50 THINGS THAT CHANGE WHEN YOU LEAVE COLLEGE!! 537 days ago


1. 6:00 am is when you get up, not when you go to sleep
2. Having sex in a single bed is absurd.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. Your fantasies of having sex with three women with lesbian tendencies are replaced by fantasies of having sex with anyone at all.
5. You don't volunteer for clinical trials at the local hospital.
6. You know all of the people sleeping in your house.
7. You hear your favourite song in the lift at work.
8. Informative TV does not include Richard and Judy.
9. The bank manager doesn't write threatening letters any more.
10. You carry an umbrella.
11. Seven-day benders are no longer realistic.
12. You don't go to Tesco with all your friends.
13. You have standing orders and direct debits.
14. The heating works in your house.
15. Your friends marry and divorce instead of get together and break-up.
16. You pay the government thousands of pounds every year.
17. You go from 130 days of holidays to 20.
18. Jeans and a jumper no longer qualify as 'dressed up'.
19. You're the one calling the police because those damn kids nextdoor won't turn down the stereo.
20. You get out of bed in the morning even if it's raining.
21. Washing up is not an annual ritual.
22. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
24. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
25. You feed your dog Pal instead of McDonalds.
26. You don't get ideas for drinks from local tramps.
27. You don't put half-finished curries in the fridge to eat later.
28. You don't spend half your day strategically planning pub crawls.
30. You no longer have a strange attraction to road signs when drunk.
31. Sleeping in the lounge is a no-no.
32. You can't persuade your flatmates to 'Drink till dawn'.
33. You don't spend Wednesday afternoons in the pub.
34. You always know where you are when you wake up.
35. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.
36. A fire in the kitchen is not a laugh.
37. You go to the chemist for Panadol and antacids, not condoms and pregnancy test kits.
38. A bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff'.
39. You can remember the name of the person you wake up next to.
40. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
41. You don't have mice living in your kitchen.
42. Grocery lists are longer than pot noodles & cans of lager.
43. You don't go to Lidl to buy Vodka.
44. You have vacuumed.
45. Breaking the law means doing 40 in a 30 zone.
46. 'I just can't drink the way I used to' replaces 'I'm never going to drink that much again'.
47. Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
48. You don't experiment with banned substances.
49. You don't get drunk at home, to save money, before going to a pub.
50. Lunchtime is not 'the morning'.

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. John
2. brad
3. batman

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1.my brown shoes
2.my 7th toe
3.my wife angelina

THREE THINGS YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1.my ex-jennifer
2 being so good at everything. .
3.living near wicklow

THREE THINGS U DONT UNDERSTAND
1.women
2.why jennifer wont piss off!!
3.mascara

THREE THINGS THAT ANNOY YOU:
1.jennifer
2.when ur biscuit breaks off into ur cup of tea
3.price of petrol

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1.tampons
2.shuttlecocks
3.mic ”gearbox” pender

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1.me
2.myself
3.i

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1.bow tie
2.
3.

THREE THINGS ON MY DESK
1.computer screen
2.keyboard
3.mouse

THREE THINGS YOU SAY THE MOST:
1.quintessential
2.horrendous
3.abhorrent

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS/SINGER AT THE MOMENT:
1.razorlight
2.Bruce Springsteen
3.Artic Monkeys

THREE PEOPLE YOU SPEND THE MOST TIME WITH:
1 angelina
2.Alfred
3.superman

THREE THNGS YOU WOULD WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP
1. pre-nup
2. pre-nup
3. pre-nup

THREE THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1.looks
2.looks
3.looks

THREE THINGS YOU CAN'T DO:
1.
2.
3.

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1.olympic handball
2.reading the dictionary
3.beatin the crap outa superman

THREE THINGS YOU WANT REALLY BAD RIGHT NOW:
1.lois lane
2.cheryl tweedy
3.rhona mitra


THREE PLACES YOU WOULD GO ON VACATION:
1.brazil
2.the moon
3.court town

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1.cheryl tweedy
2.lois lane
3.rhona mitra

Today I wrote in my blog.