song:another Irish drinking song

artist:da vinic's notebook

(lyric's)
Gather 'round, ye lads and lasses, set ye for a while
And hearken to me mournful tale about the Emerald Isle
Let's all raise our glasses high to friends and family gone
And lift our voices in another Irish drinking song

Consumption took me mother and me father got the pox
Me brother drank the whiskey 'til he wound up in a box
My other brother in the Troubles met with his demise
My sister has forever closed her smiling Irish eyes

CHORUS:
Now everybody's died
So until our tears are dried
We'll drink and drink and drink and drink,
and then we'll drink some more
We'll dance and sing and fight
until the early morning light
Then we'll throw up, pass out, wake up, and then go drinking once again

Kenny was killed in Kilkenny and Claire, she died in Clare
Tip from Tipperary died out in the Derry air
Shannon jumped into the River Shannon back in June
Ernie fell into the Erne, and Tom is in the Toome

"Cleanliness is godliness" me Uncle Pat would sing
He broke his neck a'slippin' on a bar of Irish Spring
O'Grady, he was 80 though his bride was just a pup
He died upon the honeymoon when she got his Irish up

CHORUS

Joe Murphy fought with Reilly near the banks of old Doneen
He took out his shillelagh and he stabbed him in the spleen
Crazy Uncle Mike believed he was a leprechaun -
In fact he's just a leper, and his arms and legs are gone

When Timmy Johnson broke his neck it was a cryin' shame
He wasn't really Irish, but he went to Notre Dame
McNamara crossed the street and by a bus was hit
But he was just a Scotsman, so nobody gave a (ARRGHH)

CHORUS

Me drunken Uncle Brendan tried to drive home from the bar
The road rose up to meet him when he fell out of his car
Irony was what befell my great-grand Uncle Sam
He choked upon the very last potato in the land

Conor lived in Ulster town, he used to smuggle arms
Until the British killed him and cut off his lucky charms
And dear old Father Flanagan, who left the lord's employ
Drunk on sacramental wine, beneath the altar boy

CHORUS

(slower)

Someday soon I'll leave this world of pain and toil and sin
The Lord will take me by the hand to join all of me kin
Me only wish is when the Savior comes for me and you

(a tempo)

He kills the cast of Riverdance, and Michael Flatley too

CHORUS (2x)

01. You walk in step with people infront of you.

02. You walk 120 steps in a minute.

03. You judge how shiny people's shoes/sharp people's creases are.

04. You refer to normal people as "Civvies".

05. You answer only to your Last Name and/or rank.

06. You're really good at getting changed in vehicles.

07. You start using phrases like "shit hot", "gash", "gucci" and "good drills".

08. You no longer think flying aerobatics is impressive.

09. You think making up drill moves is 'fun'.

10. You say "Sir" and "Ma'am" to most adults.

11. Especially if they're doing a register of some kind.

12. You ALWAYS start off on your left foot.

13. You know how to spell 'epaulette'.

14. ..and get pissed off when people refer to them as 'flaps' or something.

15. You find polishing shoes relaxing.

16. You lock your arms in when going upstairs.

17. You get annoyed if you see civvy jackets with chevrons on (particularly if they're a higher rank than you)

18. You put tent pegs in at 45 degrees without being told.

19. You know what a 'Cuban 8' is.

20. You sometimes think "5th Feb 1941" when asked your birthday.

21. You correct people on the pronounciation of 'Corps'.

22. You wish you played an instrument/different instrument just so you
could get the silver badge.

23. You've considered forming a one man sqn band to get the badge.

24. You KNOW classification means everything to cadets - and it's funny.

25. You've started opening stories by saying "Well, back when I was a Cpl.."

26. You thought at least once "ooh shiney"

27. When you start thinking "left, right, left, right" as you walk.

28. You think ANYTHING is worth doing if you get a badge.

29. You see Second Class cadets as second rate people (but don't get what's wrong).

30. You're shocked when someone doesn't know what 'NCO' stands for.

31. You've started using the phrase "how the fuck did he/she get cpl?!" too much.

32. You're satisfied if hotels have real beds.

33. You automatically look up to the sky if you hear a plane.. and go apeshit if it's an RAF one.

34. Everyone thinks you're a plane geek (even though you insist you're
rubbish at air rec).

35. You know places in Scotland because of their RAF stations.

36. You no longer say "One hundred and something", every digit is it's
own - "174" - unless it's four digits but below 2000 then it's like "1940"!

37. You just plain DON'T LIKE Wilmslow.

38. You'd rather iron your uniform than do that homework.

39. You know 'webbing' has nothing to do with Spiderman.

40. The standard of Officer's drill pisses you off.

41. You associate places with Squadron numbers.

42. You think First Class Corporals are a joke.

43. You've had at least one bf/gf stand to attention for you. (in more ways than one)

44. People realise why you're a CWO and you lose some friends.

45. You have at least 2 officer's numbers on your mobile.

46. You refer to knives, forks and spoons as 'KFS'.

47. You hate it when people flout the Countryside Code on school / educational trips.

48. You question the leadership abilities of your managers.

49. You know the 'dirty' version of the 6 Ps.

50. You're mates think you're a nympho because you talk about sex all
the time (but that's all you ever seem to do in cadets anyway).

51. You wish you could have that fruit cordial that all the RAF stations have..

52. You've seen Top Gun.. more than three times.

53. You call your friends by their last name.

54. You pity those who can't spell "sergeant".

55. You don't get told off by anyone.. because they wouldn't dare..

56. You know what 'tick tocking' is.. and physically CAN'T do it.

57. You can remember drill sequences with 50+ maneouvres but that oral
presentation still evades you..

58. You know JUST where to find a generic risk assessment for Gardening / Table tenni

think about it
Why the sun lightens our hair,
but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara
with their mouth closed?

Why you don't ever see the headline:
"Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?

Why Doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why you have to click on "Start"
to stop Windows 98?

Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavour, while dishwashing liquid
is made with real lemons?

Why the man who invests all your money is called a "Broker"?

Why there isn't mouse flavoured cat food?

Who tastes dog food when it has a
"new & improved" flavour?

Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?

Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the
indestructible black box?

Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?

Why they are called apartments when
they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro,
is Congress the opposite of progress?

Why they call the airport "the terminal"
if flying is so safe?

AND...

In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Myer hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping".
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Chips:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Palmolive soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap".
(And that would be how???)

On some frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost".
(But, it's just a suggestion).

On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert
(printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down".
(Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating".
(And you thought????...)

On packaging for a K-Mart iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body".
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication".
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness".
(And...I'm taking this because???)

On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only".
(As opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use".
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Nobby's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts".
(Talk about a news flash!)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts".
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

I don't blame the company, I blame the parents for this one:
On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".

On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the
stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe
even a chuckle)...in other words send it to everyone. We all need to
smile every once in a while