Laid to waste my greatest efforts.
I, Child, succumb only to my morose and decadent throne.
A Palace of further turmoil.

Bar the doors.
I proclaim war upon daylight.

Never shall it brighten the hem of garment.
Never too, may my hall rejoice in song, in heart filled celebration.
Not a colour, nor a whisper of warmth.
Leave me, you putrid; of good cheer.

For I have been accosted by my brother!
On a perilous route, to a worthless cause.

Awakening screams of panic, do not alarm the hardest of hearts.
Remain still, ignorant.
Find me room, only to whimper.
Space also, to cry aloud.
Bitter and heaving.

Soulless.
A heart of change, captured in the frame of physical innocence.
My kingdom holds no citizens.
I will never abandon

Do not see me to rest.
For rousing to promise i cannot bare.
Depart this holy dread.
As I plead for sleep eternal.


-Written by Pete Victorious, venting after a fairly crap series of days.

Dear mum and dad.
If you found this then obviously you went to change my sheets.
Hah!
Busted!
Im writing this whilst still inside this lovely house, a house which you guys bought keeping in mind the ability to raise your kids in it.
You’ve been the greatest parents.
It’s all a credit to you.
Just last night I sat down after drumming to a song which I found hard 4 years ago, feeling amazed at how simple it seems now.
Again, all credit to you guys.
You have never ceased to encourage all of your kids in there given talents, reminding us that we should pursue what it is that we love, and im going to do just that.
Thank you Mum and Dad.
Thanks for paying for drum lessons, helping me out with my drum kits and gear, helping me grow, helping me become a man.
Dad, again credit to you, because you’ve been an excellent example to me, of what a man should be, I aspire to be as good a father as you have been to me.
Thank you.
Mum, you’re a total inspiration, when we talked about how "Senor Honcho" treated you the other night I really just felt that you don’t get valued for the incredible person you are.
You’re worth more than gold, or precious stones in general, because you were made in the image of the almighty God.

I still dream of Rongopai place, too much I think, our first house that I can clearly remember. How I have grown since then, which sucks.
Because really, I don’t wanna grow up, I don’t wanna leave home; I don’t mind staying with you guys until im in my 40’s but that’s not up to me.
Its all God’s will, he’s has opened a door for me to achieve my future, and all my dreams.
And im thankful all around for my wonderful life thus far.
I know I never told you I loved you much because in truth, ive always found it hard to do.
Saying “I love you” is something hard for me because everyday im growing to know what love really is.
And this family is love.
It took me 17 years to realise this.
So officially for the record
I love you guys.

Ill make more of an effort to say this in person this year.

Even as I write this, it’s really difficult to be strong in this situation.
Because Im so weakened by all of this experience.
Many a tear was shed during the writing of this.

I couldn’t be anymore proud of having you as my parents.
For the time, money, consideration, thoughtfulness, care, attention, encouragement and inspiration, moral support, understanding, insight, patience, prayers, perseverance, discipline, wisdom imparted, and hosting a happy home.
I am severely grateful.

I do pray that God blesses you (my parents) and the rest of our family as much as I feel blessed to be apart of it.
I know im not going to die, im just leaving for a while.

Mum, Dad, even my friends are totally envious of you.
Telise and I had a running joke going that you all told her that she was now adopted and were to be living with us.

You have prepared me, to be all that I am, and have given me the most important tools for my life as an independent young adult.

I know you don’t like tattoos Dad, but regardless of that; im having you both incorporated into my “body art” in the future.
Because tattooing names sucks, but family is forever.

Please take care of manic and dusty (the cats.)
They need friends, manic more so this year.
Dad ensure the lawns are cut circular with no mulcher, on 1.
Mum, please don’t work to hard, you mean a lot to me, your work ethic is astounding, and I envy your dedication.
Like I said it sucked to see how exhausted you were when came home after busting your female balls all day.

Dad, take it easy, go for a paddle this year, golf, start doing things that you want to do, because you’ve earned it well and truly.


In all.
Im happy.

I cannot thank you both enough.
Your in my prayers, thoughts, and heart always.
Love you.

☺ Peter George Dickinson- Your youngest son.

Well good morning kids.
I havent been up this early since I was working at the save.
its 3.05 on the 2nd of febuary and its not 20 days and counting until my sweet 18th birthday before i reach adult hood within the eyes of many.
No thanks.
I aim to be an 85 year old boy.
Which yes does involve hitting on the elderly home nurses.
However fat they may be, containing names like "cheryl"
And so forth.
Now thats bloody kiwi.

I have journeyed rather far in the past while.
To sydney and back, then to hamilton for parachute, in search of nothing.
For I know who I am in God, and what promises do await me.
And yes I very excite.
Musically I want to focus on what I have and what I want more of, which is international recognition.
Im not vein i swear, I just want to be the best, it's a vision I have.
I am seriously thinking about becoming a DJ.
My taste in music is too epic.
It stems really really far.

However I would be a late night one, loading up on caffine before work etc.
I miss work, yes I miss the "bunch of low lifes" that constitues what to me was my ministry field.
It was my first hand chance to bear salt and light into the world of lost thought patterns and lives existing purely in the dead of night.
How the sun rises.
Only with pure resentment.

Those poor guys, I really do hope the find vision ay, my heart goes out to them everytime.

Here I am, waiting to hold you.
I simply adore old trance records.

Any half decent scene kid would have cottoned onto the fact that not only is it cool to dance to, but its increddibly emotional.
Music is a really powerful medium, for those who didnt know.
Imagine watching the ad for sony bravia tv's with the bouncy balls without the jose gonzales song "heartbeats".
Would that ad be as effective?

Interesting isnt it.
In Australia, we visited kings cross, yes as a dodgy joke.
But ultimately I wanted to take myself to ground zero of where the glorified absence of God was in this contemporary backdrop.
I prayed throughout my ordeal that I would he would just take me to the broken, to the ruined.
I glanced up and I saw a woman sitting on the edge of balcony, drunk out of her mind, staring idoly into nothingness, she could have jumped at anytime if she wanted to.
What do you say to a woman like that 20 metres up from you?
When every floor below her had a party going on.

I saw a woman standing outside of a strip club, scantily clad, she was being paid to be eyed up by men and woman totally lacking vision, only looking to fill there temporary glazed sights on her.
How would that feel?
Exposing yourself, night after night, on the street.
Allowing the world to see your state in life, your most vunerable.
Watched by all, by saints and sinners.
Redeemed by money?
How do you get to that state in life?
My heart goes out to these people ay, I keep asking amongst it
"God, where are you?"
Only to have the reply of my heart tightening in my chest and be secretly moved to silent tears.

Insomnia is a gentle but painful thing, currently im listening to very old incubus, breaking benjamin, and things which got me into rock in the first place.
Bands unafraid to write damn good songs with a slightly lower tuning than your regular rock band.

You can tell what im organising my thoughts into cant you?
Dont be fussed if this makes little sense, I am afterall the bi-product of two v's and sleep deprivation.
I tell you right now I could stock every product in isles 1 and 2.
What I wouldnt give for that excercise now a days.
Holidays are great, but what are they really?
A chance to be lazy?

Does anyone remember when the veronica's were onto something when they were screaming in there live shows?

Excuse the rhetorical questions, its my chance for me to use them so I will do so liberally.
I hate growing up, really I do.
Everyone changes and innocence becomes something gay to be had.
Its the rush now to get money, get a job, get possessions, get gir