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- Me, Myself, and I
- afta the win at Hyde park
SUMTINS RONG WIT MY EMAIL SO CANT LEAVE COMMENTS R NETIN
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4 da Corinthians u13's who r legends............
A little bit of burnzey n our lives,
A little bit of Darragh down da sides,
A little bit of Cian jus wat we need,
A little bit of Josh wit hes speed,
A little bit of of Healy n defence,
A little bit of Richie hes immense,
A little bit of singin from da fans,
A little bit of Fintan he's da man,
A little bit of Horgan hes pure class,
A little bit of cubby he'll kic
- Hurling, Football nd soccer
- Shawshank redemption, Shindlers list, Snatch n Borat off the top of my head nd prob few others too
- rap nd dance nd watever else
- Happiest When
- Playing Sport
HOLLY -- e.g. "I gave it holly"---I put a fair bit of effort into it.
B0LLIX----Pat Spillane or any kerry players or supporters
HAMES---A right **** e-e.g.-"He made a hames of that chance"
TIMBER---Intimidation of a hurling opponent - e.g.- "Show him some timber"
LAMP----A good thump---e.g.-"I swung for the sliotar, missed by 3 feet and lamped the full back"
A CROWD---A gathering of people who watch a match and hope for random acts
of violence -e.g-Meath supporters
SCHKELP---To remove living tissue in the absence of surgical procedures -- e.g. "That whore from Tipp took a schkelp outta me leg"
HATCHET MAN---Mountainy type, uses hunter/gatherer instincts
BULLIN'---Angry-e.g-"The centre half was bullin' after I lamped him"
BULL THICK---Very angry-e.g.-"The centre half was bull thick after I lamped him again"
JOULT---A push-e.g.-"I gave him ! a joult and he has to wear a neck brace for 2 weeks"
THE COMM-A-TEEE---Local GAA bullshitters in general
BUSHTED---An undefined soreness-e.g.-"Jayz me arm is bushted"
THE BOMBER---Popular name for a fat hairy GAA player
A HANG SANGWIDGE---Consumed with "tay" on the sides of roads after matches in Croker or Thurles, usually contains half a pound of butter
RAKE-A great amount of anything, usually pints of Guinness the night before an important match
INDANAMAJAYSUS (in-da-nama-Jaysus)--! -What was that for referee?
YA B0LLIX YA---Corner back's formal recognition of a score by his opponent
LEH-IT-IN-TA-FUCK-WUD-YA---Full forwards appeal to a midfielder for a more timely delivery of the pass
MULLOCKER---Untidy or awkward player released for matches
BURST THE B0LLIX---Instructions from the sideline to tackle your man
ROW---Disagreement involving four or more players
MASSIVE ROW---Disagreement involving both teams, including goalies, substitutes and supporters jumping fences
ALL-HELL-BROKE-LOOSE---A massive row that continues out in the parking area or
dressing room areas, usually resolved by the Gardai
1 Comment 343 weeks
NORTHSIDE LEAVING CERT
MATHS TEST FOR SECONDARY SCHOOLS
IN THE NORTHSIDE OF DUBLIN
GANG NAME ____________________
1. Deco has 0.5 kilos of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to Vinno for 300 Euro and 90 grams to Tomo for 90 Euro a gram, what is the street value of the rest of his hold?
2. Anto pimps 3 brassers. If the price is 40 Euro a royde, how many roydes per day must each brasser perform to support Vinno's 500 Euro a day crack habit?
3. Whacker wants to cut the kilo of cocaine he bought for 7,000 Euro, to make a 20% profit. How many grams of strychnine will he need?
4. Christy got 6 years for murder. He also got €350,000 for the hit. If his common law wife spends €33,100 per month, how much money will be left when he gets out of the 'Joy?
Extra Credit Bonus: How much more time will Christy get for killing the slapper that spent his money?
5. If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square metres and the average letter is 1 square metre, how many letters can be sprayed with an eight fluid ounce can of spray paint with 20% extra paint free?
6. Liamo steals Eamo's skateboard. As Liamo skates away at a speed of 35 mph, Eamo loads his brother’s Armalite. If it takes Eamo 20 seconds to load the gun, how far will Liamo have travelled when he gets whacked?
SOUTH SIDE LEAVING CERT
MATHS TEST FOR SECONDARY SCHOOLS
IN THE SOUTHSIDE OF DUBLIN
_________________(if longer, please continue on a separate sheet)
1. Julian smashes up the old man's car, causing x amount of damage and killing three people. The old man asks his local TD to intervene in the court system, then forges his insurance claim and receives a payment of y. The difference between x and y is three times the life insurance settlement for the three dead people. What kind of car is Julian driving now?
2. Chloe's personal shopper decides to substitute generic and own-brand products for the designer goods favoured by her employer. In the course of a month she saves the price of a return ticket to Fiji and Chloe doesn't even notice the difference. Is she thick or what?
3. Roly fancies the arse off a certain number of tarts, but he only has enough Rohypnol left to render 33.3% unconscious. If he has 14 Rohypnol, how is he ever going to shag the other two-thirds?
4. If Savannah throws up four times a day for a week she can fit a size 8 Versace. If she only throws up three times a day for two weeks, she has to make do with a size 10 Dolce et Gabbano. How much does liposuction cost?
5. Alexander is unsure about his sexuality. Three days a week he fancies women. On the other days he fancies men, ducks and vacuum cleaners. However he only has access to the Hoover every third week. When does his Sunday Independent column start?
COUNTRY LEAVING CERT
MATHS TEST FOR SECONDARY SCHOOLS
Name: Paddy/Mary _________________________
1. If Paddy Joe Murphy drove a Massey Ferguson through PaddyJohn’s turnip crop at 10miles an hour. What colour was Paddy John’s tractor?
2. If John Joe likes Mary and Mary likes Paddy, how much is a pint of stout in O'Brien’s at the crossroads?
3. Paddy Joe Mahoney has 25 sheep, 10 cows, 12 hens, a cockerel and 6 geese. John Joe has 12 sheep, 18 cows and 12 pigs. How much does Paddy Joe offer to John Joe for a dowry for Mary?
4. If it takes Sarah Jane 40 minutes to cycle 12 miles to O'Brien’s on the crossroads for the ceilidh and it takes Mary Murphy 40 minutes to walk 2 miles to O'Brien’s, which girl will
1 Comment 346 weeks
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