If you are using Internet Explorer 6, you may not have the best Bebo experience. Please consider upgrading.
- I'm meteor now, text me! i'm ever so lonely
- Me, Myself, and I
- The details of my life are quite inconsequential, however if you insist...
Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet.
My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.
My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles.
There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.
- The Other Half Of Me
he can poo in my crane any day
- I play many, not great at any. I support man u but my beliefs have been waivering due to recent shiteness.
- Don't really like fizzy drinks anymore. I like the odd sugary tea but I'm not good at holding it, unlike Hugo who is the biggest tea heavy-weight that i know. He can drink three cups of tea in one night!
- not-rude swear words
- darn, golly gosh, oopsy daisys, oh dear, fiddle sticks, fudge, sugar, drat, and my person favourite CRABAPPLES!
- I HATE....
- Chain Mail!! Using the slag 'GAY' for everything e.g. "extra homework, that is soo gay" NO IT IS NOT!! extra homework is not sexually attracted to men, it does not drop anchor in poo bay! , FAKE TAN!!!, 'I have no top 16!!!!!!!!!!' people
close Video Box
Having AutoPlay on gives you the best media experience on Bebo. When you visit another user's profile, their Video Box will automatically start playing their current favorite video.
You can change your account settings at anytime here: account settings
The Curly Fart by Brian Gibney
Oh silly Margaret
You’re such an easy target,
I agree, it is true
I frequently fart around you
The gas that I expel
Smells of brimstone from hell,
But who are you to think
That yours don’t stink?
I’ve been there,
When with a swish of your hair,
You let one out,
And without a doubt
It had quite a clout
Blown from my seat
I actually felt the heat!
As the poisonous wind
With it’s smell had me pinned
I couldn’t draw a breath,
As you lezzed out with steph
You are a hypocrite
Your farts also smell like shit!!
0 Comments 277 weeks
The Grinch that stole my christmas is the common cold a.k.a Acute viral nasopharyngitis. How can you enjoy such an enjoyable day when goo is dripping from every orifice in your head? Well, Mr. Cold let me tell you this, It's on like donkey Kong! Fuck cancer, I'm cureing your ass once and for all. bring it!!
0 Comments 281 weeks
NORTHSIDE LEAVING CERT
MATHS TEST FOR SECONDARY SCHOOLS
IN THE NORTHSIDE OF DUBLIN
GANG NAME ____________________
1. Deco has 0.5 kilos of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to Vinno for 300 Euro and 90 grams to Tomo for 90 Euro a gram,what is the street value of the rest of
2. Anto pimps 3 brassers. If the price is 40 Euro a royde, how many roydes
per day must each brasser perform to support Vinno's 500 Euro a day crack habit?
3. Whacker wants to cut the kilo of cocaine he bought for 7,000 Euro, to make a 20% profit. How many grams of strychnine will he need?
4. Christy got 6 years for murder. He also got €350,000 for the hit. If his
common law wife spends €33,100 per month, how much money will be left when he gets out of the 'Joy?
Extra Credit Bonus: How much more time will Christy get for killing the
slapper that spent his money?
5. If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square metres and the average
letter is 1 square metre, how many letters can be sprayed with an eight fluid ounce can of spray paint with 20% extra paint free?
6. Liamo steals Eamo's skateboard. As Liamo skates away at a speed of 35 mph, Eamo loads his brother’s gun. If it takes Eamo 20 seconds to load the gun, how far will Liamo have travelled when he gets whacked?
SOUTH SIDE LEAVING CERT
MATHS TEST FOR SECONDARY SCHOOLS
IN THE SOUTHSIDE OF DUBLIN
__________________(if longer, please request extra paper)
1. Julian smashes up the old man's car, causing x amount of damage and
killing three people. The old man asks his local TD to intervene in the court system, then forges his insurance claim and receives a payment of y. The difference between x and y is three times the life insurance settlement for the three dead people. What kind of car is Julian driving now?
2. Chloe's personal shopper decides to substitute generic and own-brand
products for the designer goods favoured by her employer. In the course of a
month she saves the price of a return ticket to Fiji and Chloe doesn't even
notice the difference. Is she thick or what?
3. Roly fancies the arse off a certain number of tarts, but he only has
enough Rohypnol left to render 33.3% unconscious. If he has 14 Rohypnol, how is he ever going to shag the other two-thirds?
4. If Savannah throws up four times a day for a week she can fit a size 8
Versace. If she only throws up three times a day for two weeks, she has to make do with a size 10 Dolce et Gabbano. How much does liposuction cost?
5. If Ross shouts Affluence 5 many times from the car window how many high fives is he due?
COUNTRY LEAVING CERT
MATHS TEST FOR SECONDARY SCHOOLS
Name: Paddy/Mary (circle one)
1. If Paddy Joe Murphy drove a Massey Ferguson through PaddyJohn’s turnip
crop at 10miles an hour. What colour was Paddy John’s tractor?
2. If John Joe likes Mary and Mary likes Paddy, how much is a pint of stout
in O'Brien’s at the crossroads?
3. Paddy Joe Mahoney has 25 sheep, 10 cows, 12 hens, a cockerel and 6 geese. John Joe has 12 sheep, 18 cows and 12 pigs. How much does Paddy Joe offer to John Joe for a dowry for Mary?
4. If it takes Sarah Jane 40 minutes to cycle 12 miles to O'Brien’s on the
crossroads for the ceilidh and it takes Mary Murphy 40 minutes to walk 2 miles
to O'Brien’s, which girl will end up in John Joe’s hay barn?
5. If Paddy Joe’s prize hen can lay 4 eggs every morning and his other hens
can lay only two each the odd morning, which one will he have for
0 Comments 378 weeks