Mac: But our shenanigans are cheeky and fun!

Thorny: [referring to Farva] Yeah, and his shenanigans are cruel and tragic.

Foster: [after a pause] Which... makes them not really shenanigans at all.

Mac: [in a silly voice] Evil shenanigans!

Captain O'Hagan: I swear to God I'm going to pistol whip the next guy who says, " Shenanigans."

Mac: Hey Farva what's the name of that restaurant you like with all the goofy shit on the walls and the mozzarella sticks?

Farva: You mean Shenanigans?

Mac: OOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Thorny: OOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
[as they hand the Captain their pistols]

---

[Having pulled over a speeding driver.]

Mac: All right, how about Cat Game?

Foster: Cat Game? What's the record?

Mac: Thorny did six, but I think you can do ten.

Foster: Ten? Starting right meow?

[They go up to the car.]

Driver: Sorry about the...

Foster: All right meow. Hand over your license and registration.

[The man gives him his license.]

Foster: Your registration? Hurry up meow.

Driver: [laughing] Sorry.

Foster: Is there something funny here boy?

Driver: Oh, no.

Foster: Then why you laughing, Mister... Larry Johnson?

[Foster stares at him.]

Foster: All right meow, where were we?

Driver: Excuse me, are you saying meow?

Foster: Am I saying meow?

Driver: I thought...

Foster: Don't think boy. Meow, do you know how fast you were going?

[The man laughs.]

Foster: Meow. What is so damn funny?

Driver: I could have sworn you said meow.

Foster: Do I look like a cat to you, boy? Am I jumpin' around all nimbly-bimbly from tree to tree? Am I drinking milk from a saucer? DO YOU SEE ME EATING MICE?

[The man is uncontrollably laughing.]

Foster: You stop laughing right meow!

Driver: [Stops and swallows hard.] Yes sir.

Foster: Meow, I'm gonna have to give you a ticket on this one. No buts meow. It's the law.

[Rips off the ticket and hands it to the man.]

Foster: Not so funny meow, is it?

[Foster gets up to leave, but Mac shakes his hands at him, indicating only nine meows.]

Foster: Meow!


--

Mac: How's your shooting, Thorny?

Ramathorne: Good. I've been dead on all morning.

[He holds up a target with a tight group in the chest. Mac points to a bullet hole in the target's head.]

Ramathorne: Who, that little guy? I wouldn't worry about that little guy.


--

Farva: Give me a double bacon cheeseburger.
Dimpus Burger Guy: [into mic] Double baco cheeseburger. It's for a cop.
Farva: What the hell's that all about? You gonna spit in it now?
Dimpus Burger Guy: No, I just told him that so he makes it good.
[into mic]
Dimpus Burger Guy: Don't spit in that cop's burger.
Farva: Yeah, thanks.
Second Dimpus Guy: Roger, holding the spit.
Farva: Gimme a pie... apple.
Dimpus Burger Guy: Want me to hold the spit? Hah, just kidding officer Farva.
[pause]
Dimpus Burger Guy: Want me to dimpa-size your meal for 25 cents?
Farva: Want me to punch-a-size your face, for free?
Dimpus Burger Guy: It's only 25 cents, and look how much more you get.
Thorny: Look, kid, he doesn't want it.
Farva: I can handle this, Thorn. I don't want it!
Dimpus Burger Guy: Uhh, right. Beverage?
Farva: Gimme a litre o' cola.
Dimpus Burger Guy: What?
Farva: [Annoyed] A litre o' cola.
Dimpus Burger Guy: [into mic] Litrecola? Do we sell litrecola?
Thorny: Will you just order a large, Farva?
Farva: I don't want a large farva. I want a goddamn litre o' cola!
Dimpus Burger Guy: [to Farva] I don't know what that is!
Farva: [slowly starts shouting] Litre is French for...
[grabs burger kid by shirt]
Farva: ... give me my fuckin' cola before I break YOUR FUCKIN' LIP!

--

Move that gigantic cotton candy!!!
God dammit...how's the view from sugar heaven bitch!!

--

Captain in Irish voice: I'll believe that when me shit turns purple and smells like rainbow sherbet.

--

Farva: Meow? Hell, for 20 bucks I'll call the guy

hey i found this thingo on my frend kirsties bebo page i like it coz its got good meaning and is so true

Isnt it funi that wen u go shopping with ur frends u look down @ the girl with black jeans & studs, but u smile at the girl wearing a mini and a shirt that barely covers anything?

Isnt it funi how u can change ur music tastes to impress a guy but wen it comes to a girl who likes her own music and her own style you give her a mouthful?

ISNT IT FUNNY that a guy can get away with being a gangster but an emo gets a mouthful from everyone?

Are you laughing?

Isnt it that an emo can be quiet all through the week but gets more shit than the girl who sleeps around and sells her virginity?

ISNT IT FUNNY that u dont mind your friends drinking & smoking but the minute someone mensions emo music u have to give them a lecture on mellow dramatic teenage outcasts?

im not laughing

ITS SO FUNNY that you and your friends can make a girls life hell and not know a thing about the silent battle she may be fighting?

isnt it funny that you can call emos, punks, goths the retards but still get through the day without an inch of guilt in your heart?

HOW CAN YOU CALL A GIRL A POSER, HOW CAN YOU SAY "YOUR NOT EMO" OR "ATTENSION SEEKER" WITHOUT SPENDING A SECOND TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY THERE ARE CUTS ON HER WRISTS AND WHY SHE SPENDS HER LUNCH HOURS CRYING INSTEAD OF LAUGHING WITH FRIENDS?

KEEP ON LUAGHING!

isnt it funny how you can say and do all these things without any idea of whats going on in this persons life

with out knowing her situation with her friends

or her family

or her LIFE

BRAVE ISNT UP IN STAGE AND STRIPPING

BRAVE IS NOT SAYING A SPEECH

OR DUMPING YOUR BOYFRIEND

BRAVE IS...

GOING TO SCHOOL ON FREE DRESS DAY AND NOT FOR A SECOND CARE WHAT THE WHORES AROUND YOU ARE SAYING ABOUT YOUR CLOTHES

ITS LISTENING TO YOUR OWN MUSIC AND BEING PROUD OF IT

ITS GOING THROUGH EVERYDAY WITH THE THINGS PEOPLE SAY TO YOUR FACE OR BEHIND YOU BACK AND STILL KEEP QUIET

ITS KNOWING WHAT YOUR 'FRIENDS' ARE SAYING ABOUT YOU AND STILL CALLING THEM YOUR FRIENDS

BRAVE IS KNOW THAT TOMORROW IS A BRIGHT AND HAPPY FUTURE

AND ITS ANOTHER DAY OF BITCHING AND DODGEING RUMOURS

KEEP ON LAUGHING!

Dash may be the happiest dinosaur that ever existed.
Because Dash loves to eat chocolate eggs.
And Easter, as we all know is egg time!
Dash is better at finding chocolate eggs then any other creature that ever existed, Ever.
With a big nose for sniffing out chocolate - and sharp teeth for biting through the choclatiest chocolate.
Dash finds heaps and heaps of eggs.
Dash finds the eggs and hides them inside the larger eggs of other dinosaurs.
Then instantly Dash is off,Racing around to find another.
Fortunately for us, Dash is also the most forgetable dinosaur ever.
Dash can never remember where the treats are hidden.
Which is why, at Easter time, If you look carfully,You'll find Eggosaur eggs in the oddest places.
And if your very, very quiet,
You might even hear Dash!







that my friends is from the back of my easter egg box!!
aint it cool!