She is not a BABE or a CHICK
* She is a BREASTED FEMALE.

She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER
* She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

She is not EASY
* She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

She does not TEASE or FLIRT
* She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.

She is not DUMB
* She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

She has not BEEN AROUND
* She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

She does not GET YOU EXCITED
* She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.

She is not KINKY
* She is a CREATIVE CARETAKER.

She does not have a KILLER BODY
* She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.

She is not an AIRHEAD
* She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY
* She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

She is not HORNY
* She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS
* She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

She does not NAG YOU
* She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE

She is not a SLUT
* She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS
* She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.

She is not a TWO BIT WHORE
* She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.

01] I _____ stuart.

02] stuart is _____.

03] If I were alone in a room with stuart I would _____.

04] I think stuart should _____.

05] stuart needs _____.

06] I want to _____ stuart.

07] Someday stuartwill ___.

08] stuart reminds me of _____.

09] Without stuart _____.

10] My memories of stuart are _____.

11] stuart can be _____.

12] The Worst thing about stuart is _____.

13] The best thing about stuart is _____.

14] I am _____ with stuart.

15] One thing I would like to know about stuart is _____.

16] stuart should go and _____.

17] stuart _____ me.

Q: My husband wants to experience three-in-a-bed-sex with me and my sister.

A: Your husband is clearly devoted to you. He cannot get enough of you, so he goes for the next best thing your sister. Far from being an issue, this will bring all of the family together. Why not get some cousins involved?
If you are still apprehensive, then let him go with your relatives, buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal and don't mention this aspect of his behaviour.

Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex with him.

A : Do it. Sperm is not only great tasting, but has only 10 calories a spoonful. It is nutritious and helps you to keep your figure and gives a great glow to the skin. Interestingly, a man knows this. His offer to you to perform oral sex with him is totally selfless. Oral sex is extremely painful for a man. This shows he loves you. Best thing to do is to thank him, buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal.

Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.

A: This is perfectly natural behaviour - and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. Far from being pleasurable, a night out with the boys is a stressful affair, and to get back to you is a relief for your partner. Just look back at how emotional and happy the man is when he returns to his stable home. Best thing to do is to buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal and don't mention this aspect of his behaviour.

Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.

A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it do it in your own time. To help with the family budget you may wish to video tape yourself while doing this, and to sell it at flea markets. To ease your selfish guilt, buy your man a nice expensive present, and cook him a delicious meal.

Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.

A: Foreplay to a man is very hurtful. What it means is that you do not love your man as much as you should - he has to work a lot to get you in the mood. Abandon all wishes in this area, and make it up to him by buying a nice expensive present, and cooking a nice meal.


Q: My husband has never given me an orgasm.

A: The female orgasm is a myth. It is fostered by militant, man-hating feminists and is a danger to the family unit. Don't mention it again to him and show your love to him by buying a nice expensive present and don't forget to cook him a delicious meal.

Q: How do I know if I'm ready for sex ?

A: Ask your boyfriend. He'll know when the time is right. When it comes to love and sex, men are much more responsible, since they're not confused emotionally as women. It's a proven fact.

Q: Should I have sex on the first date ?

A: YES. Before if possible.

Q: What exactly happens during the act of sex ?

A: Again, this is entirely up to the man. The important thing to remember is that you must do whatever he tells you without question. Sometimes, however, he may ask you to do certain things that may at first seem strange to you.
Do them anyway.

Q: How long should the sex act last ?

A: There is no average time, but anything over two minutes is good. Anything under that and you may be rushing your man. After your man has finished making love, he'll have a natural desire to leave you suddenly, and go out with his friends to play golf. Or perhaps another activity, such as going out with his friends to the bar for the purpose of consuming large amounts of alcohol and sharing a few personal thoughts with his buddies. Don't feel left out-while he's gone you can busy yourself by doing his laundry, cleaning his apartment, or perhaps even going out to buy him an expensive gift. He'll come back when he's ready.