On Wayne Rooney...
"It's an incredible rise to stardom. At 17 you're more likely to get a call from Michael Jackson than Sven Goran Eriksson."

Reporter: Gordon, Do you think James Beattie deserves to be in the
England squad?
Strachan: I don't care, I'm Scottish

Reporter: "Gordon, can we have a quick word please?"
Strachan: "Velocity" [walks off]

Reporter: Welcome to Southampton Football Club. Do you think you
are the right man to turn things around?
Strachan: No. I was asked if I thought I was the right man for the job and I said, "No, I think they should have got George Graham because I'm useless."

Reporter: Is that your best start to a season?
Strachan: Well I've still got a job, so it's far better than the
Coventry one, that's for sure.

Reporter: Are you getting where you want to be with this team?
Strachan: We're not doing bad. What do you expect us to be like?
We were eighth in the league last year, in the cup final and we
got into Europe. I don't know where you expect me to get to. Do
you expect us to win the Champions League?

Reporter: Gordon, you must be delighted with that result?
Strachan: You're spot on! You can read me like a book.

Strachan: I've got more important things to think about. I've got a
yoghurt to finish by today, the expiry date is today. That can be my
priority rather than Agustin Delgado.

Reporter: This might sound like a daft question, but you'll be happy to get your first win under your belt, won't you?
Strachan: You're right. It is a daft question. I'm not even going to
bother answering that one. It is a daft question, you're spot on
there.

Reporter: Bang, there goes your unbeaten run. Can you take it?
Strachan: No, I'm just going to crumble like a wreck. I'll go
home, become an alcoholic and maybe! jump off a bridge. Umm, I think I can take it, yeah.

Reporter: There's no negative vibes or negative feelings here?
Strachan: Apart from yourself, we're all quite positive round here.
I'm going to whack you over the head with a big stick, down negative man, down.

Reporter: where will Marion Pahars fit into the team line-up?
Strachan: Not telling you! It's a secret.

Reporter: You don't take losing lightly, do you Gordon?
Strachan: I don't take stupid comments lightly either.

Reporter: So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough
were better than you today?
Strachan: What areas? Mainly that big green one out there....

Reporter: "What is your impression of Jermaine Pennant?"
Strachan: "I don't do impressions"

Reporter: Did you enjoy that Gordon?
Strachan: Aye, I did - so much so that I'm going home to watch it on
ceefax (walks off)

The world looks a totally different place after two wins. I can
even enjoy watching Blind Date or laugh at Noel's House Party.

Reporter: So Gordon, any changes then ?
Strachan: Naw, still 5ft 6, ginger hair, and a big nose!

Reporter: So, Gordon, any plans for Europe this year?
Strachan: Aye, me and the wife quite fancy Spain in August.

Gary Lineker: So Gordon, if you were English, what formation would
you play?
Gordon Strachan: If I was English I'd top myself!

G-Unit
GGGG-UUNit
G Unit
g-unit 4 life
____G-unit50
___50
__50
_50
_50____g-unit
__50________i
___50_______n
____50centg-u

__50_________50
__50_________50
__50_________50
__50_________50
__50_________50
___50_______50
____50_____50
______G-unit

__cent_______50
__50_50______50
__50__50_____50
__50___50____50
__50____50___50
__50_____50__50
__50______50_50
__50_______cent

__g-unit50cent
_______50
_______50
_______50
_______50
_______50
_______50
__g-unit50cent

___g-unit50cent
________50
________50
________50
________50
________50
________50
________50
________50

Podge nd Rodge Quotes

You're as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit
My mouth's as dry as a nuns crack
He has rubber-lined pockets so he can steal soup
He thinks manual labour is a Spanish musician
As funny as a burning orphanage
He's so camp, he shites tent pegs
I'm as sick as a plane to Lourdes
I feel like a boiled shite (hungover)
(when leaving) I'm off like a debs dress
She had a face on her that would drive rats from a barn
As busy as the dalkey dole office
Sweatin' like a paedophile in a Barney suit
As tight as a nun's knickers
I'm so horny I'd get up on the crack of dawn
I'd crawl a million miles across broken glass to kiss the exhaust of
the van that took her dirty knickers to the laundry.
Up and down like a hoor's knickers
No show pony but would do for a ride around the house
Did your mother find out who your father is yet?
What would ye expect from a pig but a grunt
I left her with a face like a painters radio
A mickey the size of a double-value can of Right Guard
Jaysus, she could breastfeed a crèche
As fit as a butcher's dog
She ' s got more chins than a Chinese phone book
Not even the tide would take her out
Mother Teresa wouldn’t kiss her
Daz wouldn't shift her
Des Kelly wouldn't lay her
A sniper wouldn't take her out
Jaysus, ya wouldn't ride her into battle
If I'd a bag of bruised willies I wouldn't give her one
She has a face on her like a bulldog that's just licked piss off a nettle

She wouldn't get a kick in a stampede
She had a f@nny like a badly packed kebab
If I'd a garden full of mickeys I wouldn't let her look over the wall