The barrel fire's fading
My pals are disappearing
Another night is passing but I won't go
It's 2AM at townie
and things are going my way
Three buds, a glove and a foot of snow
There's two little shits
Selling joints on the hill
And the kids down the lots
Are burning cruisers for a thrill
See, we had each other
It was us against the world
Famous for nothing
Yeah, nothing was our world

[Chorus:]
Well these lie won't save me
Don't you know, don't you know
From the time that mad me
Here we go, here we go

The courts are filling up
All the kids are coming down
For a head start on the troubles
On a long night on the town
Yeah, thank God it's Saturday
And half my problems go away
Sure the big ones on the way
But I know how to handle them
9 to 3 on weekdays
On the hour Sundays
The good lord was calling me
But I wasn't up
For the convent to thue rectory
And over in the sacristy
It's a goddamn travest
And that's just my luck

[Chorus]

Here we go!
Their gang went my way for basketball
My gang went their way for alcohol
When we met it wasn't pretty at all
Still the bells of St. Mary's kept ringing

Scotty doesn't know,
That Fionna and me,
Do it in my van every Sunday.

She tells him shes in church,
But she doesn't go,
Still shes on her knees, and...

Scotty doens't know, oh.
Scotty doesn't know-oh.
So don't tell Scotty!
Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't know.
SO DON'T TELL SCOTTY!

Fionna says shes out shopping,
But shes under me and I'm not stopping.

Cuz Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't know.
So don't tell Scotty.
Scotty doesn't knoooooow....
DON'T TELL SCOTTY!

I can't believe he's so trusting,
While I'm right behind you thrusting.

Fionna's got him on the phone,
and she's trying not to moan.
It's a three way call,
and he knows nothing.
NOTHING!!!

Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't know,
Don't tell Scotty.
Cuz Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't knoooooow....
SO DON'T TELL SCOTTY!

We'll put on a show, everyone will go.
Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't knoooooow....

The, parking lot, why not?
It's so cool when you're on top.
His front lawn, in the snow.
Laughing so hard, cuz...

Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't know.

I did her on his birthday.

Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't know,
Don't tell Scotty.
Scotty doesn't knoooooow....

Scotty will know,
Scotty has to know,
Scotty's gotta know,
Gonna tell Scotty,
Gonna tell him myself.

Scotty has to know,
Scotty has to know,
Scotty has to,
Scotty has to,
Scotty has to go!

Scotty doesn't know,
(Don't tell Scotty)
Scotty doesn't know,
(Don't tell Scotty)
Scotty doesn't know...
Scotty's gotta go!

Some say he has no fear, and that he can catch fish with his tongue. All we know is, he's called The Stig.

Some say he sleeps upside down like a bat, and that he likes his eggs sunny side up. All we know is, he's called The Stig.

Some say his teeth glow in the dark, and that All his potted plants are called Steve. All we know is, he's called The Stig.

Some say He sucks moisture from ducks, and that He sucks moisture from ducks. All we know is, he's called The Stig.

Some say long before anyone else he realised that Jade Goody was a racist, pig-faced, waste of blood & organs, and that his heart ticks like a watch. All we know is, he's called The Stig.

Some say the outline of his left nipple is exactly the same shape as the Nürburgring, and that he once had a viscous knife fight with Anthea Turner. All we know is, he's called The Stig.

Some say His helmet was modelled on Britney Spears' head, and that if given an important job to do, he'll skive off and play croquet. All we know is, he's called The Stig.

Some say he lives in a tree, and that if he could be bothered, he could crack the Da Vinci code in 43 seconds. All we know is, he's called The Stig.

Some say he is illegal in 17 U.S. states, and that He was thrown out of the Brit Awards for goosing Russel Brand. All we know is, he's called The Stig.