John May
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Maschio, 21,
208
- Città: Carlow/Dublin
- Stato sentimentale: Single
- Visite al profilo: 7.742
- Data registrazione: October 2006
- Ultimo accesso: 3 giorni fa
- www.bebo.com/Mayzer88
- Foto con tag John May (40)
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chiudi Informazioni personali
- Messaggio personale
- Every fight is a food fight when you’re a cannibal!!
- Tutto su di me
- Facebooks the place to be!!!!
My 21st, vry vry messy!!!! cheers to ever1 who came!
Dick in a box.............
If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that!
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"? - Things that suck
- Dublin Bus (cause there never on time) Bank Accounts (cause there always empty) n early mornins ( cause i always had to much the night before)
- It isn`t premarital sex
- if you have no intention of getting married!
- A dreamcatcher works
- if your dream is to be gay..........
- She's so pure,
- Moses couldn't even part her knees!!!!
- I once got sacked for laughing ...
- mind you, I was driving a hearse at the time.
- Dear Diary.....
- JACKPOT!!!!
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John....... as told by the urban dictionary
John
Slang word referring to:
1. A customer of a prostitiute
2. Toilet
3. An semi-errect/fully-errect penis
4. An idiot
5. An Ape-like male
John
A very extreamly confusing guy. shows that he has feelings for you sometimes, but then might just randomly stop talking to you at any time. veryy flirtatious. manwhore. willll lead you on. halarious. full of charisma. you have to love him. boys are jealous of him. girls are jealous of the girl he is flirting with at the time..
not persistant.
changes moods easily; moody.
greatest, most annoying person on the face of this earth..yet i still want to be with him..
John
Hebrew name meaning "A gift from god"
John
1. A commonly used english name for males.
2. A man who is in the process of procuring the services of a whore or prostitute; also see client number nine.
3. A baptist and right-hand man of jesus christ in the best selling fiction novel of all time aka the bible
John
An other word for a JOINT (self rolled marijuana)
John
A name which literally means "The sex". The original John was believed to have originated from a pure ball of undiluted sex, making him the best human alive.
Thank you urban dictionary
0 commenti 509 giorni
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The Bar Story
This guy goes to a bar that's on the tenth floor of a hotel. He sits down and has a couple of drinks, then stands up, announces loudly that he has had enough, and goes over and jumps out the window. Now, there are two men who are sitting at a window table, and having that natural human curiosity about the grotesque, watch as this man plummets to certain death.
However, just as he is about to hit the ground, he rights himself, pulls his feet underneath himself, and lands gracefully. He then turns and comes back into the building. Naturally, the two men are amazed. The guy comes back into the bar, orders a few drinks, then repeats the process. The two men at the window seat are astounded! When the guy returns and repeats the procedure AGAIN, the two men stop him before he jumps and ask him how on earth he does that. He replies "It's simple, really. There's an air vent down by the ground, and if you catch the updraft, you can right yourself and land on the ground with no problems." Then he proceeded to jump out the window again. Well, these two men decided that they just HAD to try this, so they jumped out the window, and SPLAT! -- made a mess hitting all over the ground.
Meanwhile, the first guy has made it back up to the bar. When he sits down to order his drinks, the bartender says "Superman, you can be a real ------- when you're drunk!"0 commenti 536 giorni
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ATM
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
"Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.
After months of careful research, MALE and FEMALE procedures have been developed.
Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender:
MALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
FEMALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.0 commenti 536 giorni
chiudi Favourite Quotes
That's right, Dougal. You see, ordinary shops sell what look like black socks, but if you look closely, you'll see that they're very, very, very, very, very, very, very dark blue.
Now is the winter of your discontent!
[advert] you have a tough day at the office, so you come home, make yourself some dinner, smother your kids, pop in a movie, maybe have a drink. It's fun right?...wrong, don't smother your kids.
Your as about as useful as a cock flavoured lollypop
I'm going to punch you in your ovaries
I opened up a yoghurt, underneath the lid it said, 'Please Try Again' because they were having a contest I was unaware of. But I thought I might have opened the yoghurt wrong, or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me. 'C'mon, Mitchell, don't give up. Please try again. A message of inspiration from your friends at Yoplait. Fruit on the bottom, hope on top.'
Seth: Alright?u look like a future paedophile in this picture number 1, number 2 it doesn?t even have a 1st name it just says mclovin!
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Hi John
Check this out!
Climax @ The Vaults IFSC Dublin
Friday October 23rd 2009
with
Liam Melly
Chris Ward
Fergus Keogh
Darryn Mc Callion
Doors open 9pm Strictly Over 18s ID Essential
Admission €10 / Tickets available on the door.
For your chance to win tickets check our page for daily competitions
www.climaxclubnight.net
Lets get drunk on a week day...its been like a week already...ah gettin old
Hey John
CLIMAX THIS SATURDAY
LEVEL 2 @ MORRISSEYS, ROSE INN ST KILKENNY
with
Jon O Bir
Chris Ward
Liam Melly
Shay F
Darryn Mc Callion
Doors from 8pm
Tickets available fom ticketmaster outlets nation wide
and from www.ticketmaster.ie @ €11.80 incl booking fee
Stricly Over 18s ID Essential
www.climaxclubnight.net
Ha ha landlord rang me yesterday..stupidly i answered phone....ANOTHER ESB bill...i hung up n turned off my phone! Do ya think he noticed ?! Silly priests!
! Any crack with you? Hope your exams went well, well ok I know they did coz your a feckin genius!
Hey John
Climax is back in Kilkenny!
Saturday July 25th 09
with
Jon O Bir
Chris Ward
Liam Melly
Shay F
Darryn Mc Callion
Doors from 8pm
Tickets available fom ticketmaster outlets nation wide
and from www.ticketmaster.ie @ €11.80 incl booking fee
Stricly Over 18s ID Essential
www.climaxclubnight.net
sooooooooooo did u get it all sorted
haha ur ting 4 our lovely college
we sure do..now be nice John i dont want to be out of a job thnx you very much especially these days......... but so far we never had a comlaint so dont you start hahaha
Well fare play to ya least ya get paid though hate ya for that hahaha...do ya still come home on the weekends or ya staying in cork?????
NOT FUNNY!!!
Aw yeah ive plenty of places ta hide out but someone kinda needs ta keep an eye on her for a wee while... Orlaith to the rescue!!
When you're not tired, pissed off, pre and post both angeluses you are indeed a pleasure... So basically when your asleep... But you snore so you're still annoying... Face it...You're a fucking nightmare!!
yea i do
emmmm 2weeks
hahaha
i dont wanna do the tests ha
Three unfortunates moving in with you?? Oh dear... Speaking of unfortunate I am going to live with crazy ole aunty Attracta....
STOP FUCKING LAUGHING YA GOBSHITE!!!!!
well you will be grand so once people move in and before ya no it ya will be back in smelly carlow hahaha. I sure do still work there where else would i be
5 years now imagine after flying i think. Its money so happy days. What will ya be doing in the hospital??? if ya dont mind me asking?
now ur gettin me!!!!!!
hahaha
sooooo any other strange wi u??????
x
but its
M....O....N.....E...Y!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!
LOL
Hey darling didnt win or anything but i had a deadly time was great un after all the madness hahaha....how is cork???? ya enjoying it like??? bet ya cant wait for Carlow haha where will ya be in calow???
Tink we're stormin another weddin...gulp lol it misses ur ass
ABUSE!!
Now that that formality is out of the way...How are the fish?? Still lookin for equal rights?! The vote??
BAD MANNERS!!
Hows your acdc voice?
ah deadly hope your getting paid for that though??? im not bad kept busy as always ha..... finished college for the summer hope to get 4th yr fingures crossed..... and have the Carlow rose this weekend so busy busy. how long ya on placement for in cork??? the summer?
"a charm of ur own..." hmm is that what u guys call crushing someones soul these days?!
Barcode was ..... interesting, what I learnt from the evening was tequila is not my friend! twas a big girls nite so ye was pretty messy but good fun all the same!
how goes saving the fish? And just to show u im not totally heartless I will leave u some love.... just dont get used to it
i found that receipt for rockband love