Land o' the purple heather,
Land o' the dirty weather,
Land where the midges gaither,
SCOTLAND THE BRAVE!!

Land o' the Pakistani's,
Andy Capp, and saturday sannies,
Land where they sell there grannies,
SCOTLAND THE BRAVE!!

They used to say on fathers day,
You could hear the bag-pipes play,
Now you hear the regal tones,
Of Elton John and the Rolling Stones,

Land that is full o' stinkers,
Wee fat jews and pee-pee drinkers,
Whisky put a lot o' stinkers,
Into Scottish Grave,

Land that is full o' skivers,
Comic singers, deep sea divers,
Turbans on our bus condrivers,
SCOTLAND THE BRAVE!!

Land o' the brutal bobbies,
Councillers wi' part-time jobbies,
Architects wi' paying hobbies,
SCOTLAND THE BRAVE!!

The tourists come here ever year,
To see all our historic gear,
But all they see is loads o' navies,
High rise flats wi' concrete lavies.

Land o' the "Artic" lorries,
Andy Stewart, and ra Corries,
Land where a'body borries,
SCOTLAND THE BRAVE!!

Land o' the Kilt and Sporran,
Underneath there's nothin' worn!
How I wish the wind was warm,
SCOTLAND THE BRAVE!!

I must admit it's pretty gruesomes,
Walking round with a frozen twosome,
It's all we've got, we musna lose them,
SCOTLAND THE BRAVE!!

Conservatives try to assure us,
Labours hard put to endure us,
The Kirk puts curbs on our enjoyment,
Goverment, makes unemployment.

Never mind, the day is near,
When indepence will be here,
We'll drink a toast in Younger's beer
TO SCOTLAND THE BRAVE!!