Wahine Toa, Wahine Toa, Wahine Toa - A Woman of Strength

Until Wednesday the 9th February I had no idea what WAHINE TOA meant but over the past few days whilst watching her I now know that she is the epitome of the definition;

Barbara Kotehunga Toi, our beloved nanny, mother, grandmother, great grandmother, aunty, cousin and friend.

The last week has been extremely difficult for all of us; to sit around nan and watch her suffer and not be able to help her nor take her pain away was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life, I felt my heart break more than 1000 times each day. Yet I am amazed in her sheer will to not give up which we all know is an infamous family trait amongst the Toi woman that she has so gladly passed down to her daughters, grand daughters and her future generations to come. She promised that she would fight until the end and that is exactly what she did. I have never felt so proud yet so sad at the same time. She always carried herself with such strength and mana even through all her pain she still managed to think of us and not herself, barely able to communicate yet still reaching out to wipe the brow of those weeping over her and comforting us but we all know that was nan, always putting others before herself.

We sat around our beautiful nan while our whanau dipped into the past, pulling out tales of her life and installed them within us. They talked of a woman who went through extreme hardship and overcame amazing odds. From losing her mother at the age of 2, to being a single mum at a very young age, abusive partners to family members who disregarded her presence and on top of that she had to deal with her deteriorating eyesight, these stories of our nan made us weep and cry but most of all angry and yet at the same time so proud to know we originated from such strength, pride and aroha.

Our Wahine Toa had gone through so much pain and suffering for no reason, she carried on regardless of the dry gullies that were placed in her path, her placid nature and forgiving heart remained untainted by all that was done to her. Even with all that happened to her she was a great mother and grandmother, she showed nothing but unconditional love, she was always unjudging and always forgiving. She found strength in Jehovah and completely turned her life around; even though she is gone she has managed to finally get her whanau to open their minds to the possibility of Jehovah and his truth, this would make her so happy.

While nursing nan I would sit there and wonder what it was that drove her, what had inspired her to keep going – I realized it was her love for us, her children, her grandchildren and most of all her savior Jehovah. Her love for each one of us kept her going through all her struggles and strife, since then everyday I sit in awe of this amazing woman whom I can not find enough words to pay tribute to, except to say that our lives will never ever be the same without her. I thought she would be around forever and took advantage of my time with her; all I can say to you is cherish your loved ones and make the most of your time with them as you never know when the good lord will take them from you. After everything I have learned about her, things us grandchildren never knew, I have come to realize that she is my idol, she is my role model, and there is no other woman that I would rather be a proud grand daughter of.


YOU WILL BE CHERISHED FOREVER IN OUR HEARTS;
WE LOVE YOU AND WILL FOREVER MISS YOU NAN!!!

Dedicated To My Nann - Barbara Kotehunga Toi R.I.P

A strong woman works out every day to keep her body in shape ...
but a woman of strength kneels in prayer to keep her soul in shape...

A strong woman isn't afraid of anything ...
but a woman of strength shows courage in the midst of her fear...

A strong woman won't let anyone get the best of her ...
but a woman of strength gives the best of her to everyone...

A strong woman makes mistakes and avoids the same in the future...
a woman of strength realizes life's mistakes can also be God's blessings and capitalizes on them...

A strong woman walks sure footedly ...
but a woman of strength knows God will catch her when she falls...

A strong woman wears the look of confidence on her face ...
but a woman of strength wears grace...

A strong woman has faith that she is strong enough for the journey ...
but a woman of strength has faith that it is in the journey that she will become strong...

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken, probably more than once, and it's harder every time. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world, who holds your hand in front of his friends. Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you .....