Just For Laughs
---------------------
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Is that a ladder in your tights?
Or it that just a stairway to heaven??

If I said you had a great body, would you hold it against me?

Do you know how much a polar bear weighs?
(No.)
Enough to break the ice. Hi my name's (_____)

Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

Are those space pants? Cuz your ass is out of this world!

Do you have a mirror in your pocket?
(Why?)
'Cause I could see myself in your pants.

(Use index finger to call her over, then ask)
"do you always cum when you're fingered?"

True, there are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to catch and mount back at my place.

Nice Shoes. Wanna fuck?

How about you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?

Screw me if I'm wrong, but haven't we met before?

Screw me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Lindsey?

I admit, I'm kind of a geek by day... But a sex machine by night!

You have been very naughty! Go to my room!

Let's do breakfast tomorrow. Should I call you or nudge you?

Do you sleep on your stomach?
No.
Can I?

Can I flirt with you?

Be unique and different, say yes.

I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

Excuse me, but I DO think it's time we met.

Do you wash your pants with Windex? Because I can really see myself in them.

Are you from Tennessee?
Because you are the only ten I see

If I were a fly, I'd be all over you, because you're the shit!

Wow, you with those curves, and me with no brakes ...

Damn girl, you have more curves than a race track.

That outfit looks good on you ... but it would look a lot better in a crumpled heap next to my bed.

How would you like your eggs tomorrow morning?
Scrambled or fertilized?

I may not be Fred Flinstone but I can sure make your bed-rock!

Let's bypass all this bullshit and just get naked.

Girl, you must be tired 'cause you've been running through my mind all day!

Hi, my name's {name}. Remember it, you'll be screaming it later tonight!

My name is {name}, but you can call me anything at all. Just call me.

If I were to ask you for sex,
would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?

If your left leg is Thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit you in between the holidays?

I wish you were a screen door so I could slam you all day long.

Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell all my friends that we did anyway.

What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.

You: Have I shown you my magic watch? It tells me that you're not wearing any underwear ...
Girl: Nice try, I am wearing underwear.
You: Shoot ... It must be an hour fast.

1. Whats your Name?
2. Are we close?
3. What do you think of me?
4. Do you hav a crush on me?
5. Would u kiss me?
6. would u fuck me?
7. Describe me in 3 words?
8. If u Had Me for 30 Mins wat would you do?
9. What was ur first impression of me?
10. Do u still think the same?
11. What reminds u of me?
12. If you could give me anything what would it be?
13. How well do u know me?
14. What do u like best about me?
15. Ever wanted 2 tell me something u couldn't?
16. Could you ever love me?
17. Give me a nickname and explain why?
18.R u gona put this on ur blog and c wat i say bout u?

This is a real cyber sex conversation that someone posted online. It is quite possibly one of the funniest thigns i've ever read!


Wellhung: Hello,
Sweetheart: What do you look like?
Sweetheart: I am wearing an expensive red silk blouse, a black leather mini skirt and high-heeled boots. I am tanned and very buffed. I work out everyday. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?
Wellhung: I'm 6'3 and about 250 lb. I wear glasses and have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought at Wal-Mart. I'm also wearing an old T-shirt, it's got some barbecue sauce stains on it and it smells kind of funny.
Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me?
Wellhung: OK
Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my nightstand. I look up into your eyes and I'm smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and I begin to feel your huge swelling bulge.
Wellhung: I'm gulping. I'm beginning to sweat.
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.
Wellhung: Now, I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are trembling.
Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.
Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and I'm sliding it softly off.
Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silk slides off of my warm body. I'm rubbing your bulge faster now, rubbing and pulling.
Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and tears a hole in your blouse. I'm sorry.
Sweetheart: That's, OK. It wasn't really too expensive.
Wellhung: I'll pay for it.
Sweetheart: Don't worry about it! I'm wearing a lacy black bra, my soft breasts are rising and falling as I breathe harder and harder.
Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp of your bra, I think it's stuck. Do you have scissors?
Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly, I reach behind my back and undo the clasp. My bra slides off. The cool air caresses my breasts, my nipples are erect for you.
Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.
Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby, I just want to feel your tongue all over me.
Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!
Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.
Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.
Sweetheart: WHAT?
Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.
Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off of my breasts with the remains of my blouse.
Wellhung: I'm taking your sopping wet blouse from you and throwing it in the corner of the room.
Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.
Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman! Your hands are cold! Yeee!
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.
Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out and nibbling on you. ummm, wait a second.
Sweetheart: What's the matter?
Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.
Sweetheart: Are you OK?
Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.
Sweetheart: Is there anything I can do to help?
Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen. Choking wildly. Looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups??
Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink!
Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There that's better.
Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.
Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.
Sweetheart: I'm aching for you lover.
Wellhung: Now I'm drying the cup. I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait it's dark, I'm lost. Where is the bedroom?
Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.
Wellhung: I found it.
Sweetheart: I'm tugging off your pants. I want you so badly.
Wellhung: Me too.
Sweetheart: I kiss you passionately. Our naked bodies pressed against each other.
Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It