It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it
to the wall.

She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like
underpants in a tumble dryer

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a
bowling ball wouldn't.

McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a paper bag
filled with vegetable soup.

Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the
centre

The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating
electric fan set on medium.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, kinda' like, sorta, whatever.

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you
fry them in hot grease

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across
the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one
having left Ballina at 6:36 pm travelling at 55 mph, the other from
Claremorris 4:19pm at a speed of 35 mph.

The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the full stop after the
Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had
also never met.

The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin
sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a
play.

The red brick wall was the colour of a brick-red crayon.

Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only
one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.

Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

The plan was simple, like my brother Phil. But unlike Phil, this
plan just might work.

The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not
eating for while.

"Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a student
on 50 cent-a-pint night.

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either,
but a real duck that was actually lame.Maybe from stepping on a
landmine or something.

Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can
tell butter from the "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" ad.

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes
just before it throws up.

It came down the stairs looking very much like something no-one had
ever seen before.

The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg
behind her, like a dog at a lamppost.

The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated
because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a
surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free cashpoint.

It was a working class tradition, like fathers chasing kids around
with their power tools.

He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as
if she were a dustcart reversing.

She was as easy as the Independent crossword.

She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was
room-temperature British beef.

Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a first-generation
thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened.

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other
sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

thursday...some guy shat on a girls vadge... i really want to know what line he used to get that one?
Feargal has pop up tent genius, craven has a fall down tent.
Dolan is drug dealer.
silent disco cancelled.
Niamh aka Eileen from Birr looks like some one from who vill and sounds funny horse. she will say anythin to let u stay in your tent. she has a "boyfriend" though. and she is called Eileen because Johnny wants to "come on Eileen".
fuckin up ciara Mc Manus's tent. very funny. felt guilty today though.
slept in Derry boys empty tent.

Friday...the rest of the campers come.
find Daragh quinn. up all night. dropped a shit in the green changin tent.
shit admired by passers by all day
Evin canlon ham sandwich keeps me goin.
got vip pass free. pure luck. saw dave fanning and ray sha. party boy guy was around some where. bought a burger for 9.50 was delicious.
interpoo sucked.
Kings of Leon from the pit amazing.
Lads from cork and porto hilarious,
slept in Galway tent for awhile then another nap in darraghs

Saturday. woke up with galway people. thanks for the food and cans. jew and baby jokes fly out, gas crack.
some died in blue.
Tings Tings class
Vampire weekend better
free cones in vip better yet.
Seasick Steve uniquely brilliant
MGMT in the tent were mental. had to stop while people climbed tent poles. one bitch climbed to the top, in all honesty hope she was the one who was sexually assaulted.
Zutons were good. random ginger nut was gas, cillian knows who i mean
The National are looneys, great act if u know their songs.
wondered in to red 14 with feargal. find cousin and friends on the way back. enjoy hearin they were bet by meath minors. preposition every man on the way back to the tents with longford boys.
slept with Feargal and Craven after my date with Feargal.

Sunday:
great barbeque

man in tower recieves heaps of abuse for being a dickhead. girl starts climbing up the ladder; "that's my chair" "get the fuck down now!!"
people start throwing stuff at man in tower. bottle bounces off metal bar inches away from his head: cork accent;"where the fuck did that come from?"
ground support arrives: "i'm getting hit from every angle. i've been hit with a bootle, a sausage and an orange so far."
guy from Palmerstown continues abuse. man in tower is talkin to a girl. "what are u even tryin for no girl would be interested in you" "Cork man has better chance than any Dub" Palmerstown: " you're only a cork wanker"
man in tower loses it and chases him. he was lethal quick. he catches him but thn other stewards tell him to get back in the tower and stop chasin people


great mosh pit at pigeon detectives better one at rage with topless guys
Rage were epic. one of the greatest bands live
stayed up all night.
Feargal drank rocket fuel. mix of red, green and blue/black absinth
slagged the shit out of longford girls while prepossitioning kildare mingers.
didnt sleep

FRIDAY 11TH JULY 08:

Main Stage: Kings of Leon, The Coronas.

Green Room: Mundy, Aslan,
New Band Stage/Futures: The Metros,


SATURDAY 12TH JULY 08:

Main Stage: The Verve, Scouting For Girls
The o2 Stage: The Zutons, The Enemy,
Green Room: Vampire Weekend, The Ting Tings, Delays

Pet Sounds: The National, Seasick Steve,



SUNDAY 13TH JULY 08:

Main Stage: Rage Against The Machine, Kaiser Chiefs, The Fratellis, The Kooks, The Blizzards,
The O2 Stage: The Raconteurs, Kate Nash, The Pigeon Detectives, The Subways.
Green Room: The Pogues, The Whigs.
Pet Sounds: The Swell Season featuring Glen Hansard & Markéta Irglová, MGMT, Delorentos, Lightspeed Champion,