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- Me, Myself, and I
- Bhuel...scéal libh?
6th yr in the college
Oxegen...wudn evn know wher to start. Unreal.
If a tree falls down, and only a woman hears it..
What was a tree doing in my kitchen?
- Arctic Monkeys, Oasis, Radiohead, Damien Rice, Kings of Leon, The Strokes, The Libertines, Bloc Party, Kasabian, Muse, Fightstar, Cold War kids, The Last Shadow Puppets, The Verve, Bright Eyes, Led Zep, Nirvana, Arcade Fire, Snow Patrol, Thin Lizzy, White Stripes, the Black Keys, Jamie T, Air Traffic, Queen, The Frames , Elvis Costello, Lostprophets, Bon Iver, Rolling Stones, Jimi Hendrix, Maximo Park, We Are Scientists, Stone Roses, Wolfmother, The Answer, Pete Doherty, Jeff Buckley, Maccabees, Rory Gallagher, Kanye, Friendly Fires, Kanye, Eminem, The Editors, The Gaslight Anthem, The Police, Sigur Ros, The Enemy, Bruce Springsteen, Bell X1, Stereophonics, The Streets, Red Hot Chilli Peppers
- Football, lie ins, saturday mornings, Scarlett, white chocolate, jaffa n his jokes, goin to championship matches, eatin, a gd nite out, scratchin, diet coke, cookie crumble, top gear, billy connolly, annie's soup aftr training, bananas on cornflakes, haagen daz, frankie boyle
- Losing, loose women, kerry, aving to gt outta bed durin the night for a leak . missed calls 4m private numbers, benders goin to the library to be seen, queers with their 'wee pose?=unreal', people hu act full, girls screamin when they see each othr when theyre out..no need, people askin to be in othrs top16s, girls yappin bout othr girls, kerry, tyrone, the tings tings, x factor n all that shite, pre season training, takin money outta the bank, fearne cotton, john terry, frank lampard, lady gaga lilly allen and their shit music, people putin empty wrappers bck in the celebrations tin
- How well do you know Niall? 55 Taken
Any Man who brings a camera to a Stag night may be legally killed and eaten by his mates.
It is ok for a man to cry under the following Circumstances:
a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
b. The moment Scarlett starts unbuttoning her blouse.
c. After wrecking your boss' car.
d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
e. When she is using her teeth
Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
If you've known a bloke for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.
Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mate's fridge is forbidden. Complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In
fact, even remembering your mate's birthday is strictly optional.
On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
When stumbling upon other blokes watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
Only in situations of Moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another bloke in the nuts.
Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
You must offer heartfelt and public condolences over the death of a girlfriend's cat, even if it was you who secretly set it on fire and threw it into a ceiling fan.
A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both - that's just mean.
If you complement a bloke on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
Never join your girlfriend or wife in dissing a Mate of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
Phrases that may not be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
a. Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b. C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c. Another set and we can hit the showers!
Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing:
Both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
You cannot grass on a colleague who shows up at work with a massive hangover. You may however, hide the aspirin, smear his chair with cheese, turn the brightness dial all the way down so he thinks his monitor is broken, and have him paged over the loud speaker every seven minutes.
It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
Thou shalt not buy a car with an engine capacity of less than 1.5 litres.
Thou shall not really buy a car with less than 1.8 litres, 16 valves, and a turbo.
Thou shalt not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink, lime green, Orange or sky blue.
The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with
"If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets a Playstation.
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