I wonder what happens on the 10th of August each year that EVERYONE seems to forget! For all you assholes who forget yet again... rot in hell!

1. You are as effective as a linear geometry based upon the Maginot Line.

2. Were giraffe's antennae to sprout from your barnacled elbows, one could but weep for the pretense of a fallen chamber pot.

3. You are the swordfish that will never shower.

4. The Green Paint on the Walls Clouds my Thoughts of Flying Planks of Wood, Much An ocean-going tin of crosseyed mussels could never match the melodious burblings of your sister's husband.

5. Your timeless negligence has a way of arousing my palliative inuendo.

6. Softly seething, surreal breathing..
Ignite the cannon with sphagnum lanthum..
Laud the armies of diphthongs with your superannuating Diphtheria..
And I will ever be your combustive tablature of igneous geometries.

7. You are as dazzling as a pregnant cow attired in electrical sockets.

8. What beautiful negligence you wear!

9. Your pendulous thorax makes cellists envious of the rotund sounds emanating from your nose in D minor.

10. Legions of Communists worship your robust cannabalism of Capitalists clad in junk mail suits.

11. May your shit always sport dog on the bottom of your shoe.

12. Your beautiful bulgarian bricks stack like the thousand eyes of Estonian potatos, peering amid fuzzy dreams of corrugated cardboard.

13. ENGINEER YOUR AUNT! Do it! You will be grateful for having done so. Yolutsky promises to cease diddling with your ears.

14. Sir, you've broken your water.... may I get you a new glass?

15. 'Lo, EUREKA,' I yelled into the cat, 'Thou art truly laborious and divergent. My nose bleeds for your impending encounter with the front fender of a Mercedes Benz.'

16. Sound barricades itself into rolls of peautbutter when you speak.

17. Tribes of primitve hunters, with rhinestone codpieces rampant, should build pyramids of Chevy engines covered in butterscotch syrup to exalt the diastolic, inef fable, scintillated and cacophonous salamander of truth which slimes and distracts from each and every orifice of your holy refrigerator, Sears be its brand.

18. Your eyes flash upon my cathode ray flesh in a manner that propels my viscera into an eternal state of turgid flux.

19. Come, let me gnaw your fingernails that I may absorb and lose myself in the wise and gritty detritus that is you.

20. Woe is me, for I must forever more huddle, unminded, in the dark shadow of thine undeserved engine of procreation.

21. Your dashingly colored toupee twists my right boot into a state of ennui with the speed and dexterity of many lemon meringue-coated conquistadors.

22. Your eyes show as many deep and full shades of blue as a healing bruise upon an injured forelimb.

23. Your mother once had eyes that shone like the legs of Mae West.

24. If you were a camel your humps would be esoterically bald from overuse.

25. Dustmites the world over love you for your feet.

The party scene...
It's reality's dream,
Often unseen,
It's my favorite thing.

Jumping forward
Into this crowd.
Falling Forever,
In this row.

Unoriginal this might seem,
The same thing repeated,
With a different theme
But I am happy dreaming.