Stevan

Get Jedward into im a celebrity get me out of here. Let all the boring old FARTS watch their Z factor.

51 minuten geleden | ik ook! | Antwoord

Stevan
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Me, Myself, and I
│║▌║█║▌║▌│║█ │║
Made In Scotland
Music
Lilly Allen,
Amy Winehouse
Shakira
Red Hot Chilli Peppers,
Kings Of Leon
Drink
Milk
Sports
Yachting, Football, Golf, Skiing
 , Wind Surfing, Snorkelling, Rock Climbing, Tennis, Surfing, Bowls, Table Tennis, Beach Volleyball, Jogging, Flying Planes And Lieing.
Scared Of
Damn Plane crashing
Happiest When
Im Abroad
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stevanhogg@hotmail.com

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  • SCOTLAND

    Being Scottish is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a
    Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a
    Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American
    shows on a Japanese TV.

    And the most Scottish thing of all? Suspicion of all things foreign!

    Only in Scotland can a pizza get to your house faster than an
    ambulance.

    Only in Scotland do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to
    the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can
    buy cigarettes at the front.

    Only in Scotland do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and
    a DIET coke.

    Only in Scotland do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to
    the counters.

    Only in Scotland do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the
    drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

    Only in Scotland do we use answering machines to screen calls and
    >>then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we
    >>didn't want to talk to in the first place.

    Only in Scotland are there disabled parking places in front of a skating
    rink.

    NOT TO MENTION.

    3 Scots die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their >>tongue.

    142 Scots were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new
    shirts.

    58 Scots are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
    screwdrivers.

    31 Scots have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while
    the fairy lights were plugged in.

    19 Scots have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas
    decorations were chocolate.

    Scottish Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas
    cracker-pulling accidents.

    18 Scots had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
    cigarette in their mouth.

    A massive 543 Scots were admitted to A&E in the last two years after
    trying to open bottles of beer with their teeth.

    5 Scots were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control
    Scalextric cars.

    and finally...

    In 2000 eight Scots were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls
    incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet.

    If you're proud to be a Scot, send this on!

    SCOTLAND - Love it, or Leave it!

    0 Commentaren 286 dagen

  • Wee Scottish Guy Sitting At The Bar

    A Wee scottish guy sitting at a bar, a big thug walks in and hits him to the floor and says "thats a karate chop from Korea"

    Later the thug walks up to him and hits him again and says "thats a judo chop from Japan"

    The wee scottish guy goes out and a few minutes later returns, smacks the thug on the head and knocks him out, with blood splattered everywhere

    And says to the barman "when that B*****d wakes up tell him that was a f*****g crowbar from Scotland!!

    0 Commentaren 321 dagen

  • Wee Scottish Guy Sitting At The Bar

    A Wee scottish guy sitting at a bar, a big thug walks in and hits him to the floor and says "thats a karate chop from korea"

    later the thug walks up to him and hits him again and says "thats a judo chop from japan"

    The wee scottish guy goes out and a few minates later returns, smacks the thug on the head and knocks him out, with blood splattered everywhere

    and says to the barman "when that cunt wakes up tell him that was a fucking crowbar from halfords!!

    2 Commentaren 323 dagen

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