Inspired by the aptly-named "Blonde Blog" of a certain Jess Cox, I have decided to cobble together a bunch of random, demented and downright stupid things that my friends and I have said in times gone by.

*I'm explaining something complicated to Kevin, probably about some game or another*
Kevin: ...pie?

*Me, Kevin and Gary are randomly running down the streets like idiots on donkeys*
Gary: God-dang it Cletus! Keep up! EE-ORRRH!
(Supposedly Cletus is Gary's talking donkey associate who has a mean disposition and a profound love for cake)

*In an MSN conversation with David and Nathan. Nathan posts a random link.*
David: Bewbz.
Nathan: Yes, bewbz.
Me: BEWBZ!

*Later in said conversation*
Nathan: How many ducks would a duck fucker fuck if a duck fucker could fuck ducks?

*On Xbox Live with David*
David: Bewbz.
Me: Shiny.

*In an MSN conversation with Jess and Sheldon*
Sheldon: I'm gonna get pie!
Me: *a long time later*... I love pie.

*Me in a conversation with a few friends*
Me: Lol, Tetris.

*Me, Gary and Ryan are staying over at Kevin's house. Me and Gary are playing Guitar Hero II. Gary get's 100% in many parts of the song we played; I got a few*
Kevin: Look at how many 100%s Gary got!
Me: I got some 100%s too...
Ryan: ...Shut up Michael!
Me: Or right, nobody asks how Michael's day went! Why don't we all just go worship Gary!
Kevin: ...Shut up Michael!
Me: ...Yes sir.

*After getting my hair cut, Friel makes an observation about tomorrow's Biology class*
Friel: McGiverz'll probably think you're another Polish kid and she'll be all like *cue corresponding hand movements* This is Ireland. Ireland! I'm fat! Stay away from me or I'll eat your hands!

*Me and Brendan are standing at the radiator (i.e. heat) outside the chapel in school. The ever-hated PAT walks past*
PAT: *to some teacher* Oh hello, Finnoula!
Brendan: Bonjour Tristesse! (French: "Hello sadness/misery")

*Me, Brendan, Fitzy and D-Dave are having a deeply intellectual debate about ties*
D-Dave: Mine's better coz its a Double Windsor! [Let it be known that the writer of this does not actually know what a Double Windsor is]
Me: Mine's not! Life's so much simpler when you're simple like me!

*Me, Brendan and D-Dave are standing at heat. The bell goes and a horde of fat first-years stampede past, mauling D-Dave*
D-Dave: Why the hell am I the one that always gets trampled by the herd of fatties?!
Me and Brendan: *simultaneously* Parce que vous etez dyslexique! (French: "Because you're dyslexic!")

*Me and Kevin are in The Chip Wagon.*
Woman: What can get you?
Kevin: A burger
Woman: What do you want with your burger?
Kevin: A bap
Woman: Yes, but... what do you wat in your bap?
Kevin: ...A burger.

*I'm in Biology class*
Finnegan: You there, can you answer the question?
Me: *answers*
Finnegan: Yes... well done Mark
Me: Michael.
Finnegan: Michael?
Me: Michael.
Finnegan: Michael... *walks out door*

*Me Kevin and Gary are in... well, Gary's house. Kevin is forced to smell Gary's shoe*
Kevin: That smells like the inside of a whale!
Gary: Kevin... how do you know what the inside of a whale smells like?
Kevin: ...This isn't where I parked my car! *walks out door*

*Me, Ryan and Kevin are walking down from Xtra-Vision. Ryan is very thirsty and takes a drink of Coke.*
Ryan: Oh man, I've never been so happy to have a man-made liquid in my mouth. Alright, Giggity giggity!

*Me, Marty and Ryan are in Ryan's house. Ryan goes to "relieve" himself in the bathroom.*
Ryan: *shouting* OH, oh Christ! OH, Jesus that hurts! Here lads, do you ever get one of them shits that's too big to fit out your ass hole?! Ooh, oh damn! Whoo, oh! Today, I've become a man!
*Ryan walks down the stairs walking funny*
Ryan: Lads, don't go in there...

*That random weekend that Rebecca was over. Rebecca walks over

I disgust myself by doing this...

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and How did we meet?
4. Do you have a crush on me?
5. Would you kiss me?
6. Would u fuck me ?
7. Give me a nickname and explain why.
8. Describe me in 1 word:
9. What was your first impression of me?
10. Do u still think the same?
11. What reminds you of me?
12. If you could give me anything what would it be?
13. How well do you know me?
14. What do you like best about me?
15. Do you love me?
16. When was the last time you saw me?
17. Ever wanted to tell me something that you couldn't?
18. Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you?
19. Anything to say before you go?

As I am no longer a synical, ego-induced shit, I thought I'd change this blog into something a little more pleasant for the common folk.

1. Full Name: Michael Francis James Glavin. Laugh and you die.
2. Nickname: Micky, Glavin. (Original )
3. Birthday: April 15th, 1990AD
4. Place of Birth: Craigavon
5. Zodiac Sign: Aries
6. Male or female: Male
7. Grade: 14
8. high: St Pat's Armagh
9. Occupation: Student
10. Residence: Portadown
11. MSN Screen: Michael/Pyroshark
12. Hair Colour: Brown
13. Hair Length: Middlin'
14. Eye colour: Browney-bluey-green
15. Weight: Roughly 10 stone (140lbs)
16. Height: 5' 10.5''. Ish.
17. Braces? No.
18. Glasses? Yes, but not all the time.
19. Piercings: No.
20. Tattoos: No.
21. Righty or Lefty: Lefty!

___Your 'Firsts'___

22. First best friend: Marty, probably.
23. First Award: Grade 1 Violin.
24. First Sport You Joined: Karate.
25. First pet: Dog.
26. First Real Vacation: Cumbria, England.
27. First Concert: Yes.
28. First Love: <<<The Ninjas are watching>>>

___ Favourites___

29. Movie: I have many.
30. TV programme: Spongebob Squarepants!
31. Fav Colours: Red 'n' Black. In that order. (GO BUCKEYES! XD)
32. Rapper: *chooses to ignore*
33. Band: Thin Lizzy
34. Song Right Now: Black Rose
35. Friend: Too many to choose from...
36. Sweet: Choclit!
37. Sport to Play: Karate, Gaming.
38. Restaurant: SUBWAY!
39. Favourite brand: Crosshatch, if I had to pick anything.
40. Store: Game, or connotations thereof.
41. School Subject: French/Biology/English
42. Animal: Ostrich, named Thunder.
43. Book: Relentless - Simon Kernick
44. Magazine: GamesTM
45. Shoes: Those stupidly wide CS55 "skater" shoes I have.

__Currently___

46. Feeling: Generally content.
47. Single or Taken? Yes...
48. Have a crush: Perhaps... ;>_>
49. Eating: Choclit!
50. Drinking: My own saliva?
51. Typing: Well this, duh.
52. Online? No shit, Sherlock.
53. Listening To: Black Sabbath - Planet Caravan
54. Thinking About: Going out in a few minutes and possibly getting ready.
55. Wanting To: Visit strange new places and meet interesting new people.
56. Watching: This screen... O_O
57. Wearing: A generic white t-shirt and jeans. Exciting, I know.

___Your Future___

58. Want Kids? Maybe.
59. Want to be married? Probably.
60. Careers in Mind: Journalist.
61. Where do you want to live: Anywhere but here.

__Which is Better With The Opposite Sex___

63. Hair colour: Whatever
64. Hair length: middle
65. Eye colour: brown, or really startling blue
66. Measurements: Whatever's going >.>
67. Cute or Sexy: I'm not fussed.
68. Lips or Eyes: eyes
69. Hugs or Kisses: *teh hugz*
70. Short or Tall: Middle
71. Easygoing or serious: easygoing
72. Romantic or Spontaneous: romantic
73. Fatty or Skinny: skinny
74. Sensitive or Loud: sensitive (had enough of loud)
75. Hook-up or Relationship: relationship
76. Sweet or Caring: both
77. Trouble Maker or Hesitant One: hesitant one

___Have you ever______

78. Kissed a Stranger: yes
79. Had Alcohol: yes
80. Smoked: no
81. Ran Away From Home: no
82. Broken a bone: no
83. Got an X-ray: yes
84. Been with someone: <<<The Ninjas are watching>>>
85. Broken Someone’s Heart: I dont think so.
86. Broke Up With Someone: <<<The Ninjas are watching>>>
87. Cried When Someone Died: yea
88. Cried At School: Hasn't everyone?

___Do You Believe In___

89. God: I've seen no reason to support his existence, but nor have I seen any to support his lack of existence.
90. Miracles: Yes, in the form of spontaneous anomalies.
91. Love At First sight: Tough one to answer, that.
92. Ghosts: Not really.
93. Aliens: Yes, but not in alien invasions.
94. Soul Mates: Probably.
95. Heaven: See answer for "God".
96. Hell: See answer for "God".
97. Angels: See answer for "God".
98. Kissing on The First Date? Does it really matter?
99. Horoscopes: Ugkh.

___Answer Truthfully___

100. Is t