Marty Connolly

I'm wondering where in the world Alicia Keys could be...

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  • News

    DUBLIN - MP3 piracy of copyrighted music claimed another victim Monday, when the emaciated body of singer/songwriter superstar Paddy Casey was found in Crumlin.

    A malnourished Paddy Casey made his last public appearance on April 22, when he was spotted in his local Aldi store.

    "How many more artists must die of starvation before we put a stop to this MP3 madness?" asked Declan O'Rourke, his one time band mate. "MP3s of our Paddy's music were so widely traded and downloaded by college students that he was driven back to the mean streets from whence he came, dying bankrupt and penniless in the gutter."

    When found by police, the 24-year-old Paddy Casey, born Nancy Shedface, was still clutching a cardboard that read "Anyone can lose it all", a clever play on the singer's biggest hit.

    "Students killed Paddy Casey, there's no doubt about it," added Frames frontman Glen Hansard, known affectionately as Glen Handsome among members of Dublin's Sight-Savers community. "As soon as college starts in September people stop buying his music. Students think music is free. It's not surprising, either: Why would anyone in their right mind pay E9.99 for a CD with artwork when they could simply spend seven hours downloading the compressed MP3 files of all the album's songs onto their home computer's desktop, decompress it into an AIFF sound file, and then burn the data onto a blank CD?"

    Casey had been missing for months prior to the discovery of his body. When asked had he not noticed his flatmate's absence, Declan O'Rourke said he was "very busy re-releasing my album" and had simply "forgot to check if Paddy was ok. I just assumed he was in his room".

    According to post-autopsy analysis of Paddy Casey's stomach, his last meal consisted of cigarettes and ice cream, old CD liner notes, and the partial remains of Jerry Fish, who had been missing since May 15.

    Thus far, relief efforts on behalf of afflicted artists have met with little success. In January, Mundy, The Frames and Bell X1 teamed up for a concert tour known as "Us Aid," but the rockers were forced to cancel plans for a money-spinning DVD when concertgoers acquired a promotional copy of the concert downloaded illegally and made available by someone identified only as marty_connolly@hotmail.com.

    -END

    3 comentarios 989 días

  • News

    DUBLIN - In an impassioned 1,900-word open letter published in Monday's Evening Herald, singer Paddy Casey urged the unknown person who registered the e-mail address PaddyCasey@gmail.com to "come forward immediately, rather than wallowing in the shame of fraud."

    The paid full-page advertisement, addressed to "a certain inconsiderate mentalist," continued: "Every Irishman-indeed, every human being, regardless of nationality-deserves to be rightfully and accurately represented on the World Wide Web without having to resort to nonsensical aliases with random strings of numbers tacked onto the end. In an era of global wireless technology, our very identities are at stake."

    Casey, real name Nancy Shedface, recounted in the letter how he had waited for an invitation to Google's e-mail service for a year and a half before receiving one earlier this month from friend and one-time band mate, Declan O'Rourke. According to Casey, when he tried to establish an account, he received a message indicating that his desired user name, PaddyCasey, had already been registered.

    "Sir or madam, if only you could have seen the fucking anger that washed over my face as I found that PaddyCasey@gmail.com, Casey@gmail.com, PCasey@gmail.com, Casey.Paddy@gmail.com, and PaddyCaseyRules@gmail.com had all been taken," Casey's letter read. "So then I lit up a smoke and typed in Paddycasey@gmail.com, but it would not work either, as Gmail addresses are not case-senstitive. If only you could have heard my cry of anguish when, in a last, desperate move, I typed in SaintsAndSinners@gmail.com, only to be rejected once more and finally forced to accept Paddy.Casey20061@gmail.com."

    Continued Casey, "It's a sad, sad day for the artist's right to self-determination and self-expression, let alone for the music producers, journalists, and other artists who will not be able to easily remember-or even recognize-my e-mail address."

    Casey said he also tried PaddyCasey81760@gmail.com, PaddyKC@gmail.com, PaddyLikesCigarettes@gmail.com and PaddyCaseySingerSongwriter@gmail.c
     om.

    This was not the first time Casey has expressed anger over the difficulty of obtaining a Paddy Casey-specific e-mail address. He made headlines last year when he refused to appear at the Meteor Awards after he learned that PCasey@sonymusic.com had been taken by upcoming singer songwriter Paul Casey.

    Casey admitted that the painful experience of not being able to communicate freely through e-mail had its upside.

    "Oh, certainly, I identify more strongly with the poor, war-battered youth of the Middle East."

    Casey ended his statement by reiterating his demand that the PaddyCasey user-name holder reveal his identity. Casey, 24, invited the perpetrator, who he suspects is "a certain Monaghan reject up to no good" to accompany him to Crumlin, to "learn a hard, real-life lesson about the devastation caused by gross injustice and misapplication of power."

    -END

    4 comentarios 1267 días

  • Young Theo Walcott

    TEN TERRIFIC THEO TRIVIA-THINGS

    1) When silly Gareth Southgate missed that fateful penalty back in Euro 1996, Theo's dad, 47, was in BABY INFANTS!

    2) Teammate Gary Neville is old enough to be his DAD (in Blair's Britain where one in two 14-year-olds are fathers).

    3) By the time Theo is the same age as the squad's oldest member David James, footballers will have been replaced by super-intelligent ROBOTS who will not run or sprint - but instead use HOVERBOARDS!!

    4) Theo's pretty girlfriend Melanie Slade is not yet old enough to be officially leered over by us...but the clock's ticking.

    5) Theo's not old enough to DRINK, VOTE or have ANAL SEX...

    6) ...but he is young enough to wear a HOODY, become OBESE from his school dinners or be preyed upon by one of Britain's eight million PAEDOPHILES!!.

    7) When Michael Owen was the same age as Theo, a pint of beer cost a shilling, a family's weekly shopping cost 65p and SMALLPOX killed one infant in three.

    8) Theo will need an interpreter with him at England squad meetings - he is unfamiliar with standard English and communicates only via TEXT message, podcast and MOBILE ringtones.

    9) When captain David Beckham was fathering his first child, Theo's BALLS hadn't even dropped!!

    10) When Sven-Goran Eriksson was born, Theo WASN'T!!!

    0 comentarios 1292 días

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  • Marty Doran
    Marty Doran

    Ya know itd be really funny if you did say that but we both know that Mr. Taiwanese did not call me a sweet and sour chicken with half rice and half chip, and a pint of milk, martin the building wasnt swaying your were, ya big flippin fool, i heard all about ya, tommy wong told me, said you drank a bottle of whiskey and read the bible, connolly youl never change, so when are ya commin home? roys bein askin after ya, things just havent bein that same between him and booh YOUR MY BOY BOOH since you left

    hace 7 semanas
  • Marty Doran
    Marty Doran

    how are ya father, i hear your a racist now, hows that goin for ya?

    hace 8 semanas
  • Kaz
    Kaz

    hey marty marty..hows life over world side? doin good i hope..ya teachin them bad manners as well as english huh.. u be home for christmas?

    hace 9 semanas
  • Avril
    Avril

    Hey Mr. Connolly! How you doing?

    hace 11 semanas
  • Gerard Cunningham
    Gerard Cunningham

    ah not too bad takin it handy ya know yourself, where about in asia are ya, are ya workin over there or what,

    hace 11 semanas
  • Gerard Cunningham
    Gerard Cunningham

    hows it goin long time no talk

    hace 13 semanas
  • Trish Clarke hace 13 semanas
  • Marty Doran
    Marty Doran

    that glen was a prick anyway, him over in america winning awards, if i saw him now id have to be dug out of him, did you ever get that cd in dundalk collage bar that had 2 Paddy Casey albums all in 1? it was a great album, oh and did you ever drink a bottle of whiskey and read the bible, aw martin, fun times fun times, YOUR MY BOY BOO

    hace 14 semanas
  • Marty Doran
    Marty Doran

    i remember D1 & D2 martin, but what happened in D3 surley they had beatin every U16 ice hockey team on the planet, they were gr8 movies, " icecream with the enemy huh coach?" that was a real low point in his life, why didnt he tell him to fuck off you little shit, i was billy the kid, do you remember camp nowhere it was fantastic, im headin out tonite for my birthday, im all grown up now marty c, mc chemical, mc blinds, marty mcfly, hi remember rosie hughes told you you needed to get a sence of humour ha ha, yeah you, connolly ya ole dry shite,

    hace 14 semanas
  • Marty Doran
    Marty Doran

    gerry mcelroy was at a doohamlet game a few weeks ago and he was shoutin bad manners at everyone, ya know i didnt think he had it in him, i said "hi gerry, you kiss your mother with that mouth?"

    hace 16 semanas
  • Marty Doran
    Marty Doran

    martin connolly i was watchin the posidon adventure today, gene hackman plays a priest in it, r well that was no help

    hace 17 semanas
  • Brian Sewell
    Brian Sewell

    Cheers man. How're you keeping?

    hace 23 semanas
  • luv D.S.

    Wats up man? How u? Hows life over there?

    hace 25 semanas
  • Christopher Duffy
    Christopher Duffy

    Eh me no speak d english

    hace 26 semanas vía Mobile
  • Bryan Morrison
    Bryan Morrison

    yeah im good man, not getting much sleep with the little one but thats normal and just working away, its just started getting a bit colder here, but it still beats ireland's spring weather wise. any craic with you in Taipei? are you planning any trips oversea's when your done?

    hace 26 semanas
  • Kaz
    Kaz

    wel marty so sorrow didnt reply t ya sooner...how did you like hong kong then? we stayed in kowloon area went to night market, restaurant on the water (ship was in batman movie!) , it was amazin city I thought.

    hace 26 semanas
  • Christopher Duffy
    luv Christopher Duffy

    Jesus had another babi

    hace 27 semanas vía Mobile
  • Bryan Morrison
    Bryan Morrison

    hey Martin hows life? well im a dad now beth had a baby boy called him Finn. Not much else news here in oz, you still in Taipei?

    hace 27 semanas
  • Christopher Duffy
    luv Christopher Duffy

    Happi chinese bday

    hace 27 semanas vía Mobile
  • Gemma Malone
    Gemma Malone

    Sorry for takin so long to write back just couldnt stop laughin at that joke! still the same old martin!!

    hace 31 semanas