everyday is the same,
same shit, same pain,
you'll never know how much we hurt,
the lil slags still wana flirt,
they dont know the score,
they only know that they r sore,
wot do we do wivout you?
wot do we do wen we r blue?
you were the one who gave us a lift,
the only one 2 catch our drift,
your the one we miss the most,
so to you goes our toast,
so raise your glasses,
the ym massive,
here we go on the raz,
in honour of you,
our dear friend baz
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

R.I.P 18th oct 2007

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand. ... I have had Sex since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on.

When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too!"

One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married." The Judge said, "Me too!"

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for Sex." -- My case comes up next Thursday.

Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I couldn't live any longer so lonely." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend
so get yourself a dog."

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
But I only slept with you, because I was pissed.


*************************
I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.


**************************
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and
so is your head.


*************************
Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face.


****************************
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.


******************************
I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face.


*******************************
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!


**********************************
**
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.


**********************************
**
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.


**********************************
*****
My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?


**********************************
******
My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell".