The deepest definition of youth is life as yet untouched by tragedy. Alfred North Whitehead (1861 - 1947)

In every adversity of fortune, to have been happy is the most unhappy kind of misfortune. Boethius (c. 480 - 524)

The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one. Elbert Hubbard (The Note Book, 1927)

Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone. Tommy Cooper

Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other "your round." The other one says "so are you, you fat bast**d!" Tommy Cooper

"So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'" Tommy Cooper

"A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'" Tommy Cooper

One icy winter morning, an employee was explaining to his boss why he had turned up for work 45 minutes late. He said, 'It was so slippery out there that for every step I took forward, I slipped back two.' The boss eyed him suspiciously and said, 'Oh yeah? So how did you ever get here?' And the man said, 'Well, I finally gave up and headed for home.' Anon

Ants can carry twenty times their own body weight. Which is useful information if you're moving out and you need help getting a potato chip across town. Ron Darian

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two…. Sir Norman Wisdom