries ta pick it up but only makes it worst.....lets just say da fiver woz neva used again....r woz it???

11)louise not gettin n2 da brewery da nyt of my bday...woz 2 drunk...woz ome n bed at haf 9!

12)me nd grainne n leitrim 4 a whole of 10 mins b4 dey ad ta leave... too drunk.....n bed at 10...best nyt eva :

13)me nd granny gettin lost......pity arlene nd louise didnt check where we actually live....god der sooo blond

14)me nd louise chatin up da bouncer n da leitrim......louise tinks es gud lukin.....i've got pics

15)louise doen a line of curry on da kitchen table....poor oul fool thought it woz coke....god did it burn er nose......lng story but wot a nyt

16)me, louise,arlene md ranny n mc donalds talkin bout talkin yokes nd dis oul rag turns round nd give us such evils.........da craic woz had

17)elaine cumin up wit da beatest idea eva...........givin arlene a hickey......true story

1 arlene puttin er huddy on bk ta front otside envy.......bouncers just laughed.....soo did we

19)louise nd sheila fallin asleep in da bk of a taxi........poor oul taxi man ad ta wake da pair up.....da 2 of dem high on yokes

20)lisa goes missin nd woz l8r found asleep against da door of er hse n glencarrick.....now dats wot i call a drunkin mess

21)me, louise,nd sheila still drunk 4m da nyt b4 still managed ta get 75% in chem test.........rock on

22)kieran mc shaven nialls hair.....mwah haha ha.......da craic woz had

23)liane spillin vodka on me gud oul camera...needless ta say it didnt survive......got a new 1 da louise bounced it off da ground.....thankfully it survived

24)me, granny, liane nd marina drivin round twn wit a dolls head stuck ot da sunroof.........da luks we were gettin but woz such craic

25)marin gettin stuck n mine nd grannys lawn.....2 fells ad ta cum nd push er ot.....oh da shame

26) kieran mc comin ome 4m envy 1 nyt nd wen asked where chuckie woz da reply we got...e's n a taxi FAR FAR AWAY

27) ailish nd ashlind gettin stranded in da feild between glencarrick nd ard nua....gud times

2 granny grainne bein rushed ta A&E afta fallin dwn da steps n envy 1 nyt

29) louise gettin kicked in da face whilst dancin by sum dirty dyin tinker n envy 1 nyt...bad buzz

30)keiran mc jumpin on top of granny 1 nyt.......she's scared 4 life

31) me, elaine nd squires bein brought ome by da guards 1 nyt........it sounds wat worse dan it actually woz wot a laugh we ad....

32)grainne throwin a bag of rubbish n 1 of da big big bins n yeats nd manages ta fall n erself oooooooh da craic woz ad.....i woz weak

33) me throwin shoes at louise's window tryin ta wake er up......jesus shes a hard 1 ta wake up

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The Alco's Prayer

The alco's prayer



We believe in one drink, Guinness the
almighty
Makers of cans and bottles
Of all that is drunk and un-drunk
We believe in one brewer, Arthur
The only son of Guinness
Eternally begotten of the hops
Hops from hops, barley from barley
True drink from true drink
Begotten not made
Of one distillery of the Father
Through it all things were made
For us men and our salvation
It comes down from St. James Gate
By the power of the market he became
incarnate
And was made a rich man
For our sake we are crucified under
Pontious Prices
Bad pints, suffer hangovers and A.A.
meetings
On the next day we rise again in
accordance
With our scruples and ascend into oblivion
We come again to judge the living and the
dead
We believe in one alcoholic beverage

Brewed and bottled under one licence
We acknowledge one Arthur, son of the
almighty pint
Conceived in heaven and sold on earth
Blessed is the one drink through one
father and many sons
Sold under one label and distributed
throughout the world
We look for the resurrection of new drinks
And a cure for hangovers.
Amen

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