She was voted by Almaty Chamber of Commerce as best sex in mouth. She is number 2, or 3, best prostitute in the country of Kazakhstan

My wife, she is scared of men with chocolate face, there won’t be any around here?

I make a smell. It smell like a shit.

Yes, I have been in a movie Dirty Jew. I play the one who eh… the hero, the one who shot him.

You remind me my wife… why you laugh? She dead.

There is one singer called Shakira… sorry I laugh because in Kazakhstan this word means vagina. For example, ‘Can I touch your shakira?’ or ‘I have seen your wife’s shakira, it hangs like the mouth of a tired dog.

My 13-year-old son is travelling here by foot, with his two wives and his three childrens.” “If he survives the journey I have promised him that he can make penetration with Colombian prostitute Shakira.

I want to do a romance inside of you."

In Kazhakstan we have many hobbies: disco dancing, archery, rape and table tennis..."

If you come back with me to my country,(....) I will give you television and remote control..."

Every Englishman must have a hobby. Some like to collect the stamp, some like to make the jam, but the most fun is to a kill a little animal with a shotgun or rip them up with wild dog."

"There is land of opportunities in US of A. For man, construction work, taxi driving and accountancy. For woman, as a prostitute."

"We say in Kazakhstan, "Woman who goes with book is like horse without...Saddle.""

"We say in Kazakhstan, "You find me woman with brain, I find you a horse with...Wings.""

"In America, women can vote but horse cannot! It is the other way around in my country."

"I am very strong physique and I can hold a very large woman down for 3 hours...I am strong, I can throw rock at a gypsy from 15 metres. 10 metre if I am chained up."

"This my neighbor, Nursultan Tuleiakbay. He is pain in my assholes. I get a window from a glass, he must get a window from a glass. I get a step, he must get a step. I get a clock-radio, he cannot afford. Great success."

"My mother, she never love me. (Stifled chuckle) She say she wish she was raped by someone else."

"In my country we say to let a woman drive a car is like to let a monkey fly a plane, very dangerous yes."

My mother, she never love me. She say she wish she was raped by someone else

This my neighbor, Nursultan Tuleiakbay. He is pain in my assholes. I get a window from a glass, he must get a window from a glass. I get a step, he must get a step. I get a clock-radio, he cannot afford. Great success!

Her vagine hang like a sleeve of wizard

I hope President Bush drinks the blood of every man, woman, and child in Iraq!

My sister...she´s a...prostitute. She like to make money, high five!
Throw the Jew down the well, so my country can be free. You must grab him by his horns, and then we have a big party.

This my friend Mari. I come here for massage and, how you say? Hand relief. Every Thursday, he clean my hole

In my country we say to let a woman drive a car is like to let a monkey fly a plane, very dangerous yes.

THE RULES OF WEDDING CRASHERS

Rule #1: Never leave a fellow Crasher behind. Crashers take care of their own.
Rule #2: Never use your real name.
Rule #3: When crashing an Indian wedding, identify yourself as a well-known immigrant officer or a county lawyer.
Rule #4: No one goes home alone.
Rule #5: Never let a girl come between you and a fellow crasher.
Rule #6: Do not sit in the corner and sulk. It draws attention in a negative way. Draw attention to yourself, but on your own terms.
Rule #7: Blend in by standing out.
Rule #8: Be the life of the party.
Rule #9: Whatever it takes to get in, get in.
Rule #10: Invitations are for pussies.
Rule #11: Sensitive is good.
Rule #12: When it stops being fun, break something.
Rule #13: Bridesmaids are desperate: console them.
Rule #14: You're a distant relative of a dead cousin.
Rule #15: Fight the urge to tell the truth.
Rule #16: Always have an up-to-date family tree.
Rule #17: Every female wedding guest deserves a wedding night.
Rule #18: You love animals and children.
Rule #19: Toast in the native language if you know the native language and have practiced the toast. Do not wing it.
Rule #20: The older the better, the younger the better (see Rule below)
Rule #21: Definitely make sure she's 18.
Rule #22: You have a wedding and a reception to seal the deal. Period. No overtime.
Rule #23: There's nothing wrong with having seconds. Provided there's enough women to go around.
Rule #24: If you get outed, leave calmly. Do not run.
Rule #25: You understand she heard that but that's not what you meant.
Rule #26: Of course you love her.
Rule #27: Don't over drink. The machinery must work in order to close.
Rule #28: Make sure there's an open bar.
Rule #29: Always be a team player. Everyone needs a little help now and again.
Rule #30: Know the playbook so you can call an audible.
Rule #31: If you call an audible, always make sure your fellow Crashers know.
Rule #32: Don't commit to a relative unless you're absolutely sure that they have a pulse.
Rule #33: Never go back to your place.
Rule #34: Be gone by sunrise.
Rule #35: Breakfast is for closers.
Rule #36: Your favorite movie is "The English Patient".
Rule #37: At the reception, one hard drink or two beers max. A drunk crasher is a sloppy crasher.
Rule #38: Girls in hats tend to be proper and rarely give it up.
Rule #39: The way to a woman's bed is through the dance floor.
Rule #40: Dance with old folks and the kids. The girls will think you're "sweet."
Rule #41: Never hit on the bride -- it's a one way ticket to the pavement
Rule #42: Try not to break anything, unless you're not having fun.
Rule #43: At the service, sit in the fifth row. It's close enough to wedding party to seem like you're an invited guest. Never sit in the back. The back row just smells like crashing.
Rule #44: Create an air of mystery that involves some painful experience when interacting with the girl you're after. But don't talk about it.
Rule #45: Always remember your fake name! Rehearse it in advance and make sure you know your fellow Crasher's code-name as well!
Rule #46: The Rules of Wedding Crashing are sacred. Don't sully them by "improvising."
Rule #47: You forgot your invitation in your rush to get to the church.
Rule #48: Make sure all the single women at the wedding know you're there because you've just suffered either a terrible breakup or the death of your fiancée.
Rule #49: Always work into the conversation: "Yeah, I have tons of money. But how does one buy happiness?"
Rule #50: Be pensive! It draws out the "healer" in women.
Rule #51: Always pull out in time.
Rule #52: Tell any woman you're interested in that you'd love to stay put but you promised to help out at the homeless shelter today.
Rule #53: It's time to put your Drama Lessons in practice! Get choked up during the service. The girls will think you're "sensitive". Bring a slice of onion or artificial tears if necessary.
Rule #54: Avoid virg

I like big butts an' I cannot lie.
You otha brothas can't deny.
That when a girl walks in wit' a itty bitty waist an'
A round thing in yo' face. You get SPRUNG.
Wanna pull up tough, cuz you notice that butt was STUFFED.
Deep in the jeans she's wearin'.
I'm hooked an' I can't stop starin'.
Oh baby, I wanna get wit' ya,
An' take yo' picta.
My homeboys tried to warn me.
But that butt you got makes me so horny.
Ooh, rumpled smooth skin.
You say you wanna bet in ma Benz,
Well, use me, use me,
Cuz you ain't that average groupy.
I seen her dancin',
To Hell wit' romancin'.
She's sweat. Wet.
Got it goin' like a Turbo 'Vette.
I'm tired o' magazines
Sayin' flat butts are the thing.
Take the average black man and ask him that.
She gotta pack much back.
So fella's (YEAH), fella's (YEAH),
Does your girlfrien' got the butt? (HELL, YEAH)
So tell 'em to shake it (SHAKE IT),
Shake it (SHAKE IT)
Shake that healthy butt.
Baby got back.
(L.A. back with a Oakland booty.)
Baby got back.
(L.A. back with a Oakland booty.)
(L.A. back with a Oakland booty.)

I like 'em round and big,
An' when I'm throwin' a gig,
I jus' can't help maself,
I'm actin' like an animal.
Now here's ma scandal,
I wanna get ya home an' UH,
Double up, uh, uh.
I ain' talkin' about Playboy,
'Cause silicone parts are made for toys.
I wan' 'em real thick an' juicy.
So fin' that juicy double.
Mix Alot's in trouble,
Beggin' for a piece o' that bubble.
So I'm lookin' at rock videos.
Watchin' these bimbos
Walkin' like hoes.
You can have them bimbos.
I'll keep my women like Flo Jo.
A word to tha thick soul sistas,
I wanna get wit' ya.
I won' cuss, o' hit ya.
But I gotta be straight
When I say I wanna...
Til' the break o' dawn,
Baby, got it goin' on,
A lot o' pimps won't like this song,
Cause them punks like to hit it an' quit it,
An' I'd ratha stay an' play,
Cuz I'm long, and I'm strong,
An' I'm down to get the friction on.
So, ladies (YEAH) ladies (YEAH),
Do you wanna roll ma Mercedes? (YEAH)
Then turn aroun', stick it out,
Even white boys got ta shout.
Baby got back.
Baby got back!