Some Say His testicles are made from Titanium and that his under-pants are carbon-fibre
Some say, he's actually dead... But the Grim reaper, is too scared to tell him... All we know is, he's called THE STIG!
some say that all his pot plants are called steve.. and that he has a life size tatoo of his face.. on his face.. all we know is, his called the stig
some say that he can hypnotise sheep, and that if he could be bothered he could swim the Atlantic ocean - underwater.
Some say, that he once co-presented a brazillian show about blimp disasters, and that once, he actually punched God. All we know is, HE'S CALLED THE STIG!
some say that he once killed a girrafe with just his feet and that he has a black belt in paper maché...all we know is he's called the stig
Some say he is 5foot tall with lead in his feet,others say 6feet with tall with air in his head....but he doesnt care what you say.Youll only know him as ....The Stig!!!!!
Some say He's contracted every STD known to man, and that he has inflatable breasts to get him out of speeding tickets. All we know.. is he's called the Stig.
Some say, that he is one of the protons in the Large Hadron Collider, AND that he creates miniature black holes every time he sneezes.
Some say he was the one who actually pulled Excalibur from the stone and that he is the rightful king of England, all we Know is.........He's called The Stig!!!!
some say he sucks the moisture from ducks, and if you lick his chest it tastes exactly the same as picililly, all we know is hes called THE STIG
Some say he gave birth to Chuck Norris,and that the mother was superman!!!
all we know is ..hes called THE STIG!

Some say His first name really is "The".

Some say He drinks a lot of petrol.

Some say He was born in space.

Some say He never blinks.

Some say He roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves.

Some say He sleeps upside down like a bat.

Some say His sweat can be used to clean precious metals.

Some say He does not see like humans do, instead he sees numbers in green scrolling down.

Some say He is scared of bells.

Some say He once punched a horse to the ground.

Some say He is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

Some say His heart ticks like a watch.

Some say All his legs are hydraulic.

Some say He can "accumbularate".

Some say He appears on Japanese banknotes.

Some say There's an airport in Russia named after him.

Some say His breath smells of magnesium.

Some say His tears are adhesive.

Some say He urinates 98 RON petrol.

Some say He can smell corners.

Some say He has acid for blood.

Some say Jimmy Carter wants him dead.

Some say He has a bionic arm.

Some say He has a tattoo of Buzz Aldrin on his thigh.

Some say He is stumped by clouds.

Some say He has no fear.

Some say His ears aren't exactly where you would expect them to be.

Some say He once, "preposterously", had an affair with John Prescott.

Some say He has a digital face.

Some say If he felt like it, he could fire Alan Sugar.

Some say He has named every single blade of grass surrounding the Top Gear test track.

Some say His genitals are on upside down.

Some say His ears have a paisley lining.

Some say He is banned from the Chelsea Flower Show.

Some say The outline of his left nipple is exactly the same shape as the Nürburgring.

Some say If given an important job to do, he'll skive off and play croquet.

Some say He invented Branston Pickle.

Some say On really warm days he sheds his skin, like a snake.

Some say For some reason he's allergic to the Dutch.

Some say If he went on Celebrity Love Island, they'd all be pregnant - including the cameramen.

Some say He once threw a microwave oven at a tramp.

Some say Long before anyone else, he realized that Jay Goody was a racist pig-faced waste of blood and organs.

Some say He once had a vicious knife fight with Anthea Turner.

Some say He was

I'm as sick as a small hospital

I'm so hungry I'd eat a small child

She had a face on her like a well slapped arse

Your' re as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit

My mouth's as dry as a nuns crack

He has rubber-lined pockets so he can steal soup

He thinks manual labour is a Spanish musician

As funny as a burning orphanage

He's so camp, he shites tent pegs

I'm as sick as a plane to Lourdes

I feel like a boiled shite (hungover)

(when leaving) I'm off like a debs dress

She had a face on her that would drive rats from a barn

As busy as the dalkey dole office

Sweatin' like a paedophile in a Barney suit

As tight as a nun's knickers

I'm so horny I'd get up on the crack of dawn

I'd crawl a million miles across broken glass to kiss the
exhaust of the van that took her dirty knickers to the laundry.

Up and down like a hoor's knickers

No show pony but would do for a ride around the house

Did your mother find out who your father is yet?

What would ye expect from a pig but a grunt

I left her with a face like a painters radio

A mickey the size of a double-value can of Right Guard

Jaysus, she could breastfeed a crèche

As fit as a butcher's dog

She's got more chins than a Chinese phone book

Not even the tide would take her out

Mother Teresa wouldn 't kiss her

Daz wouldn't shift her

Des Kelly wouldn't lay her

A sniper wouldn't take her out

Jaysus, ya wouldn't ride her into battle

If I'd a bag of bruised willies I wouldn't give her one

She has a face on her like a bulldog that's just licked piss
off a nettle

She wouldn't get a kick in a stampede

She had a fanny like a badly packed kebab

To Donna & Joseph McCaul:
PODGE: What do ya think went wrong? Was it you or was it the song? Or that they dressed you like Frank Spencer and Tin Tin?

To Diarmuid Gavin:
RODGE: Do you ever get lazy and just f**k a bag of rubbish over your back wall?

To Senator David Norris:
RODGE: Do you ever think they'll find a cure for gayness?

To Rose of Tralee, Aoibhoinn Ni Shuilleabhain
RODGE: Did any of the escorts drop the hand?

To Gavin Lambe Murphy
RODGE: Does anybody ever spit at ya when your walking down the street?

To Frances Black:
RODGE: Do you ever turn up for a gig and they say "Oh, it's you, I thought we'd booked your sister."

To Jon Kenny:
RODGE: Do you ever watch Killinaskully and think 'That bastard!'

To astrologer Fergus Gibson: Rodge: Welcome Fergus Gibson, Ireland's best known astrologer and psychic. But isn't it all just a load of bollix?

To Sile Seioge:
Rodge: Does Grainne ever come and stay? What if there wasn't enough hot water for two baths, sure you'd probably jump in together would ya?

To Foster & Allen:
The accordion, next to the bagpipes; the most annoying instrument in the world. Discuss.

To Martin King:
Podge: You're best known as the weather w*nker...I mean anchor....on TV3

To Keith Duffy:
RODGE If you were to do a reunion tour do you think Supermacs would give Mikey Graham the time off?

To Pamela Flood:
RODGE: One last question that all the fellas would like to know. Does the hat match the purse?

To Barry McGuigan
Podge: For a young fella from a sh*tehole like Clones, you achieved a lot.

To Brendan O'Carroll
PODGE: We were warned you'd be an annoying little bollix.

To Marty Morrissey
PODGE How did ya discover ya had a talent for talkin' sh*te non-stop

Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)

Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room.

Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star
Homer: Aw, twenty dollars! I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services!
Homer: Woo-hoo!

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

Homer: [drunk] Look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him.

Ralph: Me fail English? That's unpossible

Lionel Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son."

Homer (sung to the Flintstones song): Simpson! Homer Simpson! He's the greatest guy in history. From the, Town of Springfield! He's about to hit a chestnut tree! hits tree

Homer: Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!
Marge: HOMER!
Homer: I gotta go Moe my damn weiner kids are listening.

Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend

Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel

Homer: There's your giraffe, little girl.
Ralph Wiggum: I'm a boy.
Homer: That's the spirit. Never give up.

Ralph: Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!

Homer: Here's to alcohol, the cause of—and solution to—all life's problems

Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

Homer: Homer no function beer well without.

Milhouse: Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl Bart? Why did I have the bowl?

Homer: Lisa, would you like a donut?
Lisa: No thanks. Do you have any fruit?
Homer: This has purple in it. Purple is a fruit.

Ralph: [whispering] Lisa, what's the answer to number seven?
Lisa: [whispering] Sorry, Ralph. That would defeat the purpose of testing as a means of student evaluation.
Ralph: [pauses] My cat's name is Mittens

[Santa's Little Helper goes off running with George Bush, leaving Homer all alone]
Homer: I guess you might say he's barking up the wrong Bush.
Homer's Brain: There it is, Homer. The cleverest thing you'll ever say and nobody heard it.
Homer: D'oh.

Homer: I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

Homer: [Looking at a globe map...country being Uruguay]
Hee hee! Look at this country! 'You are gay.'

Homer