Feb 12th
As i sat here in my deck chair, viewing my estate, i noticed the young lawn boy playing a banjo. "rebellion!" i thought...i shot the bastard on sight, on closer inspection it turned out to be big tim, my retaded cousin. God knows how he was playing the banjo...no arms you see, i had them cut off, nasty habbit of maturbating....in the corner of the dining room....as we ate tiffan. Mother had always been an expert in the kitchen, and thats were i kept her chained to the oven, if she made a mistake we would burn her.


March 2nd
I sat in my room today, pleasuring myself over the mirror when my daughter, George Foreman, walked in so i had her shot.

March 3rd
Euthanised grandma today, she caught me masturbating feverishly over tiffen.

March 22nd
Went big game hunting, i released a pack of retards after the fox, their not very effective but their efforts to run amuse me. Afterwards i had them shot.

March 27th
Visited Thailand today, bought a brown skinned boy.

March 29th
Held super sweet sixteen in Auswitz, barbecued jew day. BAHH

April 1st
Had an AIDS test after returning from Thailand, i then had the doctor shot.

April 5th
Lunged wildly at the pope, Catholic bastard.

April 23rd
I went to see Inside im dancing, outside i was laughing.

May 6th
Today i laid waist to the entire cast and crew of Will&Grace. Afterward i brought the family and my serogate black children to the incinerator.

May 12th
Put singles add in paper, Single,WHITE, christian, seeking middle age woman for intimate chats, walks on the beach, sharing stories possibly leading to anal sex.

May 13th
I like anal.

May 26th
Denied Holocaust.

July 2nd
Convicted of war crimes in southern Lebanon, had to have the judge and jury shot.

July 3rd
Recaptured by war crimes tribunal. Bugger.

July 4th
Aquitted of all charges. Went to celebrate with Prince.....had him shot.

July 18th
Collected 250 tesco clubcard points.

July 24th
My Birthday, celebrated by buying an Vietnamese village, leveling it and steeling all their shoes.

July 25th
Sold 8000 pairs of Vietnamese shoes(assorted sizes) to Elton John.

August 5th
Buggered my butler, then his had his extended family and friends shot.

Sept 1st
Released on 25 counts of forced sodomy and 2 counts of littering the streets with childrens socks.

Sept 11th
Sexually molested children in creche

Sept 12th
Caught my daughter Phillating my brother. Shes mine so i had her shot.

Sept 14th
Hired a rent boy from cockbuster entertainment.

Oct 24th
Was voted the 3rd weaketst link.

Nov 1st
Hit puberty, 3 cheers for big boy hair.

Nov 19th
Buttered my balls.

Dec 12th
Bought 12 reindeers and a real santa.

Dec 13th
Bought Lapland. Had the midgets ethicnically clensed.

Dec 20th
Invited 400 people to my manor for christmas.

Dec 25th
Hung santa infront of the children to build character, the one's who cried were shot. Released anthrax into air ducts, builds character you know.

Dec 26th
Filled the reindeer with concrete, they died soon after.

Dec 30th
Took the flora Pro-Active Challange.

Dec 31st
Failed Flora Pro-Active Challange.

Jan 1st
Declaired clinocally retarded.