YES OR NO - IN THE LAST MONTH HAVE YOU:

Had sex: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
Bought something? Tekken 6.
Gotten sick: Currently sick. Not looking good for the gig >_<
Been hugged: Yup.
Felt stupid: All the fucking time recently -_-'' must be a phase.
Talked to an ex: Indeed.
Missed someone: Sure.
Failed a test: Nope.
Danced: White men can't/shouldn't dance.
Gotten your hair cut: NEVER!
Lied: Yeah.

UNIQUE:

Nervous habits: Chewing my fingernails, mumbling, clearing my throat.
Are you double jointed: Yeah I am.
Can you roll your tongue: No.
Can you raise one eyebrow: Uh huh.
Can you cross your eyes: Sure.
Do you make your bed daily: No, I often don't have time in the morning and can't be fucked when I get home.
Do you think you are unique: In most aspects.
Favorite possession: I'm not sure I have one. Probably my band t-shirts


HAVE YOU EVER:

Said "I Love you"? Yup.
Smoked: Too much -_-''
Waited all night for the phone? Yeah, maybe once or twice.
Snuck out? Yeah, I used to go for walks late at night.
Sat and looked at the stars: Whenever I get the chance.

MANNERS:

Do you swear/curse? Fuckin' oath I do ya stupid cunt.
Do you ever spit? Unfortuantely I've been coughing up phlegm. So, yes.
You cook your own food? Can't cook to save my life.
You do your own chores? Yeah, but I hardly ever clean my loft. I normally wait 'til it looks like a tip before I take action.
You like beef jerky? Yup. It's pretty tasty.
You're happy with your life? No answer -_-''
You own a dog? Nope.
Do you like to swim? To be honest, not really. It's okay.

DO YOU PREFER:

Flowers or angels? Flowers.
Grey or black? Black.
Color or black and white photos? Mmm depends on what's being photographed.
Lust or love? I like to think they go hand in hand.
Sunrise or sunset? Sunset.
M&Ms or Skittles? Sour skittles. Agreeing with Geo completely on this one.
Staying up late or waking up early? Staying up late. Waking up early is all I ever do these days. Hard to appreciate it when it's your routine.
Being hot or cold? Hot. I'm ALWAYS cold.
Winter or Autumn? Autumn.
Left or right? Left.
Having 10 acquaintances or 2 best friends? Neither.
Sunshine or rain? Rain.

MORE HAVE YOU EVER:

Hooked up in the woods? Hmmm... the answer is no.
Drank a whole bottle of alcohol by yourself? Only like, 50 bajillion times.
Hooked up in the shower? Yeah.
Been Dumped? Of course I have.
Stolen money from a friend? Nope.
Slept naked? I have slept naked, but prefer some boxers.
Been in a fist fight? Sure.
Had a crush on a teacher? Nah.
Seen someone die? Fortunately not.
Been on an airplane? Too many times to count.
Slept all day? Used to, not anymore.
Missed someone so much it hurt? Yeah. All the time.
Fallen asleep during school? No.
Cheated in a game? Yeah, don't know specifics though.
Been to the ER? Used to be my second home.
Been in a car accident? Yeah.
Had detention? Quite a few. Homework was never something I ever did.
Cried yourself to sleep? Mmm, perhaps.
Sung in the shower? Actually I growl. Sounds retarded, but it's what I do.
Kissed a complete stranger? No. Complete strangers would probably call the cops if I did that.
Laughed so hard you cried? Yeah, silent laughing fits ftw.

WOULD YOU RATHER:

Nose or Tongue piercing? Neither look particularly good on guys methinks.
Drink whole or skim milk? Whole.
Die in a fire or drown? I don't know. Probably drowning.
Spend time with your parents or enemies? Parents, even though they can be a pain in the ass.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

Do you like anyone? Perhaps.
Do they know it? Perhaps.
You twirl your spaghetti or cut it? Neither, I just kinda slurp it. I don't like eating spaghetti in public.
What's your favorite non-alcoholic drink? Tea, Coca-Cola.

Guy 1: Dude, you don’t look so good.
Guy 2: I know. I just got my hair cut.
Guy 1: No, not your hair. I mean you look physically ill.
Guy 2: Yeah, well, the broad that cut my hair had the worst breath on the planet—worse than anyone currently alive or dead.
Guy 1: You mean her breath was worse than a corpse’s breath.
Guy 2: Presumably, yes.
Guy 1: But we’re scumbags, bro. The smell of that black sludge I puked up that one time I drank a bunch of the blue-label Smirnoff vodka didn’t bother you at all. How could some lady’s breath have been terrible enough to make you sick? I mean, you look as if you just ate a bag of abortions from a leper colony dumpster.
Guy 2: Urgh … my lungs feel like the walls of an outhouse resting atop a tallow vat.
Guy 1: Don’t tell me you’re turning into a big girl, and foul odors are suddenly too much for your dainty lady nose.
Guy 2: I can’t even begin to describe the horror, dude. This stench transcends foul odor. Those Lovecraftian tentacle whisps of mephitic breath assaulted more than my nose. Those noxious, invisible stink tendrils hurt my soul … my soul.
Guy 1: Holy shit. What did this breath smell like?
Guy 2: What did it smell like? You can’t compare this breath to anything currently extant in this realm, dude. Inhaling that filth was like gazing into the abyss. It was gazing back into me, man. The abyss was fucking gazing into me!
Guy 1: Calm down, dipshit.
Guy 2: You just can’t understand.
Guy 1: I’ll try, though, because I’m beyond intrigued. What did this lady look like?
Guy 2: Well, physically she was a petit Vietnamese lady. That, I’m convinced, was only a disguise—a three-dimensional skin tarp, duplicitously masking the unspeakable horrors undulating endlessly into the depths beyond the boundaries of human understanding.
Guy 1: Enough of that metaphysical shit, dude, seriously.
Guy 2: Sorry. But, like I said, my soul has been wounded.
Guy 1: By bad breath? Heh. Pansy.
Guy 2: Take it easy, dick. I’m coming out of shock.
Guy 1: She probably just had some fucked up shit for lunch. You know, like cists scraped from cod cloacae, boiled in garlic broth or something.
Guy 2: I’m telling you, man: smells like that can’t be created. They have to be conjured … summoned or something.
Guy 1: Try to give me some kind of smell to compare it to.
Guy 2: I can’t. I mean, it didn’t smell like anything else. The best I can do is formulate some kind of comparison based on the severity of the odor as opposed to its similarities to common scents with which you’d be familiar.
Guy 1: Wait … what?
Guy 2: Okay, here’s an example: Although it didn’t smell anything like a syphilitic skunk ejaculating liquid Limburger cheese onto a pubic hair fire, I can safely—with a significant amount of presumption, of course—say that it was a far worse smell than that. Again, I must stress that it stank like nothing else I have ever smelled before.
Guy 1: Dude, truffle oil!
Guy 2: What?
Guy 1: My truffle oil precedent. Someone might ask, “What does truffle oil taste and smell like?” And my answer would be, as always, “It tastes and smells like truffle oil.” Truffle oil is a unique experience and can’t be compared to anything else.
Guy 2: Truffle oil sucks and is terrible.
Guy 1: Fuck you. You just have a pedestrian palette.
Guy 2: If by pedestrian you mean averse to the flavors one might find while probing the underside of a Parisian bus seat with his tongue, then, yes, I have a pedestrian palette.
Guy 1: Whatever.
Guy 2: Anyway, her breath was worse than if an aged Russian circus bear puked white pepper into her mouth, and that really obese cat that was on the news recently used her mouth as a litter box for, like, a month.
Guy 1: It was worse than that?
Guy 2: Based on my a posteriori understanding of the component odors present in that description, yeah, it was far gnarlier than that shit.
Guy 1: I’m noticing a recurrin

Guy 1: What is it with women?
Guy 2: You mean, like, in general?
Guy 1: No. I mean like how they always refer to a boner as a hard-on when they’re trying to sound all sexy right before they blow you. You know?
Guy 2: No, actually. I’ve never found myself in that situation.
Guy 1: Heh. Fag.
Guy 2: Shut up, asshole. I am not.
Guy 1: Anyway, yeah, it’s like when they’re trying to sound all sexy they call your woody a hard-on, as if that’s somehow the inherently erotic term for your erect penis.
Guy 2: This has happened to you a lot?
Guy 1: Oh yeah, totally. Pretty much, like, every single time. And, of course, in the thousands of pornos I’ve seen.
Guy 2: Maybe all of those pornos were written by the same guy.
Guy 1: That’s a valid hypothesis; however, as I just said, it always happens in real life, too.
Guy 2: Pardon me if I find it difficult to believe you’ve been raking in blowjobs these last few months.
Guy 1: Hey, you don’t know. Alright, pal?
Guy 2: Please, continue. Because, seriously, I have no idea where you’re going with this—never mind what triggered this bizarre conversation.
Guy 1: Well, I was watching the Food Network just now, when I suddenly remembered how much I love it when chicks blow me, yet, at the same time, I was thinking how much I hate women because they’re stupid.
Guy 2: And that triggered your memory of their unusually consistent way of referring to boners just before they put them in their mouths.
Guy 1: Yeah, basically. Come to think of it, maybe I—hell, all men—like BJs so much because it’s the one time women stop saying stupid shit for, like, five seconds without having their jaws wired shut.
Guy 2: From when they fell down all of those stairs and then ran into the door?
Guy 1: Exactly. Anyway, I don’t know what they have against words like boner, but they always seem to use hard-on instead. Or cock. Sometimes they use the word cock, but then they sound all medical. Seriously, what’s wrong with boner?
Guy 1: I don’t know. It’s not a very graceful word. Like, I suppose no matter how breathy a woman says that word it still sounds like she’s referencing a mistake her drunk uncle made at the last family reunion.
Guy 2: So? A boner isn’t supposed to be graceful. It’s just a stupid piece of engorged meat. It doesn’t even do anything. I mean, maybe if it fucked the ladies for you—had some moving parts, a piston, a dimmer switch—then they could church it up a little. It’s like an idiot memo got sent out in sound waves only women can hear.
Guy 1: I suppose such a thoughtless redundancy can really spoil the mood.
Guy 2: Yeah! It’s like, for once, I wish a woman would say something like, “Just lay back while I try to wrap my head around your boner.” Or maybe even, “Hold still while I spread my face on your stiffy.”
Guy 1: That’s all class.
Guy 2: Women are just unimaginative, I guess.
Guy 1: Well, at least they don’t seem to mind blowing you.
Guy 2: Dude, you know what it’s called when you split a chicken open to prepare it for cooking? Spatchcock!
Guy 1: Really?
Guy 2: Hell yeah! How awesome is that shit?
Guy 1: That is pretty funny.