1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know
where my watch is pal, where the f*ck is yours? Do I point at my
crotch
when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire
room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change
the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too".
F*cking right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it
is. Why the f*ck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do
people
do this? Who and where are they?

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No
tosser, I paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the f*cking
floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?. Didn't really give me a
choice there, did you sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new,
then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement,
then there must have been something before it.

8. When people say "life is short". What the f*ck?? Life is the
longest
damn thing anyone ever f*cking does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come
yet?. If the bus came would I be standing here, Knob head?

10. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'.
So
what did they used to be? ears, Wellington boots?

11. When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No
it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.

12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an
image I really didn't need.

13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you if you don't
insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering..... It has to be a
McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger gets blank looks. Well I'll
have
a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you f*cking McTosser.

1. Men are like ........Laxatives ...... They irritate the shit out of
you.

2. Men are like ........ Bananas ...... The older they get, the less
firm they are.


3. Men are like ........ Weather ..... Nothing can be done to change
them..

4. Men are like ........ Blenders ..... You need One, but you're not
quite sure why.

5. Men are like ....... Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, & they
usually head right for your hips.

6. Men are like ....... Commercials ...... You can't believe a word they
say.

7. Men are like ........ Department Stores ..... Their clothes are
always 1/2 off.

8. Men are like ........ Government Bonds ..... They take soooooooo long
to mature.

9. Men are like ....... Mascara ...... They usually run at the first
sign of emotion.

10. Men are like ....... Popcorn . ..... They satisfy you, but only for
a little while.

11. Men are like . Snowstorms ............. You never know when they're
coming,
how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

12. Men are like ........ Lava Lamps ..... Fun to look at, but not very
bright.

13. Men are like ........ Parking Spots . All the good ones are taken,
the rest are handicapped.

1 who are u ??.....
2 are we frends ?? ....
3 when n how did we meet ?? ...
4 do u have a crush n me ?? ..
5 have u eva wanted 2 punch me ?? ...
6 give me a nickname n explain why ?? ...
7 describe me in 1 word ?? ..
8 what was ur first impression ov me ?? ..
9 do u still fink a same ?? ..
10 what reminds u ov me ?? ...
11 if u cud give me anyting wat wud it be ?? ..
12 hw well do u know me ?? ..
13 whens da last time u saw me ?? ..
14 eva wanted 2 tell me sumtin u cudnt ?? ...
15 are goin 2 put dis on ur blog and see wat i sat bout u ?