You Know Your A Farmer When....
Getting up at 7am is a lie-in

You've run over your own cat in a tractor

When someone says they live on an estate you think of fields and woods rather than a barratts development

You tut at people in tesco buying danish bacon and french bread

You don't sit down to a single hot meal in august

You fall asleep with-in 3 minutes of sitting down in front of the t.v

Your sun tan ends just above the elbow in the summer

You've had a live lamb in your aga

You get more letters from DEFRA than you do from friends and family

You only take the kids to the seaside when it rains

You can't drive along a road anywhere in britain without studying everyone else's crop's and livestock

There is small heaps of grain outside the back door of the house every summer

Drilling does not mean putting holes through interior walls

Dress sense means cutting down on nitrogen applications

Your 4x4 acctually goes off road

You get frustrated by people calling straw "hay"

Your ideal holiday is to visit other peoples farms

Your hands look like they are made with the same material as your boots

Your bag on your hoover is full of grain from july to september

The faint (but agreeable) smell of disel never leaves you

You most valued possession is your pen knife

A lamb follows the children into the kitchen and no one thinks its unusal

You confidently walk arround the supermarket in wellies

Your lawn include hundreds of cattle hoof prints

You open a bale and discover an old mobile phone (or wallet)

Your alarm clock is set to farming today, even though you hate it now

You've got the RPA's number on speed dail in your phone

When you listen to radio 4's the archers and think how hoppy all the characters are

A good holiday is a week in the west coast in november

Track and field has nothing to do with athletics

You drive your new telehandler repeatedly past your neighbour's yard until someone appears

You feel naked without baler twine in your pocket

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