If you wake up in the morning, it's because jamie hargreaves spared your life.

Jamies calendar goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools jamie.

Jamie once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

Superman wears jamie hargreaves pyjamas.

It's no use crying over spilt milk... Unless that was jamies milk. Oh you are so screwed.

Jamie doesn't get morning wood. He gets morning steel. Stainless steel.

If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but jamie says its beef. Then it's fucking beef.

Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because jamie does not feel like carrying you.

Jamie played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won. Jamie once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.

Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that jamie is, in fact, still alive.

Jamie hargreaves is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.

Drive-Thru's are open for 24 hours because if jamie wants a burger, goddamnit jamie gets a burger.

Jamie removed the "Escape" button from his keyboard. Jamie never needs to escape.

Jamiedoesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

Killing jamie haregreaves doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.

When Google can't find something, it asks jamie hargreaves for help.

When jamie was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.

Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jamie laughs at Superman for having a weakness.

Jamies favourite colour is severe terror alert red. His second favourite colour is violet, only because it sounds like violent.

When you open a can of whoop-ass, jamie hargreaves jumps out.

If Jamie misspells a word, your dictionary is wrong.

When Jamie asks for your help, he's not asking.

Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took jamie less than an hour. And he's done it twice.

When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for jamie hargreaves.

When jamie goes to the airport and the metal detector doesn't go off, security gives him a gun.

Men are ok with their wives fantasizing about jamie during sex; because they are doing the same thing.

There are no such thing as lesbians, just women who never met jamie hargreaves.

Guns dont kill people, Jamie does.

Jamie Hargreaves was conceived by torturing the other sperm until they gave up the location of the egg.

In kindergarten, jamie killed a terrorist for Show and Tell.

What colour is jamie hargreaves blood? Trick question. jamie hargreaves does not bleed.

This vile beast who goes by the name james sutherland aka Fester is leaving his sick vile fantasies all over my page so if u happen to read any of them it all came from his sick little head so feel free to click on his profile and tell him exactly wot a vile mink he is ok thanks.