someone tried to tackle David Wallace once, but then found out you cant tackle David Wallace.

The popular videogame "DOOM" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from Denis Leamy and forgot to pay him back.

You are what you eat...That is why Paul O'Connell's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.

The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when David Wallace punched himself in the face.

Denis Leamy sold his soul to the devil for his ability to never feel pain and unparalleled strength. Shortly after the transaction was finalised, Leamy bounced the devil, before dumping him on his ass and taking his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldnt stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second wednesday of the month.

The only thing fear has to feel is fear itself..........The only thing fear has to fear is Paul O'Connell.

Similar to a Russian nesting doll, if you were to break David Wallace open you would find another David Wallace inside, only smaller and angrier.

When the incredible hulk gets angry he turns into Paul O'Connell

Superman owns a pair of David Wallace pyjamas

On Moh's hardness scale diamond is a 10...Paul O'Connell is an 11

David Wallace is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right shoulders

Denis Leamy is Bruce Wayne

Paul O'Connell appeared in the "Mortal Combat 2" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers bcause every button caused him to run the length of the sceen and bust his opponent, earning him a "flawless victory". When asked about this "glitch", O'Connell replied, "Thats no glitch"

As a child David Wallace used to hunt alligators in the Shannon. I know what you're thinking; "there are no alligators in the Shannon"
Yeah.......now.

Denis Leamy htes playing 'Rock, Paper, Scissors' because he doest believe anything could beat rock, and when someone throws paper, he says "i win". If someone is foolish enough to dispute him, he takes his clenched fist and punches them in the face and then says,"I thought your paper would protect you".

Human females have two X chromosomes. Males have ann X and a Y. Paull O'Connell has three Y's and a P.

Ursula: i dont like to touch people...maybe i overlooked that when i put physio on my cao

Ursula: i hate it when children turn around and smile at you...i never know what to do!

Brian: stairs are challenging!

Muirna: sile, where abouts in kilkenny r you from?are you near da coast?

Claire: oops i just set my phone to spanish...i was wondering why da predictive text wasnt working...

Claire (while on the second floor): if we just hop out this window it'd be soo much quicker than walking down the stairs

Claire: which was da smart one...pinky or da brain?

Rory: i just love sitting in my onesie watching off da rails

Rory: do breast cancer awareness muffins have nipples on dem?

Lowry (at 3am): stop da taxi i want a flapjack

Claire (when she couldnt find her m3p): oh ill ring it to find it...oh no wait if im not listening to it den its not switched on and i wont hear it

Muirna (stumbling in down under): guys...dont ruin my street cred!

Rory and Claire: da worst thing about being in an old folks home is that your toast will be too cold by the time it gets to you

Marie: im gay...how gay am i?

Sile: zumooooo and beboooooo

Claire: if sile ever gets old...and she probably will....

Caitriona: he's on line! felipe's online...im sooo writing him a msg (after he replies) guys would it be a bit stalkerish if i write him another message?

Caitriona: here you stand on my shoulders and take da stars....only take two though cuz we're not thieves!

Caitriona: im not evil...but ill do it neway!

Marie: i had a fight with a carpet

Anna: you only love me for my accent!

Caitriona: anna say cocopops!!!no no say it like coooocopops

Lowry: get some wedges and chicken jazzily wazzily!

Brian: i just wanted to see if caitriona's camera would bounce...it doesnt!

Tim (da honorary physio): (after brian threw caitriona's camera on da ground) just put it in da charger and that wil fix it...

Tim: are dere people in dere?(pointing at marie's closet)

Marie: my handles are fine!

Caitriona: tuesday is like a rotton fruit...

Brian: im sure if i went to da christina aguillera concert it would've been fabulous! (we're stil not sure if he did go or not)

Lowry: check out dat guy's wedges!!!!

Claire: did you ever try to make perfume?
Caitriona: no, but i tried to make holy water...
Claire: did you hold a mass? i did and i made my mammy and brother go. my mammy thought it was unethical, but i said shh, body of christ (while handing her a chocolate animal biscuit aka: da "body of christ")

Rory: i got turned down at da george for bein too gay....

Caitriona (standing at the counter in schuh): oh my god i've no money with me....oh wait i hav a laser card!!

Caitriona: do aliens have keys in space or are their doors all electronic?

Caitriona: in da gay wedding dey can get da wands and go "do" at da end!
Rory: dere's way too much innuendo in dat....
Caitriona: oops.....

Marie: maybe she's born with it...maybe its tres semme!!
Caitriona: dont u mean "maybe its maybeline"
Marie: oh rite...yeah i taut it didnt sound rite...OOPS!

Caitriona: ok think of a letter in the alphabet.
Muirna: PiNEAPPLE!
Caitriona: what?i said letter!!!!
Muirna: ok so p
Caitriona: ok now think of an animal beginning with that letter
Muirna: PINEAPPLE!!!!.....OOPS!!!!!

Caitriona: but i cant take off my hat...i have hat hair!!

Brian: you know why you don't give stickers to children?...that's why you don't give them to me!

Claire: oh i couldn't see you without my eyes...i mean my glasses....i mean in da dark!!im confuzzled!

Claire and Linda talking about the bacteriophage in the biology exam, Caitriona: oh is that what it was..i thought it was a robot!!!

Cian (pharmer...but an honourary physio!!): you cant bring food into that library...you'll be RAPED!!!seriously...they'll rape you!!

Caitriona: were you there that time?...well you probably were it was your house....

Claire: b