1) When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them
on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile,
and go back for more.

3) Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push
the wrong ones.

4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if
they know what floor your on.

5) Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After
a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

6) Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream,
"That's mine!"

7) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask
if they have an apointment.

9) Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like
to play.

10) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if
they can hear ticking.

11) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency
procedures and exits with the passengers.

12) Ask, "Did you feel that?"

13) Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

14) When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay,
don't panic, they open again!"

15) Swat at flies that don't exist.

16) ask people if they want to see your ass

17) Call out, "Group Hug!" and then enforce it.

1 Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and
muttering,"Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

19) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering
inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

20) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the
wall, without getting off.

21) Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in
horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

22) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the
other passengers.

23) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

24) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

25) Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then
announce, "I have new socks on".

26) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce
to the
other passnegers, "This is MY personal space!

Emmet Cullen: Stronger Than You since 1916
Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843
Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since 1901
Rosalie Hale: Better Than You since 1916
Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You since 1901

You just know it's gonna be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.

Who ever said small things don't matter should try sleeping in a room with a mosquito.

Anyone who says nothings impossible should try slamming a revolving door.

I tried sniffing Coke once. Unfortunately, the ice cubes just got stuck in my nose.

I got a jar of diiiiirt!!!

Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun

You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your stupid ass.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it

A friend helps you up when you fall, a best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?"

A friend wipes your tears when your rejected, a best friend goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?"

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain, a best friend takes your hand and says, "RUN, BITCH RUN!"

A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, THAT WAS AWESOME , LETS DO IT AGAIN!!

A friend sees you hurt and asks if your okay, a best friend doesnt ask for explanations just SHOW ME WHO THE FUCK DID THAT TO YOU

Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days"

My knight in shining armour turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

I'm the kind of person who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

Huh, it figures. All the good guys are taken, vampires, or both.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

You'll never see me betting against Alice.

Bella: "Friends don't let friends drive drunk."
Edward: "Drunk?...You're intoxicated by my very presence"

Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. How ever, if I’m hot, then I’m a werewolf. I’d rather be cool.

"Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton

I don't want no Fanfiction, all I want is bubblegum, bazooka zooka bubblegum!

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

"And speaking of Italy and sports cars that I stole there, you still owe me a yellow Porsche.” — Alice Cullen

"I prefer brunettes.” — Edward Cullen

“We’re a bit sensitive to blood around here. I’m sure you can understand that.” — Bella Swan

“There's something...strange about the way you two are together...the way he watches you-it's so...protective. Like he's about to throw himself in front of a bullet to save you or something." --Renee Dwyer.

“I don’t have any leeches on my speed dial.” — Jacob Black

“I’m really glad Edward didn’t kill you. Everything’s so much more fun with you around.” — Emmett Cullen

“Here’s the thing… I’ve already gone crazy once. I know what my limits are.” — Bella Swan

“Edward’s only human, Bella. He’s going to react like any other boy.” — Angela Weber

“I never thought I needed to teach you how to throw a punch. Guess I was wrong about that.” — Charlie Swan

“This hostage stuff is fun.” — Alice Cullen

“Does my being half-naked bother you?” — Jacob Black

“Do you ever think that your life might be easier if you weren’t in love with me?” — Edward Cullen

“I already know how strong you are. You didn’t have to break the furniture.” — Bella Swan

"Would you like to hear my story, Bella? It doesn't have a happy ending—but which of ours does? If we had happy endings, we'd all be under gravestones now." — Rosalie Hale

"You aren't exactly the best judge of what is or isn't dangerous." — Edward Cullen

"I didn't have quite the same...upbringing as my adopted siblings here. My beginning was something else entirely." --Jasper Hale

“I think I might have been wrong before, you know, about not being able to be friends. Maybe we could manage it, on my side of the line. Come see me.” — Jacob Black

"It’s the thought that counts. I ought to know." — Edward Cullen

"Well, that just sucks! I guess I’m stuck with Mike Newton after all.”— Bella Swan

"Fall down again, Bella?” — Emmett Cullen

"Did you seriously just stamp your foot? I thought girls only did that on TV." --Jacob Black

“Hey, vampire girl!” — Embry Call

“Besides…the more time I spend with you, the more human emotions seem comprehensible to me. I’m discovering that I can sympathize with Heathcliff in ways I didn’t think possible before.” — Edward Cullen

“Do you think either of them would give up if you died? They’d still fight, we all would. You can’t change anything, so just be good, okay?” — Alice Cullen

"I was just wondering why you stabbed him. Not that I object-" --Edward Cullen

“The stories say that the Cold Woman was the most beautiful thing human eyes had ever seen. She looked like the goddess of the dawn when she entered the village that morning; the sun was shining for once, and it glittered off her white skin and lit the golden hair that flowed down to her knees. Her face was magical in its beauty, her eyes black in her white face. Some fell to their knees to worship her.” — Billy Black

"It's a good thing you're bulletproof." --Bella Swan

"I offered eternal servitude, remember. I'm your slave for life." --Jacob Black

"I feel like screaming!" --Jessica Stanley

"Would you please tell me what you are thinking? Before I go mad?" --Edward Cullen

"Maybe you should pick on people your own size." --Charlie Swan

"I can’t imagine how awful that must feel. Being normal? Ugh." — Bella Swan

"I know you think that I have some kind of perfect, unyielding self-control, but that’s not actually the case." — Edward Cullen