Frank: How do you do I,
See you've met my,
Faithful handyman

He's just a little brought down
Because when you knocked
He thought you were the candyman

Don't get strung out, by the way I look
Don't judge a book by it's cover
I'm not much of a man, by the light of day
But by night I'm one hell of a lover

I'm just a sweet transvestite
From Transexual, Transylvania

Let me show you around
Maybe play you a sound
You look like you're both pretty groovy

Or if you want something visual
That's not too abysmal
We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie

Brad: I'm glad we caught you at home
Could we use your phone?
We're both in a bit of a hurry

Janet :Right!

Brad: We'll just say where we are
Then go back to the car
We don't want to be any worry

Frank: Well you got caught with a flat, well how bout that
Well, babies, don't you panic
By the light of the night it'll all seem alright
I'll get you a satanic mechanic

I'm just a sweet transvestite
From Transexual, Transylvania

Frank: Why don't you stay for the night

Riff Raff: night!

Frank: Or maybe a bite

Columbia: bite!

I could show you my favourite obsession
I've been making a man
With blond hair and a tan
And he's good for relieving my . . . tension

I'm just a sweet transvestite
From Transexual, Transylvania
I'm just a sweet transvestite
From Transexual, Transylvania

So- come up to the lab
And see what's on the slab
I see you shiver with antici . . . pation

But maybe the rain isn't really to blame
So I'll remove the cause
But not the symptom

I was feeling done in, couldn't win
I'd only ever kissed before.
I thought there's no use getting into heavy petting
It only leads to trouble and seat wetting...

Now all I want to know is how to go
I've tasted blood and I want more
I'll put up no resistance, I want to stay the distance
I've got an itch to scratch, I need assistance:

Toucha toucha toucha touch me, I wanna be dirty
Thrill me chill me fulfil me
Creature of the night.

Then if anything grows while you pose
I'll oil you up and rub you down
And that's just one small fraction of the main attraction
You need a friendly hand and I need action...

Toucha toucha toucha touch me, I wanna be dirty
Thrill me chill me fulfil me
Creature of the night.