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- Me, Myself, and I
- <<<<< So out of the manor it was untrue.
"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed"
- The Other Half Of Me
Sydney - tick, Aberdeen - tick, London - tick.....
- Funky House, Electro House, Trance, Indie
- American Pie, Napolean Dynermite, The Shawshank Redemption, The Departed
- Football, Cricket, Pool....
- I dislike
- Anyone or thing that puts me in a bad mood, this can include non-alcoholic Beer and knat bites.
- Happiest When
- Having a drink in my hands, With my mates, Not working and most of all when living in Australia and getting on it everyday without a care in the world. I can also be found with a smile on my face when visiting a place called Sounds on Sunday.
- Best Places I've Visited
- Thailand (Phi Phi, Ko Samui, Ko Phang Nang) Australia (everywhere but most of all Coogee), Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia.....
- I most like
- All my friends, Gingsters Pasties, Getting drunk, Staying up all night doof doofing with Kevin.
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A pleasant walk on a sunny summers afternoon,
In the summer time when things are at bloom,
The birds cherp, collecting pollen are the bees,
But what’s this? A garden full of lemon trees,
They look delicious, succulent and smooth,
I need to steal one but when will I make my move?
But i remember what my mother once taught,
About the repercussions if I were caught,
I’ll be quick, no one will know I’m there,
Like that time I stole a nice ripe pear,
So I jump the fence, take one and leave the rest,
I bite into it hard so it dribbles down my chest,
But I have been caught, someone is there,
Coming towards me with a menacing stare,
They say ‘Put that lemon back you don’t make the grade’
I say ‘Ok but can I have a glass of pin lemonade?’
‘No you can not, Lemons are meant to be yellow and true’
‘Wait there while I call the boys in blue’
‘Please Don’t’ I shout, can I make it up to you some how?
So he whips out his cock and makes me give it a chow,
I have no choice as I am in the wrong,
So I open my mouth and suck his hard dong,
This punishment seemed like a dream but it was real,
All I was thinking about was fresh lemon peel,
I wanted to hold it and give it a sniff,
Then wash my hair with fresh lemon jiff,
Only lemons were now on my mind,
As I was being taken from behind,
How could I stop thinking of this precious fruit?
Maybe if I stopped receiving a root?
I was asked If I deserved this lemon that I stole,
I said ‘no’ I’m now under your control,
Please let me stay and be your slave,
As long as you supply me with the one thing I crave,
Its not, money, drugs, sex or porn,
It’s a fruit the same colour as sweetcorn,
It is called ‘The Lemon’ not the lime,
To love and deserve it is no crime,
It sends me crazy and weak at the knees,
Let me stay and be your lemon bitch… Please
1 Comment 330 weeks
A drink or two?
Well of course we're not mugs,
Especially when it's 5 dollar jugs,
We sat there like kings with our chalice,
Getting pissed again at the Palace,
But we're not kings, we have no crown,
It's no banquet, just a night on the town,
A school night as well we said we'd never,
But you know what happens when we get together,
We don't believe in a sociable drink,
we just keep going till we're on the brink,
We decided to leave, we wanted no more,
Why is there a seagull on the floor?
I pick it up to have some fun,
But where's Laura? She's already on the run,
Sarah didn't move she wasn't ready,
She thought that I was cuddling a teddy,
Suddenly Laura wasn't so chummy,
But at least Kev thought it was funny,
So another night comes to an end,
Were we drunk? I can't pretend,
Does fate play a part in putting people together?
I think so cause I'm gonna love these guys forever!
0 Comments 342 weeks
I went to an Island called Phi Phi,
To see what I could see,
I didn't realise how much fun it would be,
In the boiling heat,
We met 2 girls from across the street,
We hit it off, good friends I could tell,
Probably because they were drunks as well,
They were from Ireland, but not the IRA,
I asked where's Jerry, they couldn't say,
So we had a drink and the dice came out,
They soon realised what 3 man was about,
But it wasn't ships passing in the night,
They followed us round Asia, What a fright!
We went on a relaxing boat trip to The Beach,
That at one point we didn't think we'd reach,
As the boat rocked and the waves crashed in,
I looked at Laura for a grin,
I couldn't see a grin, only a tear,
The girls face looked in total fear,
We finally got there and went for a swim,
but for some reason Laura didn't get in,
She sat on the beach and asked for a drink,
She was still thinking the boat would sink!
We'd get up in the morning and go for something to eat,
We go to Little Britain, Oh what a treat,
I looked at Sarah and saw a frown,
She's dismayed at no Hash Brown,
She's actually looking quite sick,
Better get her some liquids quick,
2 coffees, 1 orange, 3 waters does the trick,
Now we're off down the street,
Quickly Skedaddling on our feet,
But I've lost the girls, what a git,
Oh there they are at a stall buying some more shit!
We now wait around, until it's time,
Is it gonna be 7, 8 or 9?
That we open the first beer,
And shed the first tear,
Cause the laughs are gonna start flowing,
We're in our own heaven, we're all glowing,
7 Changs down we're all flying,
Lets listen to that song again, Superstyling!
Lets now go to the beach and get more drink,
Another large Chang me think,
Everyones drunk and everyones raving,
But why's Sarah on the bit of wood waving?
Life and soul of the party is what we bring,
Now lets have a go on that swing,
The nights at an end and its morning,
But we're all in the sea and not yawning,
Who knows where we'll wake?
I've slept in my clothes again for God's sake!
Sarah bought me a shirt to keep me cool,
Or that's what I thought, oh what a fool,
I had to wear it for a bet,
I've never seen so much sweat,
As I got wetter, things didn't get better,
As I also had a lady's bag,
Making me look like a fag,
But we all looked like a fool,
Even though we thought we were cool,
We got on the boat, this time with no fear,
Shouting to everyone and all 'Happy New Year'!
We arrived in Patong,
All looking quite wrong,
For a night on the town,
Acting like a clown,
We went down the streets,
Buying all kinds of treats,
Hats, flowers and a mask,
I think we had completed our task,
Also a dog that looked like a boy,
But treat him well as he's not a toy,
Oh what a time we'd had in the sun,
But always beware of the poo gun!
Off to Bangkok, the city of sin,
Just throw it on the floor they don't use a bin,
We needed more drink, we wanted more,
We weren't concerned about the war,
The tanks came, maybe about seven,
We got our large Changs, we were in heaven,
Up in the morning for a flight,
Will we get there? we just might!
At the airport we went for brekkie,
But we should have looked,
As I had a sausage that wasn't cooked,
Sarah's omelet looked like sick,
But Laura thought it looked like a dick,
So we boarded a Cathay Pacific Plane to Hong Kong,
This is where things started to go wrong,
When we entered a bar and sung a song,
We sang Aqua, Queen and Five,
At this point I wished I wasn't alive,
Very drunk and very confused,
I weed on Sarah's head to keep me amused!
So now in Oz
Time to take things slow
What a load of Bollocks
Please see my blog below!
0 Comments 343 weeks
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