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Ian Watson

Bring On The Trumpets!!!!!!! TRUMPETS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!

1/21/09 | me too! | Reply

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Male, 30, 9
I am In a Relationship

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Last active: 2/16/10
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About Me

Me, Myself, and I: Unemployment is Great!!!!!!

The Other Half Of Me: Bronwen H

Music: Oasis, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, The Beatles, Queen, Razorlight, Jimi Hendrix, Rick James, Bob Marley and so much more!
Films: Spaceballs, Anchorman, Kung Pow, Trainspotting, The Goonies, Platoon, Uncle Buck, The Great Outdoors, Scarface and all the other classics!
Sports: Don't really support anyone except Scotland and when it comes to playing sport Im lazy but i'll give most things a go!
Scared Of: Clowns because they are the most evil things in the universe!
Happiest When: When i'm with my wonderful girlfriend, sleeping, cooking myself a fat boy meal or getting stupidly drunk!

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Are Bananas Evil!
1. Without a doubt!
2. Yes! Yes! Yes!
3. I don't know because i'm stupid
4. Possibly not!
5. No!
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Qantas

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last...........

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel.
Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

0 Comments 291 weeks
NAVY AND MARINE RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

NAVY AND MARINE RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

Here, then, are the Rules Of Engagement for the Royal Marines and their parent organisation, the Royal Navy:

Royal Marines Rules of Engagement:
1.Bring a gun. Preferably, bring at least two guns. 2.Bring all of your friends who have guns.
3.Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
4.Only hits count. The only thing worse than a miss is a slow miss.
5.If your shooting stance is good, you're probably not moving fast enough nor using cover correctly.
6.Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral and diagonal movement are preferred.)
7.If you can choose what to bring to a gunfight, bring a long gun and a friend with a long gun.
8.In ten years nobody will remember the details of calibre, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
9.If you are not shooting, you should be communicating, reloading, and running.
10.Accuracy is relative: most combat shooting standards will be more dependent on "pucker factor" than the inherent accuracy of the gun.
11.Use a gun that works EVERY TIME. "All skill is in vain when someone pisses in the flintlock of your musket."
12.Someday someone may kill you with your own gun, but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.
13.Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
14.Have a plan.
15.Have a back-up plan, because the first one won't work.
16.Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
17.Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
17.Don't drop your guard.
18.Always tactical load and threat scan 360 degrees.
19.Watch their hands. Hands kill. (In God we trust. Everyone else, keep your hands where I can see them).
20.Decide to be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH.
21.The faster you finish the fight, the less shot you will get.
22.Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
23.Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
24.Your number one Option for Personal Security is a lifelong commitment to avoidance, deterrence, and de-escalation.

Navy Rules of Engagement:
1.Go to Sea.
2.Send the Marines.
3.Drink Tea and eat Chocky Digestives.

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Which evil villain are you?(From films,games, cartoons and comics)

My result is: Uka-Uka-VERY EVIL

You are an evil witchdoctor spirit trapped inside a mask who was trapped for many centuries underground. Now you are free, you wish to rule the world and you have high chances of suceeding with the right methods but you associate with morons and animal hybrids, also you under-estimate your opponents and are repeatedly defeated by your own stupidity.

Which evil villain are you?(From films,games, cartoons and comics) - take this quiz!

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what scrubs charactor are you?

My result is: Dr cox

yoor Dr cox.. Yoo dont let people know that you like them when you do. You push people away and only care about those close to you. Yoor very sarcastic, but only because youve got a reputation to keep right?

what scrubs charactor are you? - take this quiz!