Who are u?
R we frends?
Wen n how did we meet?
What was yr 1st impression of me?
What do u think of me?
Wats d fondest memory u hav of me?
Hw long do u tink we wil be frends?
Do u luv me?
Hav I ever hurt u[sorry if i av]?
Wud u hug me?
Wud u kiss me?
Are we close?
On a scale of 1-10 how sexy am I?
Wat do u think my weakness is?
Wat reminds u of me?
Wat's something you would change about me?
Hw well do u knw me?
Ever wnted 2 tell me sumtin?
Anything u want to tell me now?
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WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF:
I fell asleep on yr shoulder :
I sed I like u:
I kissed u:
I lvd nxt door 2 u:
I hugged u:
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WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY:
Personality:
Eyes:
Face:
Hair:
Smile:
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1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the
time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the fuck is
yours? Do I point at my Crotch when I ask where the toilet
is?
2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search
the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to
walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
3. When people say, "Oh you just want to have your cake and
eat it too". Fucking right! What good is a cake if you can't
eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of
course it is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after
you've found it?
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see
that?". No dipstick, I paid a tenner to come to the cinema and
stare at the fucking floor.
6. People who ask, "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't
really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If
it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If
it's an improvement, then there must have had something wrong with it
before
8. When people say, "life is short". What the fuck? Life is
the longest damn thing anyone ever fucking does!! What can
you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has
the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here
, Knob head?
10. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they
used to be'. So what did they used to be? Ears, Wellington
boots?
11. When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that
nice?' No it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.
12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks
that's an image I really didn't need.
13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you if
you don't insert the 'Mc' before the item you are
ordering... It has to be a McChicken Burger; just a Chicken
Burger gets blank looks. Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it
in your McEyes you McFucking Mcdumbass.
14. When you're involved in a accident and someone asks 'are
you all right?' Yes fine thanks, I'll just pick up my leg!